Gentleness in Our Relationships

Vincent de Paul with Francis de Sales, Jeanne de Chantal

“Kindness is the key to hearts.”[1]

—Saint Vincent de Paul

Last week (and every year on January 25), on the Catholic feast day of the conversion of Saint Paul, Vincentians around the globe celebrated what we have come to know as Foundation Day. Vincent de Paul remembered this day as the critical moment when his mission began, the day he gave a powerful sermon at the church in Folleville, France. The sermon came in large part from his lived experience of witnessing the great need among the rural poor for material and spiritual care, and most likely, after hearing the probing question of Madame de Gondi—“Vincent, what must be done?”

What I always find interesting and so very appropriate is the Catholic feast day that falls each year on the day before our Foundation Day, on January 24. This day is celebrated each year as the feast day of Saint Francis de Sales, a spiritual giant and contemporary of Vincent de Paul. Francis clearly had a deep and transformational impact on Vincent and on the way that Vincent eventually came to understand and practice spirituality in the latter part of his life. “Vincent I,” the person Vincent was in the first part of his life, was by all reports what we might call an average and (at times) self-serving priest, who then transformed into “Vincent II,” the person who came to be regarded by many as a saint.[2] In addition to the pivotal events of 1617, which many have deemed as the turning point from “Vincent I” to “Vincent II,” it seems quite clear that Francis de Sales contributed significantly to shaping the spiritual framework of the transformation that took place in Vincent de Paul.

Saint Francis de Sales, the bishop of Geneva, was highly regarded and well known in Vincent’s time and he continues to be famous for his practical application of the spiritual life to everyday life and relationships. At the very least, Francis’s pragmatic spirituality clearly had a marked resemblance to what emerged as the spiritual vision of Vincent de Paul. This vision solidified after their face-to-face encounters in Paris beginning around November 1618. It was then that Francis came to Paris for a ten-month period on business. And, indeed, Francis’s influence is reflected by the particular ways in which Vincent continued to grow and express himself spiritually in the second half of his life.

Vincent helped to petition the pope for Francis’s beatification nearly forty years later. What seemed to impress Vincent—and most people—about Francis de Sales was his kind and gentle spirit. According to Vincent, the two “had the honor of enjoying [a] close friendship.”[3] Vincent is reported to have called Francis “a living gospel.”[4] Known for the now popular spiritual advice that “a spoonful of honey attracts more flies than a barrelful of vinegar,” Francis preached the way of gentleness in relationships, recognizing that our everyday encounters with others are the consummate opportunity to practice love and to grow in virtue. Later, we see the emergence of Vincent’s emphasis on the virtue of “meekness,” which has been translated as becoming “approachable” by and for others. Vincent had previously noted that Francis “made himself accessible to all, without distinction—religious as well as secular and laypersons—who came to consult him …”[5] Additionally, Francis was known to have emphasized the importance of spiritual zeal and humility, which are virtues that Vincent eventually identified as foundational to his vision for the Congregation of the Mission.

Louise de Marillac was also someone who held Francis in high esteem. The quote from Vincent shared above about kindness occurred while he was speaking to the Daughters of Charity about the practice of mutual respect and gentleness in their interactions with others, particularly with those who are poor and whom we wish to serve. He suggested such virtues must be characteristic of all those seeking to practice this mission of charity and care for those in need.

Vincent de Paul was a unique person who initiated a great mission that we continue to live and benefit from today. We remember him now as a saint, as one to emulate. We look to his example for inspiration and guidance as we continue to carry forward his legacy and mission in our work at DePaul University.

And, at the same time, no human being grows into the fullness of their identity and vocation without others who support, inspire, and mentor them along the way. We, like Vincent, most commonly gain and sustain a vision for our own life through the relationships and vocational narratives that we have been blessed to encounter along the way.

Reflection Questions:

  • In what ways do kindness and gentleness resonate with you in relation to what you have come to know about living our Vincentian mission at DePaul? How might you integrate them more intentionally into your daily interactions?
  • Who are foundational spiritual influences in your own life?

Reflection by: Mark Laboe, Associate VP for Mission and Ministry

[1] Conference 27, “The Practice of Mutual Respect and Gentleness,” August 19, 1646, CCD, 9:207.

[2] Hugh O’Donnell, C.M., touches on this idea in Frances Ryan, D.C., John E. Rybolt, C.M., eds., Vincent de Paul and Louise de Marillac: Rules, Conferences, and Writings, Classics of Western Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1995), 15ff.

[3] Document 29, “Deposition at the Process of Beatification of Francis de Sales,” (April 17, 1628), CCD, 13a:81.

[4] James Dyar, “‘To listen like a Disciple’ (Is. 50:4),” Colloque 9 (1984), at We are Vincentians: The Vincentian Formation Network, Know More to Serve More (blog), July 12, 2016, http://vincentians.com/en/to-listen-like-a-disciple-is-504/. Citation refers to the blog post.

[5] Document 29, “Deposition at the Process of Beatification of Francis de Sales,” (April 17, 1628), CCD, 13a:83.

Knit with Meaning: Crafting for a Cause

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Katie Sullivan is the University Minister for Catholic Social Concerns in Catholic Campus Ministry.

In the last few years, I’ve found myself doing a lot of knitting. Some of this knitting is definitely because a lot of people I know are having babies – friends, siblings, co-workers, you name it. Some of this knitting is because I simply enjoy it or want to make something special for a loved one. And some of it is because of Crafting for a Cause, our CCM program for students who want to knit or crochet things to donate to those in need and build community with each other as they knit.

In the process of doing all this knitting, I’ve discovered that when I knit, I keep the person I’m knitting for in my consciousness and hope that the love I’m feeling for them goes into the item. In this way, knitting is now a spiritual practice for me. Knitting with intention, as I try to do, has become prayer.

During the 2013 summer months, one knitting project in particular took on extra special meaning for me – a blanket I was making for my older sister, Keary.   She had been diagnosed with breast cancer earlier that summer, and I had decided to make her a blanket she could take with her to chemotherapy.

This blanket felt extra special; it was a big blanket and required a lot of yarn and every time I worked on it, I thought of Keary and put my heart into the project, essentially praying for her health and recovery. Yet, it somehow seemed to have more mistakes than usual in it.

When I gave it to her, and apologized for the many mistakes, she smiled and said, “Don’t you remember what Mrs. Samson [our former teacher who taught us both to knit] said about mistakes? They’re your love.”

I hadn’t remembered that little nugget of wisdom from the woman who had taught me to knit but hearing it made me happy because it felt so true. I had been thinking of any mistakes in my knitting as my signature (thanks to a friend for sharing that piece of wisdom with me). Now, though, I think I’ll look at any mistakes and see them as both love and a signature.

In a very special way, knitting, for me, has become prayer in its own unique way. What are some things that you do that have become spiritual practice?

Do you want to try knitting as a spiritual practice now? If so, please join our Crafting for a Cause group on Fridays at 11am in the CCM office (Suite 104 of the Lincoln Park Student Center).

A Parade of Casseroles

casseroleWorking at DePaul University I’ve learned a lot about St. Vincent DePaul the charity saint. While many others were doing good works during his time, Vincent was the first to organize charity in a systemic way. One of the first places he experimented with this was at a parish in Chatillon, France. He recognized that parishioners would respond when there was a neighbor in need, but that the person would be overwhelmed with too much attention all at once and so the good will was not put to good use – back then they didn’t have freezers to hold extra casseroles! So, Vincent began to organize the parishioners into small groups of people who would go out and do home visits to assess need and then decide together how to respond to it. In these visits, both the physical and spiritual needs would be attended to.

This practice continues today around the world with the St. Vincent DePaul Society and other ministries, where volunteers go into others’ homes. It is also happening right here in Chicago in my own St. John Berchmans (SJB) parish community thanks to the ministry of HOPE (Helping Other People Enthusiastically).

For the past few weeks my family has been the gracious recipient of the generosity of SJB friends who have brought us meals as we welcome home our son Theodore.

Typically I’m on the giving, not receiving end. At first my husband was hesitant to receive such generosity since “we” don’t really need it. When I asked if he was going to suddenly take up cooking as his new hobby and leave his newborn in order to go to the grocery store, he quickly changed his mind. Yes, perhaps we could use some extra help! It is a humbling time as we welcome with open arms a parade of casseroles and tasty treats to give us the endurance to push through sleepless nights.

There is something very intimate and sacred about inviting someone into your home, especially during a moment of need. People we see in the pews on Sunday entered both the joy and messiness of our life with a newborn. Some would stay and visit for a while, sharing their wisdom on parenthood. Others saw we had our hands full and just left instructions of how to heat the food.

The simple act of preparing and delivering a meal is profound way to continue to build bridges of solidarity together. We are grateful for the physical and spiritual nourishment we’ve received from the SJB community –the actual meals and the many powerful prayers that have made all the difference in our and Teddy’s life. Hopefully someday you will have the opportunity to join or receive a parade of casseroles too.

Joyana Dvorak serves as Service Immersion Coordinator with DePaul University Ministry when she’s not home on maternity leave with her son.

Photo courtesy of wikipedia.org

 

5 Pieces of Advice for DePaul’s Incoming Freshmen— From Last Year’s Freshmen!

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As the school year came to an end last month, I heard a lot of fellow freshmen saying things like, “I can’t believe how fast this year went!” Or, “I wish I could do (fill in the blank!) all over again.” A few of those freshmen were also talking about things they wish had known before they came to DePaul. So I gathered a group of these experts to offer their five top pieces of advice for DePaul’s incoming class. Here we go:

DON’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE ON TV!

You’re probably not going to be partying all the time. In fact, if you try this, you’re likely going to watch your grades plummet. You’ll be out of here faster than you can say “This party rocks”. On the other hand, most college experiences aren’t spent under a tower of books either. Most students are able to balance their academics with their social life. But make some good choices because your first few quarter grades will really shape your overall GPA down the road.

MAKING FRIENDS IS TIME CONSUMING AND CAN BE DIFFICULT

The first week, particularly if you’re part of the Discover program, your whole floor tries to be best friends. This likely won’t last. Depending on your res hall, you will stay social, but most of your friends will come from elsewhere. Classes are small, which is great for individualized attention from teachers, but this does not actually help that much in making friends. Aside from group projects, you most likely won’t talk to your classmates much. Your friends will come from the communities you get involved in. There are tons of different clubs, sororities, fraternities, faith-based groups, and service groups. The more you get involved, the more people you meet and the less lonely the campus feels. And sometimes joining a group that just sounds interesting cannot only turn out to bring you great friends, but you might discover some new interest or passion.

YOU HAVE A LOT OF TIME – YET NONE AT ALL

Coming from high school means that most of you probably were really busy with classwork, extra-curricular things and trying to hang out with your friends before you all went your separate ways. That final year in high school is really busy with fourteen hour days being packed full. When you get to DePaul you will find that your time is really open. You’ll be wondering how to fill the hours and you might even miss the structure and business of high school. But don’t panic. Your schedule will get packed. You’ll need to make time for classes, studying, working, social life and the groups you join. Don’t forget to add in time to go out of your building for meals and try to work in some recreation. You’ll need time to work out the stress and tension. And then, before you know it, your calendar is packed and you’re back to fourteen hour days. So be particular about what you fill your hours with. Join clubs, go out, leave time to study, and maybe, just maybe, try to squeeze in some time for sleep…and set and stick to priorities.

BEING A COMMUTER CAN BE BRUTAL

While you may not have to deal with annoying roommates and awful meal plans, being a commuter is tough. It’s harder to meet people when you’re not on campus as often. While no one really likes traffic or trains, commuters inevitably come to loathe these things, though they are experts on navigating them. The truth is, though, everyone at DePaul becomes a commuter eventually because few people live on or even near campus after freshman year. Find friends to live with off campus, find friends who commute like you, find friends who can share the grind of commuting and enjoy your time at DePaul whether in the res halls or not!

THIS IS CHIBERIA

This past winter was particularly cold, but those from warmer states or maybe even those just not used to feeling lake-effect winds may not be prepared for winters in Chicago. Get yourself some waterproof boots, a real winter coat, a thick scarf, thicker gloves, a fuzzy hat (no matter how goofy you look!), grow some of that tough Chicago skin, and start praying for spring. The quarter system lets us skip the December snow, but as you’re waiting at the Fullerton platform the first week of January and shivering, you’ll realize that we got back just in time for two or three months of ice. Someone waiting with a bunch of people on the Fullerton platform said to one shivering group, “You live in Chicago? You’re a warrior. You know that? A WARRIOR!” Yes, yes, we are warriors. And the battle starts winter quarter.

WELCOME TO DEPAUL, freshmen! You are in for a great year…and it will fly by…and then YOU can share your advice with the next new class. Enjoy!

Lindsey Echito is now a sophomore at DePaul who put her advice together with other freshmen thoughts to offer this great advice.

Photo courtesy of DePaul DeBlogs