relationships

The Good Life

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Written By: Tom Judge, Chaplain, Faculty and Staff Engagement, Division of Mission and Ministry

This winter I’ve been doing some travelling, spending a lot of time behind the wheel. Usually when I find myself with long stretches in the car, I like to listen to a little music. My choices, not surprisingly, are most often songs from an artist or group I like or that have a fun memory associated with them, basically, tunes that make me feel good. But every once in a while, instead of listening to music, I feel the urge to try and improve my character. I had one of those aspirational moments on a recent Saturday while I was driving through the hills of western Pennsylvania. And, so, instead of cranking up The Greatest Hits of the ’80s, I googled a list of the most popular TED Talks ever, scanned the titles, and picked one that sounded as if it could be edifying.

The talk is called “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness.” [1] It’s about a research study from Harvard University that examines adult human development and has been taking place continuously over a span of more than eighty-five years. The study began in the late 1930s and followed 724 teenage males from the university and various, mostly lower socioeconomic, Boston neighborhoods. Every few years, researchers contacted their subjects, asked detailed questions about their lives, accessed their medical records, and even took DNA samples to amass a wealth of data on human health, success, and satisfaction. From all of this varied and complex information, one very clear finding stands out: good relationships are the largest single contributor to a happy and fulfilling life. As much as money, status, talent, or accomplishments may enhance our lives, give us pleasure, or help us meet our needs, according to the study, they do not impact our basic sense of joy and contentment as much as the quality of our connections with other human beings.

As I reflect on this TED Talk, with its simple, profound message, I sense a deep resonance between the results of the Harvard study and the lessons of our Vincentian heritage. Strong and loving relationships have always been at the heart of the mission Vincent and Louise began four centuries ago. From the forming of early communities to the carrying out of ministries to the poor, a premium was always placed on relating to the other as a true friend—with respect, gentleness, and charity—whether the other is a person one lives and works with, or a person one is in a position to serve. [2] The life-shaping importance of good relationships is wisdom made real for us from two distinct sources: a highly regarded study out of our nation’s oldest university, and the time-honored mission that guides our nation’s largest Catholic university. Different as these origins are, the essence of their lesson is the same: good relationships—true human connections—are the foundation of a happy and satisfying life.

What does that lesson mean for us today and how might we use this wisdom going forward? It seems to me that in 2025, DePaul is an energetic, life-giving, and ambitious university, albeit with plenty of challenges, existing in a world that has many reasons for hope amid distressing possibilities. Given these realities, there appears to be an acute need for us as individuals, as well as a community, to prioritize the fostering of good relationships in our lives and within our university. Zealously continuing to nurture DePaul as a place where true friendships and feelings of connectedness thrive will not only help us live out the spirit of our Vincentian mission, it will also provide the essential element of a happy life to all those who call DePaul home.

Reflection Questions:

  1. How would you describe the state of the relationships in your life? Would you like to develop new, meaningful relationships or renew older, more established ones? If so, what can you do to set this in motion? It is never too late!
  2. What can you, your department, or the university as a whole do to cultivate meaningful connections and life-giving relationships at DePaul? If you have an idea you would like to share, consider reaching out to someone on the Faculty and Staff Engagement team from the Division of Mission and Ministry. You may also contact Staff Council or Faculty Council.

Reflection by: Tom Judge, Chaplain, Faculty and Staff Engagement, Division of Mission and Ministry

[1] Robert Waldinger, “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness,” TED Talk, November 2015, 12 min., 31 sec. https://www.ted.com/talks/‌robert_waldinger_‌what_makes_‌a_good_life_‌lessons_‌from_the_longest_study_on_happiness/transcript?referrer=playlist-the_most_‌popular_ted_‌talks_‌of_all_time&autoplay=true. See also Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2023).

[2] For a recent Mission Monday reflection on the importance of friendship to our early Vincentian forebears, see Miranda Lukatch, “The Vincentian Roots of Friendship,” The Way of Wisdom (blog), February 10, 2025, https://‌blogs.‌depaul.edu/dmm/2025/02/07/the-vincentian-roots-of-friendship/.

The Vincentian Roots of Friendship

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Written By: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

What do Vincent de Paul, Louise de Marillac, Elizabeth Seton, and Frédéric Ozanam have in common? Some answers are obvious: they loved God deeply, they shared a mission, and they accomplished enormous good for the poor. But they shared commonalities not only in what they did but how they did it. All these dynamic Vincentian figures relied on the power of friendship. This could take a practical form, such as networking to found and support their organizations. But they also relied on it to fulfill personal needs—to mature their outlooks and nurture the incredible amount of spirit it took to accomplish their goals. Much of what we know about these figures comes from the letters they wrote, and, especially in Elizabeth’s and Frédéric’s cases, many of these were to their friends. [1] Therefore, it seems fitting that before Valentine’s Day, which many countries now celebrate as a friendship day, we consider the role of friendship in our Vincentian heritage, our DePaul community, and in our own daily lives.

Let’s put the importance of friendship within our own cultural context—both in broader American culture and in the culture that exists at DePaul. Back in 2023, the US surgeon general made headlines when he declared loneliness a public health epidemic. In early 2024, a poll from the American Psychiatric Association found that “30% of adults [said] they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while 10% [said] they are lonely every day. Younger people were more likely to experience these feelings, with 30% of Americans aged 18–34 saying they were lonely every day or several times a week.” [2] Considering the student population DePaul serves, these are essential statistics. A significant benefit of being a college graduate is an increased likelihood of having more friends, which provides cascading advantages over a lifetime. [3] This is a benefit we hope our students will derive from their time in our community. But forming and maintaining friendships in adulthood is so difficult that a specific branch of therapy, friendship therapy, has recently been created to address this need. Whole books are being written on how to make friendships work, and the New York Times even has a “friendship correspondent.” (That’s Anna Goldfarb, who has written an excellent book called Modern Friendship.)

Given the importance and difficulty of cultivating friendships, what can we learn from the Vincentian figures who excelled at this? They teach us that we should accept difficulty; just because their friendships were powerful doesn’t mean that they were easy to develop or maintain. When Louise first met Vincent, she felt accepting him as her spiritual director would be “repugnant.” Vincent did not want to be anyone’s director, and a curious two-year gap in an otherwise voluminous correspondence between them has led more than one scholar to believe there was a period of “coolness” in their relationship. [4] I highly recommend reading the published collections of the letters of the four Vincentian personages, which DePaul has made available online. [5] They show how affection within their relationships grew. There are two major threads running through all of them. First, these friendships were grounded not just in common interests but in a deep and common love (of God and of the poor) that was carried out in common enterprises. Second, the letters are supreme demonstrations of simplicity. Simplicity in the Vincentian sense usually means cultivating a deep sincerity, expressing a total alignment of our values, words, and behavior. But I think it could be extended to mean something else: profound openness about thoughts and feelings, in the sense of our internal states, in the sense of our affections, and in the sense of accepting the thoughts and feelings of others. Author and scholar Brené Brown has observed that the word courage “originally meant ‘to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’” [6] This is what we see happening in the lives and letters of our Vincentian forebears. They had the courage to practice simplicity.

So, Vincentian wisdom shows us that the best friendships are based on shared values and what might be called applied simplicity. We at DePaul have a particularly promising chance to strengthen relationships with those around us based on this wisdom. We are a community “gathered together for the sake of a mission,” so we know it is likely that others here share at least some of our deepest values. And if we practice simplicity, if we have the courage to make first moves and to be (appropriately) persistent, if we are open about what is in our hearts, then in time we can build the same types of friendships that sustained our Vincentian exemplars.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Who are the people who seem the likeliest partners in friendships for you? Are these people you need to reach out to, or are they people you already know? Where are the existing opportunities to deepen these relationships, and what are some ways you can create more?
  2. How have your friendships with colleagues at DePaul inspired and nurtured you? Is there anything you would like to accomplish as a joint effort with your friends?

Reflection by: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

[1] Numerous articles have been written on the role of friendship in these Vincentians’ lives. In addition to those cited in other footnotes in this article, some of the best are Margaret J. Kelly, D.C., “The Relationship of Saint Vincent and Saint Louise from Her Perspective,” Vincentian Heritage 11:1 (1990): 77–114. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol11/iss1/6; Wendy M. Wright, “Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton and the Art of Embodied Presence,” Vincentian Heritage 18:2 (1997): 249–60. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol18/iss2/9; Judith Metz, S.C., “The Key Role of Friendship in the Life of Elizabeth Bayley Seton,” Vincentian Heritage 29:1 (2009): 8–23. Available at: https://‌‌via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol29/iss1/2; and Frederick J. Easterly, C.M., “Frédérick Ozanam, A Layman For Now,” Vincentian Heritage 4:2 (1983): 140–71. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol4/iss2/4. If you visit Vincentian Heritage’s website at https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/, use “friend” as a search term to get results for many more.

[2] American Psychiatric Association, “New APA Poll: One in Three Americans Feels Lonely Every Week,” January 30, 2024, https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/news-releases/new-apa-poll-one-in-three-americans-feels-lonely-e.

[3] Daniel A. Cox, “The College Connection: The Education Divide in American Social and Community Life,” Survey Center on American Life, December 13, 2021, https://‌www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-college-connection-the-education-divide-in-american-social-and-community-life/.

[4] There’s some ambiguity about whether Louise mentions this repugnance specifically about Vincent as a person or just about changing directors in general. Louise de Marillac, document A.2, “Light,” n.d., Spiritual Writings, 1. Available online at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/ldm/; Hugh O’Donnell, C.M., “The Relationship of Saint Vincent and Saint Louise from His Perspective: A Personal and Theological Inquiry,” Vincentian Heritage 11:1 (1990): 62. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol11/iss1/5; Loretto Gettemeir, D.C., “Louise: A Life in Her Own Words,” Vincentian Heritage 12:2 (1991): 111. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol12/iss2/2/; see also O’Donnell, “Relationship of Saint Vincent and Saint Louise from His Perspective,” 69.

[5] For Vincent’s letters, see: https://via.library.depaul.edu/coste_en/. For Louise’s, see: https://via.library.depaul.edu/ldmlcd/. For Elizabeth’s, see: https://via.library.depaul.edu/seton_lcd/, and for Frédéric’s, see: https://via.library.depaul.edu/ozanam_law/.

[6] Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (Hazelden, 2010), 12.

Wrestling with God

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Exactly eighteen years ago, on this day, December 9th, I became the first woman in my family to chant publicly from the Torah. I still remember the opening words like a catchy song.

In Vayishlach, the Torah portion for this week, there are two brothers—twins—Jacob and Esau, who never really get along. One is smooth, one is hairy. One is scheming, one is brusque. In fact, they wrestle together in the womb. Jacob tricks his nearly blind father into giving him the blessing that belongs to Esau as the firstborn. The brothers’ relationship is a disaster from the get-go.

Jacob eventually settles in Canaan, with status, material wealth, and many offspring. Perhaps out of fear, perhaps because he truly misses his brother (the Torah often lets us infer emotional subtext), Jacob invites Esau to reconcile with him. The night before Esau’s arrival, Jacob finds himself alone, wrestling with an angel.

Hold up. Wrestling with an angel?

Was he hallucinating? Was he having a bad case of sleep paralysis?

In the Torah, it says that Jacob came panim-el-panim (Hebrew for “face-to-face”) with God.

What does it mean to come face-to-face with God? When was the last time you felt God’s presence? Was it during a moment of tranquility, connection, solitude, despair? Do you ever wrestle with God? Perhaps with the concept of God itself?

There are, of course, many interpretations, from rabbis and scholars, about what Jacob endured that night. But here’s mine: Jacob, alone in the dark, finally faces himself. He wrestles with his conscience. He admits to himself that he has, in some way, wronged his brother.

One of the Vincentian values we espouse at DePaul is humility. And not just humility when it comes to our successes or material possessions, but humility in the context of our personal and communal relationships. Saint Vincent de Paul writes, “You must ask God to give you power to fight against the sin of pride which is your greatest enemy—the root of all that is evil, and the failure of all that is good.”[1]

“Sin” and “failure” are charged words that don’t always sit well with me. But Saint Vincent had a good point. Holding onto our pride—nursing past resentments, harboring the belief that we are always right—detracts from our ability to empathize and see the humanity in those who hold different perspectives from us.

It’s a vicious cycle: when we can’t see the humanity in others, it’s hard for others to see the humanity in us.

The morning after Jacob wrestles with God, Esau approaches him in the desert, and, in an unexpected turn of events, forgives him. The brothers fall into one another’s arms, weeping. In a deep act of humility, Esau declines the many gifts Jacob offers him, but Jacob insists, telling his brother that seeing his face is like “seeing the face of God.”[2]

Panim-el-panim. Face-to-face. We can only really glimpse the divine in others when we come face-to-face with ourselves. Because we only exist in relationship. Never alone. And there are always angels.

Reflection Questions

  1. When was the last time you came face-to-face with someone who deeply disagreed with you?
  2. When was the last time you came face-to-face with yourself?

Reflection by: Kayla Schneider-Smith, Assistant Director, Religious Diversity & Pastoral Care and Jewish Life Chaplain

 

[1] “St. Vincent de Paul—You Must Ask God to Give You Power to Fight Against the Sin of Pride,” Catholic Digest Magazine, 14 October 2021, https://www.catholicdigest.com/from-the-magazine/quiet-moment/‌st vincent-depaul-you-must ask-god-to-give-you-power-to-fight-against-the-sin-of-pride/.

[2] Genesis 33:10, The Contemporary Torah (Jewish Publication Society, 2006), https://‌www.‌sefaria.‌org/‌Genesis.33.11?lang=bi&aliyot=0.

The Dignity of Help

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Written by: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

Photograph by Akhil Nath.

Our mission here at DePaul focuses on helping others, especially those who have been historically underserved—the poor and the marginalized. It’s a wonderful mission, a noble mission. But I wonder how many of us also need help, and if we do, whether we are able to ask for it. Our own situations may not be as serious as those our mission calls us to aid, and we may not need advocacy or material support. But it’s likely that we need other things—assistance with work projects, perhaps, or, in our personal lives, help with caregiving, or managing burnout, depression, or grief. “Let me know how I can help,” we say when others are in trouble. But when we’re on the receiving end of such offers, we often don’t take people up on them.

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, professor and social worker Brené Brown writes, “One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on ‘going it alone.’ Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone.” She continues, “Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” Brown argues that it’s a mistake to “deriv[e] self-worth from never needing help and always offering it.” [1]

In reading Brown’s words, I was struck by how well they connect with the philosophy of the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul. Its founder, Frédéric Ozanam, once said that help “humiliates when there is no reciprocity” and “becomes honorable because it may become mutual.” [2] Ozanam and Brown argue that help has a spiritual value beyond what is provided by immediate assistance. It allows people to connect with each other (and, Ozanam would say, with God) in a profound and meaningful way. Because of this, there is as much dignity in asking for help as there is in receiving it. It’s a lesson that runs counter to our cultural expectations, but it’s an important one to remember and internalize. The next time we may be feeling overwhelmed or alone, we should consider how we might challenge ourselves to more readily ask for help.

Reflection Questions:

Is there anything that you need help with? Whom could you ask for help, and how do you think they might respond?

Can you think of situations in the past where someone has asked you for help? How did you feel about the request? Did it make you feel more connected to that person?

Reflection by: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

[1] Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (Hazelden, 2010), 20.

[2] Quoted in Raymond L. Sickinger, “Frédéric Ozanam: Systemic Thinking, and Systemic Change,” Vincentian Heritage 32:1 (2014): n.p. Available online at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol32/iss1/4/.

Beyond Polarization: Seeing the God in All of Us

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I am writing this reflection in September 2024, well before Election Day, but still in the thick of American political passion. Regardless of the election’s outcome, it’s unlikely that the result will end the sense of overall polarization in our country caused by a myriad of issues, polarization that has been evident even in our own DePaul community over the past year. No matter which candidate people support, it sometimes seems difficult to believe that those who support the opposing candidate might share a similar sense of justice or morality. And yet this very feeling makes it all the more important for us to believe that they do. But why is this?

One reason is because it seems to be true. In an article for Time, journalist Karl Vick reports the results of several studies of American attitudes and how those translate into politics. He writes that in January 2021, a study surveying 2,000 people across the political spectrum asked them to consider fifty-five separate goals that the nation should have, and to rank them according to what was important to them personally and according to how important they believed other people thought they were. The results were surprising. For instance, the goal to “successfully address climate change,” was the third highest priority for the survey participants themselves, but these respondents ranked it thirty-third in their perception of its importance for other people. As Vick writes, “no one thought their fellow Americans saw climate as the high-priority item nearly everyone actually considered it to be.” This study, the American Aspirations Index, “found ‘stunning agreement’ on national goals across every segment of the U.S. population, including, to a significant extent, among those who voted for Donald Trump and those who voted for Joe Biden.” The polarization we have been hearing about on the news is something one scholar calls “learned divisiveness,” which is almost a self-fulfilling prophecy: people believe there’s more division than actually exists, and that, in turn, fuels further division. We would do well to keep this in mind before we vilify those who we believe think differently from us. [1]

Goodness transcends opposing viewpoints; justice is more than politics. We don’t have to look far into our Vincentian heritage to find reinforcement for this lesson. For example, Frédéric Ozanam, the key founder of the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul, knew it well. The nineteenth-century France he lived in was also bitterly divided into partisan groups. But he never lost sight of what this conflict was really about. He wrote:

“For, if the question which disturbs the world around us today is neither a question of political modalities, but a social question; if it is the struggle between those who have nothing and those who have too much … our duty to ourselves as Christians is to throw ourselves between these two irreconcilable enemies … to make equality as operative as is possible among men; to make voluntary community replace imposition and brute force; to make charity accomplish what justice alone cannot do.” [2]

If we are to work together to better our society, we must be prepared to approach each other with tolerance, at least. Vincent de Paul would go one step further: he would have us approach one another with love, looking for the goodness—and, indeed, the God—that exists in all of us. As he once said, “I have to love my neighbor as the image of God and the object of His Love.” [3] He pointed out that it’s easy to show respect to people we love and who think like us. But he asked,

“Have we felt less esteem and affection for certain persons? Do we not, from time to time, allow thoughts of this more or less? If that’s the case, we don’t have that charity which dismisses the first feelings of contempt and the seed of aversion; for, if we had that divine virtue, which is a participation of the Sun of Justice, it would dispel the mists of our corruption and make us see what’s good and beautiful in our neighbor in order to honor and cherish him for them.” [4]

So, as our future unfolds, let us follow one more of Vincent’s injunctions and “continue to offer one another to God and to love each other in Our Lord, as He has loved us.” [5]

Reflection Questions:

Has the polarization that seemingly permeates our society affected your view of others? How so? What are some ways you could look for the good in those with opposing viewpoints?

Reflection by: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

[1] All quotations in this paragraph are taken from Karl Vick, “The Growing Evidence That Americans Are Less Divided Than You May Think,” Time, July 2, 2024, https://time.com/6990721/us-politics-polarization-myth.

[2] Quoted in Craig B. Mousin, “Frédéric Ozanam―Beneficent Deserter: Mediating the Chasm of Income Inequality through Liberty, Equality, and Fraternity,” Vincentian Heritage 30:1 (2010): 62. Available online at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol30/iss1/4/.

[3] Conference 207, “Charity (Common Rules, Chap. 2, Art. 12),” May 30, 1659, CCD, 12:217. Available online at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vincentian_ebooks/36/.

[4] Ibid.

[5] Letter 1663, “To Nicolas Guillot, in Warsaw,” October 10, 1653, CCD, 5:28. Available online at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vincentian_ebooks/30/.

St. Vincent de Paul Heritage Week: What Is the Vincentian Way?

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Happy St. Vincent de Paul Heritage Week!

Each year on September 27th, the Vincentian Family and the Catholic Church worldwide celebrate the Feast Day of St. Vincent de Paul. Here at DePaul University, the Division of Mission and Ministry (DMM) typically builds a week of events connected to the Feast Day. This year, these include a Loop Campus Luncheon on Wednesday, a Friday Prayer Breakfast, Feast Day Masses at each campus with lunch included, and the always popular Vinny Fest! This year we have added an interfaith dialogue-oriented event falling on Monday, September 23rd, entitled “In To Light” and a Sustainability Network Weaving event on Wednesday. We hope you will RSVP and join us for one or more of these events during this week!

Photo montage, Vincent de Paul, science students and faculty

This year, during St. Vincent de Paul Heritage Week, I’d like to invite the university community to reflect on the question, “What is the Vincentian way?” In other words, what does the adjective “Vincentian” mean for the way you go about your life and work specifically at DePaul (rather than how you might at another higher ed institution, for example)? What do you do differently because you are at DePaul, where we seek to put our Vincentian mission into practice?

One important question in this conversation is whether and how any understanding of the adjective “Vincentian” connects back authentically and substantively to our founder and the larger Vincentian family, which grew from his life example and work. Here are a few ideas offered to initiate a conversation about what defines a Vincentian way:

  1. Reflection on experience: Since 2002, the Division of Mission and Ministry’s (DMM) Vincentian Community Service and Formation Office (VSFO) team has practiced a model of service, reflection, and community engagement with students. The model they use is called “VIA,” an acronym for “Vincentians in Action.” You may recognize that the word “VIA” can be translated as “the way,” and it is derived from the work of Theodore Weisner, C.M. Weisner writes from a historical and theological perspective as a Christian, Catholic, Vincentian priest, and also the perspective of Vincent de Paul, yet the insights he offers have found resonance with students from many diverse religious and secular worldviews for the past two decades.

Weisner suggests three important dimensions of a process of transformation (or conversion) rooted in attending carefully to reality and reflecting on our experiences and encounters in the context of service:

  • the way of awareness and appreciation
  • the way of dialogue
  • the way of solidarity

This approach offers a valuable contribution to what might be considered a Vincentian way. Begin with awareness and appreciation. Enter more deeply into relationship through dialogue. Recognize our fundamental interdependence and stand and walk together with others in solidarity.

2.  Openness to “encountering God” through our relationships: Inherent in Weisner’s work is a focus on “encountering God” in our relationships. This focus needs to be further unpacked to understand how it is a core part of a Vincentian way. Ultimately, it is about recognizing that there is much more going on in our experiences and relationships than a transactional or superficial exchange. Those who are not theists might participate in this encounter through honoring the deep meaning and wisdom revealed through relationships and life experience.

    • First, Vincent de Paul clearly understood God’s “Providence” to be present concretely in the lived experiences of our lives. Therefore, making intentional space to reflect together, or to “look again” at how God, or a deeper meaning, might be present in those experiences is an important part of a Vincentian way of proceeding. Vincent was careful to emphasize to his followers that they focus not on what they were doing for themselves, so much as on what God was doing in and through their experiences and encounters. He suggested that “wisdom consists in following Providence step by step” and “the things of God come about by themselves,” not (only) through human effort. [1] Careful attention to the presence and movement of Providence, or the deeper meaning inherent in the events and relationships in our lives, is another important dimension of any approach we might deem to be the Vincentian way.
    • Second, another aspect of a Vincentian way that emerges from Weisner’s work is a strong emphasis on relationships, or a relational approach to transformation. While we often emphasize Vincent’s pragmatism or what we interpret through our more contemporary language to be a commitment to social justice, it is Vincent’s relational approach to working for social or systemic change that I would suggest is distinctly characteristic of a Vincentian way. A strong case can be made that Vincent experienced transformation primarily through relationships with a broad range of people at all levels of society.
    • A third point of emphasis that follows from Weisner’s work is that Vincent clearly understood encounters or relationships with those most abandoned in society as central to his mission. It was in these relationships, he believed, that God would be encountered, and transformation would happen. He understood that recognizing and responding with compassion to the spiritual and physical needs of the impoverished was at the very heart of what he was called to address.

3. Simplicity: To further deepen the emphasis on Vincent’s relational approach, we have come to understand figuratively that he “always wore the same cloak,” regardless of who he was with, whether someone begging in the streets or the most powerful people in the country. To me, this means he valued simplicity and transparency, that is, remaining focused on what was most important and being direct and straightforward, rather than overly complicated or pretentious. It meant not putting on airs with the well-to-do, pretending to be who he was not, or treating them any differently than he did the poorest of the poor, always emphasizing the sacred dignity of the other. Vincent was known to have said that “simplicity is the virtue I love the most and to which, I think, I pay the most attention in my actions.” [2] How often do we get bogged down on the complexity of things and lose touch with the simple essence of who we are called to be, or the most straightforward solution to an issue? This call to simplicity—to be honest, direct, humble, straightforward—is, I believe, a key element of a Vincentian way.

4.  An Asset-Based Approach: DePaul’s Steans Center for Community-Based Service Learning, in partnership with the Asset-Based Community Development Institute (ABCDI) housed there, emphasizes and practices another characteristic dimension of a Vincentian way, flowing naturally from the previous emphases above: an asset-based approach. If we recognize, as Vincent did, the presence of Providence in our life events and relationships, then we have our eyes open for what is already present. We trust in what has already been given or is yet unrecognized more than focusing our energies on what is lacking, which is a deficit-minded approach. Vincent de Paul was a master at recognizing and developing the talent and potential in others while encouraging and empowering them to orient it for good. This is evident in his recognition of the untapped potential of the rural poor, such as the classic example of Marguerite Naseau. The Steans Center, ABCDI, and DePaul’s Council on Community Engagement use an asset-based approach to center the strengths and leadership of those in the communities with whom they engage, thus counteracting a deficit-based approach that tends to be imperious rather than empowering.

5.  Motivated by Love: One final characteristic that is integral to a Vincentian way is that of charity (caritas, love). Because Vincent de Paul was known as the “apostle of charity,” I use this word, even though it is often mischaracterized today, particularly as a contrast to social justice. Rather, I believe, charity is an affective and relational dimension essential to social justice, particularly when we speak of addressing the needs of society’s most abandoned and forgotten. Love is also important in the field of education, often reflected in one’s investment in a subject of learning, as well as in our motivations for teaching and educating. Furthermore, learning to see the other through a “charitable” or appreciative lens is essential to the bridge-building needed in communities harmed by antagonistic conflict.

I hope these five ideas can get the conversation started. Please share your thoughts on these questions by adding a comment below or sharing with others this week when you attend Heritage Week events!

Reflection/Discussion Questions:

  • How would you describe a Vincentian way of engaging in service, in your work, or in your life and relationships?
  • How might you more intentionally integrate a Vincentian way into your approach to your work and life at DePaul?

Reflection by: Mark Laboe, Interim VP for Mission and Ministry

[1] Letter 720, “To Bernard Codoing, Superior, in Rome,” August 6, 1644, CCD, 2:521.

[2] Letter 188, “To François du Coudray, in Rome,” n.d., CCD, 1:265.

Dreams, Visions and Inspiration

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Harriet Tubman

In sacred texts and in artistic narrative of all types, I have long been struck by the role and nature of dreams and visions. [1] We refer to what we experience while asleep as “dreams,” but we also refer to the conscious visions and hopes we have for the future with the same word. [2] In other languages or cultural discourse this overlap is intensified in that the same word can refer to visions which occur while asleep, awake, or somewhere in-between. In Muslim tradition this can be captured by (among others) the Arabic word ru’ya. In the Irish language and literary tradition there is the concept of the aisling [3] Whether drawing from the conscious, the subconscious, or from some combination of the two, these are ways in which our imagination grapples with envisioning a future different than the present. In many spiritual traditions, these visions are understood to be forms of communication with the Divine, and to reflect realities which are deeper than those of the material world alone. [4] A most famous example of this in our Vincentian tradition is the lumière experience of Saint Louise de Marillac. [5]  

In the recently published Night Flyer: Harriet Tubman and the Faith Dreams of a Free People, Tiya Miles writes movingly about the dream visions of the famous abolitionist and activist. [6] Drawing from the historical evidence we have about Tubman’s visions and attempting to understand them in the context of her life experiences and worldview, Miles traces the evolution of those dreams. Starting from nightmarish visions of being chased by white men on horseback, which communicated to her the notion that she must prepare to get away, the visions did not stop. They eventually would include a vision of a ‘promised land’ to which she should flee, although for a long time she would often not make it. Finally, Tubman had dreams of being a bird flying above the landscape, being assisted to make it across the boundary by angelic figures dressed in white. Tubman understood these to be divine directives and promises of support, both human and otherworldly, in her tasks of pursuing liberation for herself and for others. 

The Prophet Muhammad [7] also said that his experiences of revelation began in dreams. Often after the dawn prayer, he would ask his companions if any of them had seen a good dream. This is undoubtedly a very intimate form of sharing, to share our dreams in whatever sense of the word, with others. In that sense it is like sincerely praying for others. Such intimacy requires great trust. In one narration, the Prophet said that precious good dreams should only be shared with those “whom one loves.” [8] As a community with a shared vision of the future, one which has room for the dreams of many different and diverse individuals, we might find these a powerful inspiration in times of trial and difficulty.  

The poet William Butler Yeats noted, “In Dreams Begin Responsibility.” [9] As we see with Louise, and with Harriet Tubman, having a dream was not a substitute for hard and uncomfortable work. Rather, a dream was what provided the inspiration and faith to engage in such work. As we begin a new year in a world always filled with great brokenness and with great potential for good, let us renew our connection to what inspires us and gives us hope. Let us renew our connections with this community.  

For Reflection:  

What are your dreams (waking or sleeping) as we begin a new academic year? What inspires you or gives you the faith to do the things which are hard or uncomfortable in your work? What other roles might dreams or intuitions/feelings play in terms of guidance? 

Reflection by: Abdul–Malik Ryan, Assistant Director, Religious Diversity and Pastoral Care. 

[1] I also referred to this in a previous reflection: https://blogs.depaul.edu/dmm/2023/02/07/busy-persons-retreat-day-two-tuesday-february-7/.

[2] Such as when DePaul’s athletics department encourages us to “Dream Big,” see: https://‌depaul‌blue‌demons.‌‌‌com/feature/strategic-plan.

[3] For more on this see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aisling.

[4] Perhaps most famously in the story of Joseph, the son of Jacob (peace be upon him) in Genesis, and in the Qur’an.

[5] Earlier this year, Abigail Rampone shared this reflection on Louise’s lumière experience: https://‌blogs.‌depaul.‌edu/‌dmm/2024/05/02/doubt-certainty-and-louises-lumiere/.

[6] For more on this new book, see: https://tiyamiles.com/books/night-flyer-harriet-tubman-and-the-faith-dreams-of-a-free-people/.

[7] Peace Be Upon Him and all the Prophets of God.

[8] 91 Interpretation of Dreams, Sunnah.com, at: https://sunnah.com/bukhari:7044.

[9] William Butler Yeats, “Responsibilities,” January 1914, see: https://sacred-texts.‌com/‌neu/‌yeats/‌lpy/‌lpy080.‌htm.

Showing up in a Time of Digital Distance

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As has been the case during many former Lenten seasons, this year several groups of DePaul faculty and staff met on Zoom during a six-week period to participate in faith-sharing groups. Even though many of the group members had never before met, their time invited them to get to know colleagues on a much deeper level than activities of the workplace typically allow. During these sessions, we shared about the events of our lives in light of our faith commitments, and we prayed together as a community gathered together for the sake of a rich mission. While we may have started out as strangers, we soon became spiritual companions who travelled together on a unique journey, opening up about our lives and supporting each other during an intimate and sacred moment in time.

In many ways, this simple commitment to meet together and to share honestly aligned with the invocation of Saint Vincent, centuries before, to model truthful simplicity. Writing to a fellow priest, Vincent had implored, “Have the simplicity of a dove. This means giving a straightforward opinion about things in the way we honestly see them, without needless reservations. It also means doing things without any double-dealing or manipulation, our intention being focused solely on God.”[1] After all, “everyone loves simple, candid people, who don’t use subtleties or tricks, who are straightforward and speak sincerely, with the result that whatever they say comes from their heart.… they’re respected … esteemed by all.[2]”

Last week’s Mission Monday invited us to reflect on our human need to be in community and to feel cared for in good times and in bad. As I reflect upon what happened for me this Lenten season, our faith-sharing groups made manifest the best of “Take Care DePaul.” We showed up for one another. We listened and supported each other. At times, we gently challenged each other. We shared our truths, and we made meaning together. We trusted one another. And, if members couldn’t attend, we prayed for them and for the larger DePaul community. It was a form of spiritual accompaniment, a way of reminding each other that we matter, and the events of our lives matter. In a world that is so often defined by digital distance, this weekly coming together reminded us that we were not alone.

At its best, DePaul is a community that cares, and caring for the other is an integral part of working at a Vincentian university. Moreover, it is part of what it means to be human and is essential for human flourishing.

There are many experiences that may represent for us the best of DePaul. In the midst of the winter quarter, these groups were just one small manifestation of such an experience. They offered an opportunity to come together and listen to each other in a supportive environment of peers. This meant that for just a brief moment in time, we were able to share what was in our hearts and feel heard. It offered an opportunity to care and, in a spirit of mutuality, to experience being cared for by trusted peers. Engaging in such meaningful experiences has the potential to remind us that another world is possible, a world that is more caring and compassionate, in which all may thrive.

Reflection Questions

How might you/we create more experiences with colleagues that allow for deeper interpersonal sharing, support, and connection?

Think of a moment when you felt you were particularly well cared for at DePaul. Who showed up for you at that time? How have you paid this moment forward? What did that feel like?

Recall a time when you spoke the truth in the face of your own fears. What do you remember of this moment? What did you learn from it?

Reflection by: Siobhan O’Donoghue, PhD, Director of Faculty and Staff Engagement, Division of Mission and Ministry

[1] Constitutions and Statutes of the Congregation of the Mission, English trans. (Rome: General Curia of the Congregation of the Mission, 1989), 109.

[2] Pierre Coste, C.M., ed., Vincent de Paul: Correspondence, Conferences, Documents, ed. and trans. Jacqueline Kilar, D.C. et al., 14 vols. (New York: New City Press, 1985-2008), 12:142.

Inspiration for Sincere Dialogue in Difficult Times

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Martin Luther King, Jr., meets with President Lyndon B. Johnson
Lyndon B. Johnson Library, Public Domain

“We live at a time when the world is full of violence, oppression and conflict.” “We live in a time of deep division in our own country.” Perhaps both these statements are true of many times, maybe even all times, but they are certainly true of this one. The communication technologies of our period also can serve to make these realities seem closer to us or harder for many of us to escape, even if we’d like to.

One of the reasons we honor and celebrate certain special individuals is because we hope that in their lives, we can find wisdom and inspiration for our own times. In the span of a few weeks at the beginning of the year, we mark the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr., the celebration of Foundation Day (the commemoration of the start of the Vincentian Mission), and the birthday of Abraham Lincoln. So much could be said about each of these days and the men and the movements they commemorate. Today, let’s consider what they might suggest to us about relationship and dialogue in difficult times.

In reading the highly acclaimed new biography of Dr. King by Jonathan Eig (who happens to live near DePaul’s Lincoln Park campus), I was struck by King’s relationship with President Lyndon B. Johnson. Johnson reached out to King three days after the assassination of President Kennedy seeking his assistance.[1] Johnson was a highly skilled political operator and said he was committed to civil rights but he knew he needed the help of King, who was then at the height of his mainstream popularity and success. They remained in close contact although neither publicized their dialogue, and both were wary of the other. (In fact, both knew that elements of the federal government were spying on King and seeking to destroy him.) King wept after watching Johnson’s powerful address to Congress after the civil rights movement was met with violence in Selma (and after Johnson had met in the White House with Alabama’s segregationist governor George Wallace).[2] The address called Congress and the nation to pass the Voting Rights Act. Despite what they were able to accomplish in this arena, as Johnson continued to escalate the Vietnam War, King would not remain silent, despite the advice of many who considered themselves his allies in the movement.[3]

In his famous “Letter from a Birmingham Jail,” King stressed the importance of dialogue and negotiations (along with research to identify injustices and to engage in self-purification). Yet King rejected the idea that direct action was in opposition to dialogue and negotiations. King argued that while destructive violence must always be opposed, the constructive tension created by nonviolent direct action was often necessary to force those in power to engage in dialogue and negotiations with the marginalized. King said that while he initially disliked being the label of extremist, he now embraced the need for “creative extremists” for love, truth, and justice.[4]

While the time and place of Vincent was not one of direct action or of democracy, I would argue that Vincent and the organizations he founded relied not only on service, but also on creative calls through words and actions for those in power to accept their responsibility for those on the margins. The call for the powerful in France to live up to the Christian example and not ignore those in poverty stood in stark contrast to the injustices of French society. When Vincent was transformed from a smart young man who was motivated to make a better life for himself to one utterly committed to serving God and those living in poverty, he did not cut off relationships with the elite and powerful in society. Instead, he continued to cultivate them with the aim of using those relationships to fulfill his mission.

I have also been reading a compelling recent book on Abraham Lincoln by NPR’s Steve Inskeep.[5] While Lincoln, like King, is remembered for his powerful oratory, this book focuses on Lincoln’s relationships and dialogues. Each chapter focuses on a different account of encounters between Lincoln and another person who came from a different background than him and with whom he had a significant disagreement. What stands out in each encounter is Lincoln’s willingness to engage with those with whom he disagreed. The results of the dialogue were rarely about one convincing the other, but Lincoln used the dialogues to understand others better. He was a quintessential politician and believer in democracy, and he could use his understanding of the others’ interests to define priorities and create coalitions to accomplish his most important goals. Although as a politician Lincoln would often choose to remain strategically silent as part of this process, Inskeep’s book takes its title from something Lincoln wrote in a letter to his close friend Joshua Speed. Speed came from a slaveholding family and Lincoln “chided [him] for admitting the “abstract wrong” of slavery but failing to act accordingly.”[6] Still, Lincoln remained in relationship with Speed, signing off the letter with “your friend forever.”[7]

We all have different roles to play in life and in the university. Just as the roles and perspectives of a prophetic preacher leading a movement for social change, a politician in an era of civil war, and a saintly founder of a religious order in an absolute monarchy may differ greatly, we may see our own roles differently based on our positions, personalities, or other commitments. I see in each of these examples a call to remain in dialogue and relationship with others, even those with whom I may have profound differences or disagreements. I have seen a call to sincerity in that dialogue which means a willingness to express difficult truths and to listen to them. Finally, I appreciate the role that constructive, creative tension can play in individual and communal transformation when we are willing to channel that tension into dialogue and negotiation.

I am inspired by the people and spaces in the university that help form students to engage in these types of difficult, sincere ongoing dialogues. Among those with which I am most familiar are the Interfaith Scholars program and the Grace School of Applied Diplomacy, but I know there are many others. What are the ways in which you think DePaul engages these questions best and what are ways in which we might be able to do better?

REFLECTION BY: Abdul-Malik Ryan, Muslim Chaplain and Assistant Director, Office of Religious Diversity, Division of Mission and Ministry.

[1] Jonathan Eig, King: A Life (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2023), 351.

[2] Ibid., 435.

[3] Ibid., 514–30.

[4] See Martin Luther King, Jr., “Letter from a Birmingham Jail,” August 1963, https://www.csuchico.edu/iege/_assets/documents/susi-letter-from-birmingham-jail.pdf.

[5] Steve Inskeep, Differ We Must: How Lincoln Succeeded in a Divided America (New York: Penguin Press, 2023).

[6] Ibid., xiv-xv.

[7] Ibid., xv.

Entering into the Heart of Another

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“Another effect of charity is to rejoice with those who rejoice. It causes us to enter into their joy.” – Vincent de Paul [1]

Recently, I spent time in the bleachers of Sullivan Athletic Center, cheering on our women’s volleyball team as they faced the Huskies of Northern Illinois. Though I don’t really understand the finer points of the game, I love the intensity, pace, and athletic prowess that are fundamental to volleyball. And, I have tremendous admiration for the competitiveness and teamwork that are so critical to any sport at the elite collegiate level.

There is something else I love about volleyball: the behavior of the players on the court after each point. In those moments, if DePaul wins the rally with a spike or block or great serve, the players quickly gather in something resembling a group hug, rejoicing with the one who made the winning play and celebrating the moment before resuming the set. If DePaul loses the point, the response is very similar— a brief group huddle that is not celebratory but instead seems to communicate support to the player who may have missed a shot and also helps the team refocus for the next point. In both scenarios, despite the different outcomes, players are empathizing with one another. In those few moments, they are strengthening their bonds as teammates and pushing themselves to work together to win the next point and, ultimately, the match.

This simple demonstration of unity and devotion by our volleyball players seems to resonate with the quote that inspired today’s reflection. In the conference from which this quote is taken, Vincent de Paul is addressing members of the still-developing Congregation of the Mission (the Vincentian priests). He is urging them, for the sake of their mission’s ultimate success and sustainability, to ground their communities in virtue, particularly the virtue of charity (or what we might call today love). Vincent believed that the presence of a generous amount of charity within a community would lead to its members being able to “enter in” to the hearts of one another, to rejoice with those members who rejoice and grieve with those who are saddened. In other words, charity would create a community where there is genuine empathy, ever-present support, and abundant compassion among its members for one another.

When I have the privilege of visiting with university colleagues and learning what they value most about being at DePaul, their answers are almost always animated by their gratitude for our community. They speak of the affection they feel for treasured coworkers who are also good friends, the admiration they have for talented colleagues who diligently work on behalf of students, the enjoyment they take at campus-wide events that unite us in celebration, ritual or, simply, fun. On a large-scale and in small, personal ways—and even on a volleyball court—evidence abounds that DePaul, at its best, is a living example of the community grounded in love that Vincent de Paul set out to establish.

But, being a place where the lived norms are empathy, support, and compassion is not easy to achieve or maintain, nor does it automatically result from having a Vincentian identity. To be a community of charity needs to be made a priority both institutionally and individually. Then, it must be backed up by commitment, hard work, humility, equity, shared goals, cordial relationships, placing the good of the whole over that of the individual, and so forth. Although the challenges are real, DePaul has a history of being this type of loving community and a mission that supports this going forward.

Reflection Questions:

  • Are there people you know at DePaul who have recently accomplished something of note or celebrated a joyful experience? Or, alternatively, suffered a loss or are going through a particular struggle?  Consider reaching out to these people to offer congratulations and celebration or support and sympathy.
  • Where have you witnessed examples – either large or small – of empathy, support or compassion that help to make DePaul a more caring community? How might you be called to contribute to or build upon these examples?

Reflection by: Tom Judge, Assistant Director and Chaplain, Faculty and Staff Engagement, Division of Mission and Ministry

[1] Conference 207, “Charity (Common Rules, Chap. II, Art. 12),” May 30, 1659, CCD, 12:222. Available online at https://via.library.depaul.edu/vincentian_ebooks/36/.