Relationships

Being Fully Present

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“I would truly like to know how you really are.”

Take a moment to remember how many times you have greeted somebody over the last day. How many times have you asked the question, “How are you?”

In our fast-paced society, it is easy for this question to get lost in the flurry as we respond with a simple “fine.” In their written correspondence, we can see that Louise and Vincent paused to check in on one another. In one letter, as she was inquiring about Vincent’s health, Louise wrote, “I would truly like to know how you really are.”

Showing care and interest in the well-being of one another is at the heart of Vincentian personalism. When we take time to be present to those around us and hear how they are really doing, we honor their dignity and personhood.

How can you take time today to be truly present to those in your life – whether in your workplace, local community or family?

 

Reflection by:
Emily LaHood-Olsen, Ministry Coordinator for Service Immersions, Division of Mission and Ministry

Citation:
Letter 649. Monsieur Vincent. January 4, 1660. Spiritual Writings of Louise de Marillac, page 671.

Vincent and Louise: A Model for Teamwork

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When Louise de Marillac first discovered that Vincent de Paul had been assigned to be her new spiritual director, she stated, “It was repugnant for me to accept him.” While it is hard to know exactly what was behind Louise’s sentiments, it is clear that she was not pleased by the idea of working together with this Gascon peasant. However, as time went on, Vincent and Louise developed a deep and effective collaboration that would transform service to the poor and marginalized in seventeenth-century France and beyond. From a less than promising start, their friendship lasted 35 years, and their work together created a living legacy of which we are all part.

Think back to an instance when your initial perception of a work relationship changed over time. What did you learn from this experience?

A.2, Light, in Louise de Marillac, et al., Spiritual Writings of Louise De Marillac: Correspondence and Thoughts (New City Press, 1991), 1.

Praising Others

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“They will not forget to say a good word to them occasionally…”
– 12. Service of the sick poor, in Common Rules of the Company of Sisters of Charity

Vincent de Paul and Louise de Marillac created the Common Rules of the Sisters of Charity as a seventeenth-century “code of conduct” for their community. When discussing how to care for the sick and poor, Louise and Vincent encouraged the Sisters to intentionally compliment or share words of appreciation with those that they serve. Louise and Vincent recognized that it is easy to become caught up in our daily tasks and work, and that we can forget to share kind words with those whom we see on a daily basis. This week consider intentionally complimenting or appreciating a student, peer, or colleague as a small way of contributing to the Vincentian legacy today.

The Value of Relationships

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“So then, gentleness and forbearance are necessary among ourselves and for our service to the neighbor.” — Vincent de Paul (Correspondence, Conferences, Documents, 12:249)
By the end of his life, Vincent was known for his gentleness and approachability. However, these characteristics grew over time and were part of Vincent’s long, slow transformation. He spoke of being “firm and unchanging with regard to the end but gentle and humble as to the means.” (CCD, 1:290) Vincent understood that the way we interact with others can have a ripple effect on a whole network of relationships, and therefore might influence the long-term effectiveness of a mission shared with others. With this in mind, how, then, might you make such gentleness and care evident in your interactions with others this week?