elizabeth seton

The Vincentian Roots of Friendship

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Written By: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

What do Vincent de Paul, Louise de Marillac, Elizabeth Seton, and Frédéric Ozanam have in common? Some answers are obvious: they loved God deeply, they shared a mission, and they accomplished enormous good for the poor. But they shared commonalities not only in what they did but how they did it. All these dynamic Vincentian figures relied on the power of friendship. This could take a practical form, such as networking to found and support their organizations. But they also relied on it to fulfill personal needs—to mature their outlooks and nurture the incredible amount of spirit it took to accomplish their goals. Much of what we know about these figures comes from the letters they wrote, and, especially in Elizabeth’s and Frédéric’s cases, many of these were to their friends. [1] Therefore, it seems fitting that before Valentine’s Day, which many countries now celebrate as a friendship day, we consider the role of friendship in our Vincentian heritage, our DePaul community, and in our own daily lives.

Let’s put the importance of friendship within our own cultural context—both in broader American culture and in the culture that exists at DePaul. Back in 2023, the US surgeon general made headlines when he declared loneliness a public health epidemic. In early 2024, a poll from the American Psychiatric Association found that “30% of adults [said] they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while 10% [said] they are lonely every day. Younger people were more likely to experience these feelings, with 30% of Americans aged 18–34 saying they were lonely every day or several times a week.” [2] Considering the student population DePaul serves, these are essential statistics. A significant benefit of being a college graduate is an increased likelihood of having more friends, which provides cascading advantages over a lifetime. [3] This is a benefit we hope our students will derive from their time in our community. But forming and maintaining friendships in adulthood is so difficult that a specific branch of therapy, friendship therapy, has recently been created to address this need. Whole books are being written on how to make friendships work, and the New York Times even has a “friendship correspondent.” (That’s Anna Goldfarb, who has written an excellent book called Modern Friendship.)

Given the importance and difficulty of cultivating friendships, what can we learn from the Vincentian figures who excelled at this? They teach us that we should accept difficulty; just because their friendships were powerful doesn’t mean that they were easy to develop or maintain. When Louise first met Vincent, she felt accepting him as her spiritual director would be “repugnant.” Vincent did not want to be anyone’s director, and a curious two-year gap in an otherwise voluminous correspondence between them has led more than one scholar to believe there was a period of “coolness” in their relationship. [4] I highly recommend reading the published collections of the letters of the four Vincentian personages, which DePaul has made available online. [5] They show how affection within their relationships grew. There are two major threads running through all of them. First, these friendships were grounded not just in common interests but in a deep and common love (of God and of the poor) that was carried out in common enterprises. Second, the letters are supreme demonstrations of simplicity. Simplicity in the Vincentian sense usually means cultivating a deep sincerity, expressing a total alignment of our values, words, and behavior. But I think it could be extended to mean something else: profound openness about thoughts and feelings, in the sense of our internal states, in the sense of our affections, and in the sense of accepting the thoughts and feelings of others. Author and scholar Brené Brown has observed that the word courage “originally meant ‘to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’” [6] This is what we see happening in the lives and letters of our Vincentian forebears. They had the courage to practice simplicity.

So, Vincentian wisdom shows us that the best friendships are based on shared values and what might be called applied simplicity. We at DePaul have a particularly promising chance to strengthen relationships with those around us based on this wisdom. We are a community “gathered together for the sake of a mission,” so we know it is likely that others here share at least some of our deepest values. And if we practice simplicity, if we have the courage to make first moves and to be (appropriately) persistent, if we are open about what is in our hearts, then in time we can build the same types of friendships that sustained our Vincentian exemplars.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Who are the people who seem the likeliest partners in friendships for you? Are these people you need to reach out to, or are they people you already know? Where are the existing opportunities to deepen these relationships, and what are some ways you can create more?
  2. How have your friendships with colleagues at DePaul inspired and nurtured you? Is there anything you would like to accomplish as a joint effort with your friends?

Reflection by: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

[1] Numerous articles have been written on the role of friendship in these Vincentians’ lives. In addition to those cited in other footnotes in this article, some of the best are Margaret J. Kelly, D.C., “The Relationship of Saint Vincent and Saint Louise from Her Perspective,” Vincentian Heritage 11:1 (1990): 77–114. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol11/iss1/6; Wendy M. Wright, “Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton and the Art of Embodied Presence,” Vincentian Heritage 18:2 (1997): 249–60. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol18/iss2/9; Judith Metz, S.C., “The Key Role of Friendship in the Life of Elizabeth Bayley Seton,” Vincentian Heritage 29:1 (2009): 8–23. Available at: https://‌‌via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol29/iss1/2; and Frederick J. Easterly, C.M., “Frédérick Ozanam, A Layman For Now,” Vincentian Heritage 4:2 (1983): 140–71. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol4/iss2/4. If you visit Vincentian Heritage’s website at https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/, use “friend” as a search term to get results for many more.

[2] American Psychiatric Association, “New APA Poll: One in Three Americans Feels Lonely Every Week,” January 30, 2024, https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/news-releases/new-apa-poll-one-in-three-americans-feels-lonely-e.

[3] Daniel A. Cox, “The College Connection: The Education Divide in American Social and Community Life,” Survey Center on American Life, December 13, 2021, https://‌www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-college-connection-the-education-divide-in-american-social-and-community-life/.

[4] There’s some ambiguity about whether Louise mentions this repugnance specifically about Vincent as a person or just about changing directors in general. Louise de Marillac, document A.2, “Light,” n.d., Spiritual Writings, 1. Available online at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/ldm/; Hugh O’Donnell, C.M., “The Relationship of Saint Vincent and Saint Louise from His Perspective: A Personal and Theological Inquiry,” Vincentian Heritage 11:1 (1990): 62. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol11/iss1/5; Loretto Gettemeir, D.C., “Louise: A Life in Her Own Words,” Vincentian Heritage 12:2 (1991): 111. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol12/iss2/2/; see also O’Donnell, “Relationship of Saint Vincent and Saint Louise from His Perspective,” 69.

[5] For Vincent’s letters, see: https://via.library.depaul.edu/coste_en/. For Louise’s, see: https://via.library.depaul.edu/ldmlcd/. For Elizabeth’s, see: https://via.library.depaul.edu/seton_lcd/, and for Frédéric’s, see: https://via.library.depaul.edu/ozanam_law/.

[6] Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (Hazelden, 2010), 12.

Gratitude, Self-Acceptance, and the Unapologetic Cringe of Tumblr

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“Every day of life more and more increases my gratitude to Him for having made me what I am.”[1]
– Elizabeth Ann Seton

What do cringe, gratitude, and Vincentian service have to do with one another? And how can we apply it to our own vibrant community here at DePaul? Let’s find out.

First, let’s dive into this first quote from Elizabeth Ann Seton, founder of the American Sisters of Charity, modeled after the Daughters of Charity: “Every day of life more and more increases my gratitude to Him for having made me what I am.” We can read this statement in any number of ways: gratitude for simply being alive, appreciation for her privilege and station, thankfulness for gifting her with certain talents and capabilities, or even endowing her with a particular personality and passion. Perhaps the most Vincentian thing to do would be to take an “all of the above” approach: an appreciation of the whole person, of all that she is, and can be. This might sound a little conceited (thanks for making me so incredible!), but I think it points more towards an inspiring model of self-acceptance. Seton, who is pointedly aware of her own shortcomings, still accepts herself as she is—oddities, weaknesses, talents, and all—and is grateful to be herself.

Which brings us to the concept of cringe and unapologetic self-acceptance. As bit of backstory, the social media landscape has been … going through a bit of transformational collapse. We need not go into every sordid detail, but the memes have been hilarious even as the demise of Twitter has been bittersweet (with a heavy dose of Schadenfreude). Many are looking for a new social media home with no real viable candidates. It’s into this gulf that Tumblr, which never really went away, has emerged its cringy head.

The blog site, home to niche fandoms and a quirky sensibility, has found a resurgence. If Twitter is (was?) the land of hot political takes by ‘professional’ journalists and pseudo-intellectuals, Tumblr is currently where users are, en masse, deciding to make up a fake 1970’s Martin Scorsese movie that they have all pretended to see (which again, doesn’t exist), and then arguing about it. They’ve even created a fake trailer. It’s a weird place. But at its best it’s a place where people are unapologetically themselves and embody a kind of self-acceptance modeled in that Seton quote. There’s power in that: a community that not only recognizes but celebrates each other’s delightful individuality and quirks. It’s also very Vincentian: a recognition and celebration of each person’s sacred dignity.

But why bring up Tumblr, cringe, and unapologetic weirdness in a post about gratitude? How does this have any bearing on our own DePaul community and mission? There are many different things that might make us cringe, but usually they say more about ourselves (and our lack of self-acceptance) than the object of our embarrassment. By accepting ourselves—most especially the cringiest aspects of ourselves—and being grateful for the way we are and can be as whole people, we can accept others and flourish as a community. Vincent de Paul was no stranger to this: his lifelong partner in service, Louise de Marillac, found him utterly repugnant upon first meeting him! But they were able to work their way through these differences and we are still living out their mission today, four hundred years later.

This brings us to a final quote from Louise de Marillac herself: “I hope that your gratitude will place you in the disposition necessary to receive the graces you need to serve your sick poor in a spirit of gentleness and great compassion.”[2] Ultimately, our gratitude and self-acceptance should be directed outwards, in compassion, and in pursuit of the mission. Let’s celebrate our community’s own idiosyncrasies and be grateful for the wonderful diversity of personalities and passions.

Reflection by: Alex Perry, Division of Mission & Ministry

[1] 7.98, Draft to Mrs. William Raborg, [June 1817], Elizabeth Bayley Seton: Collected Writings, 2:488, at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vincentian_ebooks/11/.

[2] L.383, To My Very Dear Sister Anne Hardemont, November 13 (1653), Spiritual Writings of Louise de Marillac, 434, at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/ldm/.

Celebrating Louise de Marillac and the Seeds of Our Vincentian Tradition

bcicirel Elizabeth Seton, Louise de Marillac, Mission, Mission Monday, Seeds of Mission, Vincent de Paul, Vincentian stories , , , , , , ,

On Seeds in the Vincentian Tradition

– On the 361st anniversary of Louise de Marillac’s death, 15 March 1660 –

God, who created “every kind of plant that bears seed and every kind of fruit tree on earth that bears fruit with its seed in it… saw that it was good.”(1) Our Creator also sowed seeds of the mission in the hearts of Vincent de Paul, Louise de Marillac, and their associates.(2) Those seeds of hope developed into the Vincentian Family which fulfils the Vincentian mission around the globe. In their conferences and writings, Vincent and Louise frequently referred to grains and seeds, particularly the mustard seed. Most religious traditions embody “seeds of the Word.”(3) In seventeenth-century France, Christians understood the allegorical use of the mustard seed as the “word of God” in the Parable of The Sower in Sacred Scripture.(4)

Raised in the rural marshlands of the Landes district of Gascony, not far from the Pyrenees, young Vincent de Paul learned to work the land and care for flocks of sheep. Before he left the farm at fifteen to attend school in Dax, Vincent probably helped his family plant hard-shell seeds of millet. When “cooked in a pot and poured into a dish,” this nutritious staple resembles fluffy mashed potatoes.(5) Memories of rural life remained vivid to Vincent, especially when he spoke from experience and referred to the “Good country folk…[who] sow their seed and then wait for God to bless their harvest.”(6)

After moving to Paris, Vincent shifted from an agrarian focus to priestly service. He realized that relationships and events are like seeds. Each contains covert energy. Through his relationship with the Gondi family, Vincent discovered a spiritual poverty among the peasants residing on the family estates. When learning of their situation, Mme. de Gondi asked “What must be done?” This good woman planted the first seed of the mission. Her query and Vincent’s zeal produced the Congregation of the Mission (Vincentian Priests and Brothers) in France in 1625. The first mission preached by Vincent at Folleville in 1617, “has always been considered as the seed for all the others to follow.”(7)

Months later at Châtillon, after visiting the home of a family where illness prevailed, Vincent grasped both their need of assistance and the full extent of material poverty. His awareness became a root for creativity and practicality to grow into action as organized charity.(8) At Vincent’s invitation, women of the town “joined forces to take their turn to assist the sick poor,” thus forming the first Confraternity of Charity. This seedling would develop branches, initially in Paris. Soon, pastors replicated this model throughout France.(9)

In 1623, another event in Paris embedded seeds of hope deep within a distressed wife and mother seeking interior peace. Louise de Marillac had an extraordinary experience of light (or lumière), which freed her from anxiety and doubts. Inner peace permeated the core of her being. Aware that she would “live in a small community” and “help her neighbor,” Louise “did not understand” how that would be possible since “there was to be much coming and going.”(10) As a widow several years later, Louise began to assist with Vincent de Paul’s charitable works. Recognizing her potential, in 1629 Vincent sent Louise to Montmirail as his deputy. This was the first of many supervisory visits to the Confraternities of Charity.

Marguerite Naseau, a woman from the countryside, learned that volunteers were caring for sick and impoverished people through the Confraternities of Charity in Paris. She heard Vincent preaching and shared her desire to render such charitable services.(11) Perceiving that this encounter held a seed of great value, Vincent sent Marguerite to Louise de Marillac, now his collaborator. Louise formed the women who desired to commit themselves to be servants of the sick poor, and Marguerite became the first Servant of the Sick Poor. Together, Marguerite, Louise, Vincent, and the first sisters planted the seeds of mission, which developed into the Company of the Daughters of Charity in 1633. The Ladies of Charity of the Hôtel-Dieu was the next foundation established in Paris in 1634.

Illustration by Cody Gindy, CDM ’12

As a Catholic priest and man of action, Vincent de Paul proclaimed the word of God like seeds sown in the hearts of his listeners awaiting their moment of grace.(12) For persons in need, Vincent was generous and practical. His benevolence included “money, food, clothing, medicine, tools, seed for sowing, and other necessities to sustain life.”(13) A master of dialogue and diplomacy, Vincent responded to the grace of the moment, believing that God speaks through events, encounters, persons, and sometimes grains of millet.(14)

Elizabeth Seton used the image of sowing “the little mustard seed” in reference to her own Sisters of Charity of St. Joseph’s.(15) She reminded the women that “Every good work…we do is a grain of seed for eternal life.”(16) In a meditation comparing heaven to a mustard seed, Louise de Marillac wrote, “I am “well aware that this seed contains great strength within itself, both in its capacity to multiply and in the quality it gives to everything that is seasoned with it.”(17) Her deep desire was that the “seed may grow to its full perfection.”(18) Vincent would have certainly affirmed the important role of each person in collaborating to plant and nurture seeds of the mission to flourish.

Believe me, there is nothing like being faithful and persevering for the greater good once we have committed ourselves. May we be faithful to the mission of DePaul University in following the “way of wisdom.”(19) Let us be persons of integrity who honor the dignity and humanity of everyone, and let us embrace our responsibilities to one another and the common good. The result will be that we shall grow in virtue and God’s grace as the tiny grain of mustard seed grows into a large shrub over time.(20) I pray that the DePaul University community collaborates to transform society—to eliminate racism and eradicate oppression—so that mutual respect, justice, compassion, and peace may prevail for all people.

Reflection Questions:

  • How familiar am I with the energy of seeds? Their potential? What seeds have I planted? Nurtured? Harvested?
  • How sensitive am I to inner prompts that invite me to reflect on and recognize the veiled wisdom in unplanned events and providential encounters?
  • What helps me realize that an event or comment contains a powerful seed of hope or truth? How do I acknowledge its presence? How willing am I to respond by taking practical action?
  • As a member of the DePaul University community, what seeds would I like to plant? Seeds of hope? Seeds of equity? Seeds of respect? How could I nurture the growth of more seeds of the mission?

View the Seeds of the Mission Campaign Postscript

1) Genesis 1:11-12.
2) Louis Abelly, The Life of the Venerable Servant of God, Vols. 1-3 (Vincentian Studies Institute, 1993), 2:31. See: https://via.library.depaul.edu/abelly_english/4
3) Ad Gentes, §15. See: http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/‌documents/‌vat-ii_‌‌decree‌_‌19651207‌_ad-gentes_en.html
4) Luke 8:11.
5) Cooked millet has a fluffy texture and slightly nutty flavor. See Conference 13, Imitating the Virtues of Village Girls, 25 January 1643, CCD, 9:70. At: https://via.library.depaul.edu/coste_en/
6) Ibid., 73-4.
7) Abelly, Life, 1:61.
8) Conference 23, Maxims of Saint Vincent, “Order in the Service of Charity,” CCD, 12:383.
9) Document 1248, Foundation of the Charity in Châtlllon-Les-Dombes, 23 August 1617, CCD, 13b:3.
10) A2, Light, in Louise Sullivan, Spiritual Writings of Louise de Marillac (New York: New City Press, 1991), 1. At: https://via.library.depaul.edu/ldm/11/
11) Conference 24, Love of Vocation and Assistance to the Poor, 13 February 1646, CCD, 9: 194; Conference 12, The Virtues of Marguerite Naseau, [July 1642], CCD, 9:64-6.
12) Abelly, Life, 2:99.
13) Cf. Ibid., 1:204.
14) Letter 704, To Bernard Codoing, 16 March 1644, CCD, 2:499.
15) 7.117, Elizabeth Ann Seton to Antonio Filicchi, 16 September 1817, in Regina Bechtle, S.C., and Judith Metz, S.C., eds., Ellin M. Kelly, mss. ed., Elizabeth Bayley Seton Collected Writings, 3 vols. (New City Press: New York, 2000-2006), 2:508. See: https://via.library.depaul.edu/seton_lcd/
16) 10.2, Red Leather Notebook, Maxims, Ibid., 3a:488.
17) A.37, “Heaven Compared to a Mustard Seed,” in Sullivan, Spiritual Writings, 803.
18) Ibid.
19) Proverbs 4:11.
20) Conference 162, Repetition of Prayer, 19 November 1656, CCD, 11:346.

Reflection by: Betty Ann McNeil, D.C., Vincentian Scholar-in-Residence, Division of Mission and Ministry

When Shadows Give Way to Light

bcicirel Elizabeth Seton, Mission Monday, New Year's , ,

“I remain the daily subject of that boundless Mercy. The mists of Night and darkness dispersed, and if even at the Eleventh hour, Yet permitted to share in the Vineyard and gather the fruits of Eternal Life. Glory, glory, glory forever, forever, and forever.”1

As we begin the new calendar year, we celebrate the Feast Day of one of the recognized saints in the Vincentian tradition, Elizabeth Ann Seton (née Bayley). She is the namesake of DePaul University’s residence hall, Seton Hall.

Born August 28, 1774, Elizabeth was a daughter of Colonial New York. Married to William Magee Seton, a Manhattan businessman, Elizabeth had five children and helped start the first charitable association managed by women in New York City, the Society for the Relief of Poor Widows with Small Children. However, Elizabeth was shortly to undergo great hardships. The Seton family business went bankrupt, and then, in 1803, her husband died while on a visit to Italy. It was there that Elizabeth was introduced to Catholicism, which she converted to in 1805. In 1809 Elizabeth moved to Emmitsburg, Maryland, where she founded the Sisters of Charity of St. Joseph’s, the first society of religious women established in the United States. Soon thereafter she became known as Mother Seton.

Mother Seton modeled the society’s foundation on the Daughters of Charity, begun two centuries earlier in France by Saint Vincent de Paul and Saint Louise de Marillac. She became a pioneer in Catholic education for young women from impoverished families. In establishing St. Joseph’s Academy and Free School, she made tuition-free education accessible for poor girls in rural Maryland. Mother Seton died at Emmitsburg two hundred years ago this week, January 4, 1821. Remembered for always seeking to know and do the will of God, in 1975, Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton became the first native-born North American canonized by the Catholic Church.

Today, as we contemplate the year ahead, and undoubtedly utter a sigh of relief as we leave 2020 behind us, how might the life of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton offer us some seeds of wisdom?

Clearly, Elizabeth endured trials, loss, and much suffering during her lifetime. One can only imagine the enormity of being widowed and left alone to raise five children at the young age of 29 and in the wake of the failure of the family business. What fears and concerns might Elizabeth have experienced in that moment as she confronted the precariousness of her family’s situation and the uncertainty of their future? How was she able to find enough light amidst the overwhelming shadows to begin to map a pathway ahead?

Elizabeth weathered such storms by relying on her endurance and faith, which clearly played an integral role in shaping her future path. Over time, Elizabeth was able to find her way out of the shadows through her mission to open new doors of opportunity for young women on the margins, doors that had previously remained firmly shut. Enabling access and attainment of quality education for those in need meant that their dreams could become reality. Elizabeth’s legacy continues today in a vast network of Setonian schools that share the spirit our Vincentian mission.

At the dawn of this New Year, as we continue to wrestle with the impact of the pandemic, where do you find glimmers of light amidst the shadows? What opportunities do these glimmers of light reveal to you about the pathway ahead? In what ways, might the darkness of last year be preparing you to embrace the promise of today?

1 4.55, Spiritual Journal to Cecilia Seton, August 10 to October 16, 1807, Collected Writings, 1:475.

 

Reflection by:    Siobhan O’Donoghue, Director of Faculty and Staff Engagement, Division of Mission and Ministry

For more on St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, see the following:

Look Up with Hope

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Over the past weeks I’ve been privy to the laments of many who are trying to remain hopeful as they or their dear ones face the fear of COVID, as they struggle in a virtual world, or as they grapple with growing angst over our country. While we are living through very trying times, we are reminded by Elizabeth Ann Seton, a woman who knew suffering and struggles well, that sometimes all we can do is “look up with hope.”1

We hang onto a hope that tomorrow will be a new day with new challenges. But, in these trying times, our hope is often that we will be able to carry on and live to see a better day. Guiding the way, we are privileged to turn to the wisdom of our Vincentian sister who reminded us that no matter how difficult things are, “hope travels on nor quits us till we die.”2

It is in this hope that we will find the courage and energy to meet the challenges before us. It is in trusting hope that we look forward to a new and better day. Look up, and hope.

1) Regina Bechtle, S.C., Judith Metz, S.C., eds., Elizabeth Bayley Seton: Collected Writings, 3 vols. (Hyde Park: New City Press, 2000-2006), 2:611.

2) Ibid., 1:7.

 

Reflection by:  Rev. Dr. Diane Dardón, Director, Religious Diversity and Pastoral Care, Division of Mission and Ministry

Nurturing the Mind and Spirit

bcicirel Elizabeth Seton, Mission Monday , , , , ,

Give some time in every day…

“…Give some time in every day if it is only half an hour to devotional reading—which is as necessary to the well ordering of the mind as the hand of the gardener to prevent the weeds destroying your favorite flower.” St. Elizabeth Ann Seton (1.171, To Anna Maria Seton, 1803, Collected Writings, p. 219.)

Like people trying to crowd onto the “L” during rush hour, sometimes our lives seem too busy to accommodate another demand placed upon them. Elizabeth Ann Seton—wife, mother, widow, nun—knew something of life’s harried pace. She also believed the most effective response to this was preserving time each day for nurturing the mind and spirit. For Mother Seton, this hallowed time was spent in devotional reading, a practice she encouraged her daughter Anna to cultivate. Like a well-tended garden that produces a beautiful flower, so too will a well-tended mind and spirit produce a similarly rich reward.

What do you do each day to care for your mind and spirit?  How have you experienced rewards from this special time? 

Reflection written by:           

Tom Judge, Chaplain for Faculty/Staff Engagement, Mission and Ministry