discernment

The Call of Uncertainty

Cassandra Lobo Mission and Ministry, Mission Monday , , , , ,

Written By: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash

Now that it is spring and we are amid graduation season, much advice will be given to those who are matriculating, particularly younger students. At this time of year, especially for graduating college students who are starting their careers, there’s an emphasis on forging ahead. For graduating high school students planning to attend college, picking a major is a looming decision, something that they may have already started working on when choosing a school. Graduation speakers talk a lot about having confidence and being adventurous, and they usually frame it in positive terms about how exciting it is to have all these choices ahead. What they often don’t talk about is how to handle the restlessness and discomfort that comes with uncertainty. It’s an issue that affects more than just the graduates—it can also apply to those sitting in the audience: the graduates’ parents and their parents’ peers who may also be at a fork in the road as they face empty nests and the challenges of middle age. These audience members might be looking back at this time in their own lives when it seemed like they had everything before them. They might desire to recapture that feeling and sense of possibility. Although at least the outward paths of their lives may appear to be set in terms of things like careers and family life, they might be facing different kinds of uncertainty, feeling that they have conflicting priorities and that whichever one they are attending to at the moment is not the one they would choose if they had a choice. They may feel dissatisfaction with those aspects of their lives that seem set and wonder how to do things differently.

The fact is that no single age group has a monopoly on the discomfort of uncertainty. The possibilities before us in youth may seem exhilarating, but it’s also disorienting not to have a structure to life. And for folks who are more established, the philosopher Kieran Setiya has noted that when we look back, we are not missing “a time when we could have everything” so much as “a time before we had to commit ourselves and thus confront our losses.”[i] The question is, what can we do about this?

We might try taking advice from Vincent de Paul. He once offered Louise de Marillac wise counsel when she was wrestling with uncertainty over the direction her life would take. From the perspective of his faith, he encouraged her to bear ambiguity and dissatisfaction patiently with grace, saying, “Try to live content among your reasons for discontent and always honor the inactivity and unknown condition of the Son of God. That is your center and what He asks of you for the present and for the future, forever.”[ii] Vincent was urging patience and an embrace of uncertainty almost as a holy time or a holy obligation because it was a time to listen for God’s voice and will. Viewed this way, uncertainty can be approached with hope and even gratitude. As Mission & Ministry’s own Mark Laboe has written, the chaos of uncertainty also contains “a creative energy … that can ultimately become transformative and life-giving.”[iii] The poet Rainer Maria Rilke offers what sounds like a more secular version of Vincent’s advice when he writes:

“Be patient towards all that is unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms, like books written in a foreign tongue. Do not now strive to uncover answers: they cannot be given you because you have not been able to live them. And what matters is to live everything. Live the questions for now. Perhaps then you will gradually, without noticing it, live your way into the answer.”[iv]

No matter where we are in life’s journey and what we are questioning, let us accept our uncertainty as a chance to develop more fully into the people we are called to be.

Reflection Questions

  • What feels most uncertain about your life now? Can you recall a similar time of uncertainty? How can you draw lessons from that time that may help you face your uncertainty today?
  • Can you locate the potential for growth within your uncertainty?

Reflection by: Miranda Lukatch, Editor, Vincentian Studies Institute

[i] Kieran Setiya, Midlife: A Philosophical Guide (Princeton University Press, 2018), 73.

[ii] Letter 29, “To Saint Louise,” [between 1626 and May 1629], CCD, 1:54. Available online at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vincentian_ebooks/25/.

[iii] Mark Laboe, “What Anchors You … and Us?” The Way of Wisdom, January 6, 2025, https://blogs.depaul.edu/dmm/2025/01/05/what-anchors-you-and-us/.

[iv] Rainier Maria Rilke to Franz Xaver Kappus, July 16, 1903, in Letters to a Young Poet, trans. Charlie Louth (New York: Penguin Books, 2013), 24.

Beginnings, Endings, and the Sacred In-Between

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Updates, resources, and events highlighting the integration of DePaul’s Vincentian mission into the daily life and work of the university community.

 

MISSION MONDAY

Beginnings, Endings, and the Sacred In-Between

It is in the in-between where we are formed to live our lives with meaning and purpose.

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UPCOMING EVENTS

Baccalaureate Lunch and Mass

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Beginnings, Endings, and the Sacred In-Between

Cassandra Lobo Mission and Ministry, Mission Monday , , ,

Written by: Rev. Diane Dardón, ELCA, D. Min., Director, Pastoral Care and Religious Diversity

Photo by Steve Woltmann and Thomas Vangel/DePaul University

A few weeks ago, I found myself in the Student Center elevator with several students who were talking about the number of guests joining them for their graduation ceremonies. The animated conversation moved into a communal reflection on how quickly their time at DePaul had flown. They agreed that it seemed like only yesterday when they came to campus for freshman orientation—and now they are preparing to leave behind their college adventure. Now they are preparing for new beginnings.

T. S. Eliot once wrote, “What we call the beginning is often the end … The end is where we start from.” [1] This quote and the elevator conversation I was privy to beautifully illustrate the cyclical nature of beginnings and endings. At DePaul, students begin their journeys by stepping into a community committed to helping them find their purpose as they prepare for careers, engage in service, and learn to reflect and act. And at the end of their DePaul journey graduates step out into the world hopefully with a heart transformed and committed to continuing the Vincentian mission of service, kindness, and goodness as new adventures unfold.

Our tapestries of beginnings and endings are woven over and over again: graduations, new jobs, farewells, and first hellos mark the turning points of our journeys. But as we pause to celebrate or grieve these milestones, we often overlook the most transformative part of the journey—the in-between. It is in this space—in the middle of the journey at DePaul—that we create a beloved community, where we find opportunities to grow and serve, where we stand in solidarity with one another, where we are formed and transformed to live our lives with meaning and purpose. Our Vincentian values—service, community, human dignity, and commitment to the marginalized—form a foundation that every member of the DePaul community is invited and encouraged to embrace. At DePaul, it is in the sacred in-between that students, faculty, and staff are invited to allow themselves to be transformed by our Vincentian legacy.

Transformation may not be quick, and it rarely takes root at the beginning or end of the journey. Instead, it happens over time, and is the result of intentionally making changes, seeking knowledge, relying upon the wisdom of others, building relationships, and allowing for reflection. Living in the middle and allowing for transformation of heart and mind is life-giving, and it is complicated. Brené Brown, a Texan professor, researcher, and storyteller describes the in-between as “messy, but it’s also where the magic happens.” [2] At DePaul the messy middle is where we find ourselves changed, it is where we meet grace, and it becomes a space for learning about and deeply engaging with our Vincentian values. The middle is where we are often challenged by the messiness but also transformed to be our very best. Each act of kindness, each honest conversation, each difficult decision taken with integrity, is part of the sacred in-between that shapes who we are becoming.

As graduates have been shaped over the years and now end this chapter of their lives, our hope is that they boldly carry their Vincentian values forward as they embark upon new beginnings and enter new communities, careers, and vocations. Our hope is that they have been formed and transformed into people of purpose who are committed to changing the world.

Poet Mary Oliver asks, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” [3] Our hope is that DePaul grads carry with them the very things they’ve encountered in the sacred in-between: a Vincentian heart shaped by service, community, reflection, and action—and live their one wild and precious life with intention, compassion, and purpose.

Congratulations to the Class of 2025! May you be deeply enriched as you embark upon beginnings, endings, and all the in-betweens to come!

Reflection Questions

1. As you’ve lived in the in-between at DePaul, how have you been transformed by our Vincentian legacy?

2. As you’ve served in the in-between at DePaul, how have you shared our Vincentian legacy and encouraged the transformation of others?

Reflection by: Rev. Diane Dardón, ELCA, D. Min., Director, Pastoral Care and Religious Diversity

[1] T. S. Eliot, “Little Gidding,” Four Quartets (Harcourt, Brace, 1943), 21.

[2] See Brené Brown, Rising Strong (Spiegel & Grau, 2015).

[3] Mary Oliver, “The Summer Day,” House of Light (Beacon Press, 1990). Available online at: https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-133/the-summer-day/.

What Anchors You … and Us?

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Reflection by: Mark Laboe, Interim Vice President, Mission and Ministry

A very influential and helpful idea on my personal spiritual journey emerged for me decades ago when I read This Blessed Mess: Finding Hope Amidst Life’s Chaos by Patricia Livingston. The simple yet profound main idea that captured my attention and that I internalized was this: just as God created life, love, and beauty out of darkness and chaos (see Genesis), so must we be agents of the ongoing creative process in our own lives, during which we often face moments of chaos. Furthermore, there is a creative energy that is present within the chaos of our lives that can ultimately become transformative and life-giving. Grasping this idea conceptually is one thing, but living it is another.

Fortunately, life inevitably provides a lot of practice by bringing us situations that feel like chaos again and again over the course of a lifetime. This might take the form of heartbreaking and tragic losses, illness and injury, or seemingly impossible situations in which the whole world seems to be against us. We may also have to deal with the painful aftermath of harmful human decisions and actions, whether our own or those of others (such as war and violence, greed, or ego-driven and self-centered behaviors). Whatever form it takes, the word “mess” is an unfortunately adequate description for what we often face in our lives. How could this “mess” possibly be “blessed”?

One piece of adult wisdom that helps us get through such moments comes in remembering simply that “this too shall pass.” I have heard it suggested that the difference between the child and the adult is that that adult knows the moment will pass. A child or adolescent is without the life experience to know that a painful life situation will eventually give way. Christian theology holds the profound understanding of the paschal mystery, modeled in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, to understand that there is hope and the potential for new life and redemption on the other side of death and suffering.

In fact, each “blessed mess” offers us an opportunity to clarify and define who we are and who we will become moving forward from that difficult moment. It is an opportunity to create and re-create our lives, grounded in the values and actions we know or believe to be good, true, and beautiful, and for the betterment of humanity. Victor Frankl, the famous Holocaust survivor, is known to have said that “everything can be taken from a (person) but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” [1]  Though I may first complain and cry in the face of chaos, sometimes I can also then laugh out loud when things start piling up on me and I realize that I am more… and life is more… than what I am experiencing in that moment. I am encouraged when I consider the freedom that I have to choose how I will face it.

Moments of “chaos” lead me repeatedly to the question: What anchors and guides me now and ultimately? What values and commitments do I want my life to reflect, and do I want to choose to live into in this moment? Which are most consistent with who I know myself to be and believe I was created by God to become? And how can we answer these questions in applying them to ourselves as a community?

Institutions and communities go through similar moments. Yet, making a shared commitment or “attitude adjustment” as a collective is quite a bit more complicated than just deciding to do so for oneself. It can be work, and it can require patience, empathy, generosity, love, and courage to get all on the same wavelength. Yet, having a shared mission to draw on can help a community like ours at DePaul. As we move through difficult and uncertain moments, our periods of chaos can become opportunities for clarification, for remembering and re-committing to each other, and for carefully discerning the values and sense of vocation that anchor and guide us.

I have often heard two related African proverbs quoted that emphasize the communal nature of the human person. They serve as important reminders about how we may best move through communal moments of chaos. One states that “no one goes to heaven alone,” and another is, “If you want to go fast, go alone, and if you want to go far, go together.” In a society and world that is so often individualistic or that struggles to bridge divides, such a communal mindset is countercultural. However, at DePaul, we often point to an understanding that we are a “community gathered together for the sake of the mission.” This is a modern take on the initials C.M. for Congregation of the Mission, the apostolic community we may better know as the Vincentians, established by Vincent de Paul. Our mission, therefore, offers us the encouragement and the charge to be countercultural in working and caring for the good of the whole, rather than simply defending our own individual positions or being satisfied simply with “going it alone.”

To move through moments of chaos in our lives, then, we benefit from seeing them as opportunities to anchor ourselves more deeply in what is most important and most true to who we are, and to do so together with others. The moment will pass, and we will endure. The question that remains throughout it all is who we will become in the process. Such moments reveal the ultimate gift and test of our human freedom, our identity, and our mission.

Reflection by: Mark Laboe, Interim Vice President, Mission and Ministry

[1 ]Dave Roos, “Viktor Frankl’s ‘Search for Meaning’ in 5 Enduring Quotes,” June 7, 2024, howstuffworks.com, at: https://history.howstuffworks.com/historical-figures/viktor-frankl.htm.

Recentering on Our Vocation

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“Holiness consists in this: doing well what you do, in conformity to your vocation.”

–  Vincent de Paul

We have enough on our plate. And please remember, no one is asking us to be Saint Mother Teresa. We are all challenged enough each day with the ongoing invitation to become most fully and authentically who God has called us to be. That is, to become self-giving, for our own fulfillment and joy, as well as for the benefit of others. Therefore, what I do ask is that you consider what you must do to attend to your unique talents and how to offer them to a world greatly in need of them.

This ever-present call to honor our unique vocation is true for individuals—and it is also true for institutions. We are not Harvard, nor Notre Dame, nor a public state-sponsored university, nor are we called to be. Rather, we are DePaul University, with our own unique history, present-day context, and reason for being. Institutionally, we, too, can benefit from remembering who we are and thereby growing more into who we can become for the world’s sake.

It has long been my contention that this focus on vocation—or purpose, mission, reason for being, or contribution to the world—is at the heart of what our Catholic and Vincentian mission is for all those who work and study here at DePaul. It is a threshold concept that moves or reframes our thinking about who we are into a transcendent dimension while grounding us in the realities of the present moment. It is a concept that can be articulated or understood in different ways appropriate for the diverse community we are and seek to serve. It is relevant to every academic discipline and area of work. It names a profound aspect of the human experience that is essential to the “integral human development” and the “way of wisdom” that we profess are central to our institutional mission. What is the unique contribution we can make to the world and those around us—in this moment, and in the entire arc of our lifetime? This question always beckons us forward.

This summer, all those around you at DePaul and beyond will benefit if you do what you must to reconnect to who you are most deeply, to that which you know you have to offer our community, and to what makes you come alive. If you work for the university, take a moment to re-center on what you know that you and DePaul have to offer to our students and to society. Envision your work within this larger frame of reference.

It is a simple concept, but that does not mean it is easy to do or to sustain. Yet taking time and space now and again to remember who we are, and to re-center ourselves in our vocation, makes a world of difference to our lives and to those around us. Therefore, I encourage you, in the words of Vincent de Paul, “Please be steadfast in walking in the vocation to which you are called.”

Reflection Questions:

  • When you engage the question, “What must be done?” in your own life and growth as a person to become who you are called to be, what comes to mind for you?
  • How do you understand DePaul University’s institutional vocation?
  • How can you use the summer weeks—individually and with those you work most closely—to re-ground yourself in your own vocation or connect your daily work more consciously to DePaul’s mission?

Reflection by: Mark Laboe, Interim Vice President, Mission and Ministry

1 Conference 116, “Uniformity (Common Rules, Art. 17)” November 15, 1657, CCD, 10:284.

2 Howard Thurman, well-known theologian and spiritual advisor to many in the US civil rights movement, once famously said: “Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

3 Letter 1824, “To a Priest of the Mission,” January 2, 1655, CCD, 5:256.

Sometimes, We Forget Who We Are

afraser5 Lent, Mission Monday ,
Photo by Erik Eastman on Unsplash

Human beings are creatures who can drift away from who we are at our best. We make mistakes, show poor judgment, or operate from a wounded place. In such moments, we add to the world’s dysfunction and even unwittingly contribute to harm and injustice, despite our best efforts not to. This dynamic seems to be part of our human experience, which suggests that we would be wise to walk through the world with an ample supply of humility and that we need a community to hold us accountable.

Recognition of this human tendency that plays out in our individual and collective lives is at the root of the Christian practice of Lent, which begins this coming Wednesday, February 14, with the celebration of Ash Wednesday. The annual season of Lent is a communal practice that invites Christians to a time of intentional pause to reflect on ways that we may have gone astray in our habits and caused harm to our relationships. Lent is a season when we join our mindful attention and willpower together with the healing and restoring mercy and love of God. Through prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, we seek to realign our lives with what we value most. (Learn here about plans for DePaul Ash Wednesday Services and Lent.)

I wonder what regular practices and habits in our work environment might play a similar role in helping us rectify ways we have fallen off course. Perhaps we might benefit from auditing how we have strayed from our mission, developed habits of relating and working together that are ineffective or even harmful, or allowed ourselves to drift into a state of “just going through the motions.” Perhaps, as an institution founded in the Catholic tradition, we might also use this season of Lent for organizational purposes to reflect on how we can refresh our work with new positivity, creativity, and efficacy.

The season of Lent runs from Ash Wednesday on February 14th through Easter on Sunday, March 31st.

Questions for reflection:

What might you commit to doing over these 6+ weeks (40+ days) to put your own house back in order, individually or collectively? How can you realign how you are living with what you value most?

Reflection By: Mark Laboe, Associate VP for Mission and Ministry

How Can Vincentian Discernment Anchor Us in Uncertain Times?

bcicirel Discernment, Mission Monday, Signs of the times

Each of you reading this today has a unique identity and place in the world. Indeed, it is humbling to think that no one quite like us has ever existed on this planet, and there will never be another person like you again!

If we want to understand how to take better take care of ourselves and remain spiritually healthy, we need to know how to discern well and how to align our values and behaviors with wise choices that support a balanced life. This will surely involve learning how to listen and to trust the voice deep within, paying attention to the wisdom of the community that supports us, and observing the rhythm of our days.

At first, this may sound like an easy task, but how do we discern well amid the cacophony of dissonant and competing clatter that regulates our waking hours? Maybe Vincentian wisdom can guide us along our discernment path.

Vincent de Paul’s process of discernment had three parts: an openness to God’s will, an evaluation of reasons for or against an action, and a consultation with wise persons.[1]

For Vincent and Louise, it was in the concrete and sometimes messy circumstances of their lives that they so deeply experienced the presence of God. God was very much alive to them in the midst of their relationships, especially with those who existed on the margins of seventeenth-century France. The essence of their approach to relationships involved “living with a listening heart, paying daily attentiveness to God’s presence, and a daily discerning and decisioning.”[2] Such a Vincentian approach has been described by scholar Vie Thorgren as “living with a discerning heart.”[3] This discerning sensibility also involved examining the pros and cons of a situation and deciding on a suitable response or course of action.

Yet, it is important to note that it was often only after events themselves had passed, in an intimate moment of prayer and contemplation, that their meaning became clear. Thus, for Vincent and Louise, carving out quiet, reflective moments was important as it provided opportunities to interpret the events of their lives through the lens of their faith and in dialogue with their lived experience.

Another integral aspect of their discernment process was to seek advice and sound counsel from people whose wisdom they respected. This stemmed from their deep belief and trust in the fact that God mediated God’s will through people.[4] Consequently, while receiving wise counsel, Vincent and Louise would seek to identify the word of God, which would then help guide and inform their decision-making and their quest for right and just action.

So, what might such a discernment process mean for us at DePaul today, when our context is so very different?

As we strive to remain spiritually grounded and holistically healthy, perhaps, it is as simple as merely considering some simple questions: What is the quality of the yeses in your life right now, and are these supporting your professional and personal growth? Are you saying no when you need to? Finally, how, with a listening heart, might you discern the difference?

Reflection by: Siobhan O’Donoghue, Director of Faculty/Staff Engagement, Division of Mission and Ministry

[1] As noted in the abstract to Hugh O’Donnell, C.M., “Vincentian Discernment,” Vincentian Heritage 15:1 (1994). Available at: http://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol15/iss1/2.

[2] O’Donnell, “Vincentian Discernment,” 15.

[3] Ibid.

[4] Ibid., 8.

Learning to Discern Well

bcicirel Discernment, Lent, Mission and Ministry, Mission Monday, Mission Resources , , , ,

“Virtue loves discernment and can never be excessive—neither too little nor too much.”
(Document 57, Journal of the Last Days of Saint Vincent, 5 June 1660, CCD, 13a:196.)

“…in the final analysis, virtue is not found in extremes, but in prudence.…”
Letter 881, To Etienne Blatiron, In Genoa, 26 October 1646, CCD, 3:101-02.

As the global community faces uncertainty and fear surrounding the COVID crisis, we are invited into a period of ongoing discernment individually and collectively about what to do and how to live in the midst of this current and unprecedented situation. Discernment might be thought of as both the art of making wise decisions about particular matters, as well as developing the habit of learning and growing in wisdom through our daily challenges and experiences.

A focus on discernment is especially suited to the current season of Lent, practiced by Catholics and in many other Christian traditions during these 40 days leading to the celebration of Easter. What wisdom might this time-tested annual spiritual practice hold for us now as we seek to discern well?

While we find little in Vincent de Paul’s writings specifically concerning the practices of Lent, he clearly invited his followers to consider what they might do in order to use this season well. For many Catholics in the northern hemisphere, the Lenten season is a sort of spiritual “spring training” during which we re-assess where we are on our journey and re-focus ourselves on what is most important.

For some, using the Lenten season well, therefore, means committing to positive action consistently over this 40-day period, hoping to build or deepen habits that reflect important values or goals. Others find it helpful to use the Lenten season to focus on refraining from habits that may be unwittingly pulling them away from what is most important—because sometimes we are swayed into navigating the stresses of life in ways that are ultimately harmful and do not reflect the best of who we are.

Vincent’s unswerving focus on moving from espoused values to lived virtues offers a timeless challenge particularly relevant for this season of Lent, as well as during this time of public crisis. Virtues, as Vincent understood them, are values that are embodied or put into practice consistently through our actions and in concrete ways. He believed that virtues are “acquired only by repeated acts,” and are not realized all at once but only “gradually, gently, and patiently” over time (1933, To Pierre de Beaumont, CCD, 5:443). Vincent tended not to rush making decisions, but waited for the best path to be revealed through careful attention to prayer and to the realities of life.

Certain situations in our lives offer us compelling opportunities to practice the art of discernment. We are living in such a situation now.

The Lenten season invites us to exercise these discernment muscles as a regular and ongoing practice in our lives, such that making wise decisions becomes more our habit. Vincent’s wisdom invites us to focus on putting our values into practice, and to pay careful attention to what is being revealed through our daily life, our experiences and relationships.

As we move through this season and the challenges before us, we also can look forward to the promise of springtime. May this season bless us with a deepened wisdom and a stronger connection to one another, as well as with hope for the abundance of new life on its way in the near future.

Reflection by:  Mark Laboe, Associate Vice President, Mission and Ministry

Conversion and Discernment According to Vincent de Paul

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Edward Udovic writes, “For Vincent de Paul the life-long conversion required by a vocation to Christian discipleship begins with the prayerful discernment of God’s will in one’s day-to-day life, the free decision to accept that will in faith and love, and then, to the best of one’s ability, living that faith in action and love relying always on God’s grace.” To follow God’s will was to be as obedient to it as Christ was. For Vincent, doing God’s will meant evangelizing the poor as Christ did, accepting God’s grace to follow Providence, and recognizing that only God can know what the results of Providence will be. Further discernment was required to discover the best ways of doing this. Before such discernment was possible, it was necessary to cultivate indifference, or detachment from one’s own will and to hold oneself in complete “unrestricted readiness” for whatever God might require. Vincent’s advice on how to do this as part of conversion is described, as are the obstacles to such conversion. Grace was needed during this process as well. Questions of discernment for the modern Vincentian Family are included.

“Conversion and Discernment According to Vincent de Paul” is an article that was published in the Vincentian Heritage Journal, Volume 32, Issue 1, Article 1 (2015) available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/vhj/vol32/iss1/1