Care

Showing up in a Time of Digital Distance

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As has been the case during many former Lenten seasons, this year several groups of DePaul faculty and staff met on Zoom during a six-week period to participate in faith-sharing groups. Even though many of the group members had never before met, their time invited them to get to know colleagues on a much deeper level than activities of the workplace typically allow. During these sessions, we shared about the events of our lives in light of our faith commitments, and we prayed together as a community gathered together for the sake of a rich mission. While we may have started out as strangers, we soon became spiritual companions who travelled together on a unique journey, opening up about our lives and supporting each other during an intimate and sacred moment in time.

In many ways, this simple commitment to meet together and to share honestly aligned with the invocation of Saint Vincent, centuries before, to model truthful simplicity. Writing to a fellow priest, Vincent had implored, “Have the simplicity of a dove. This means giving a straightforward opinion about things in the way we honestly see them, without needless reservations. It also means doing things without any double-dealing or manipulation, our intention being focused solely on God.”[1] After all, “everyone loves simple, candid people, who don’t use subtleties or tricks, who are straightforward and speak sincerely, with the result that whatever they say comes from their heart.… they’re respected … esteemed by all.[2]”

Last week’s Mission Monday invited us to reflect on our human need to be in community and to feel cared for in good times and in bad. As I reflect upon what happened for me this Lenten season, our faith-sharing groups made manifest the best of “Take Care DePaul.” We showed up for one another. We listened and supported each other. At times, we gently challenged each other. We shared our truths, and we made meaning together. We trusted one another. And, if members couldn’t attend, we prayed for them and for the larger DePaul community. It was a form of spiritual accompaniment, a way of reminding each other that we matter, and the events of our lives matter. In a world that is so often defined by digital distance, this weekly coming together reminded us that we were not alone.

At its best, DePaul is a community that cares, and caring for the other is an integral part of working at a Vincentian university. Moreover, it is part of what it means to be human and is essential for human flourishing.

There are many experiences that may represent for us the best of DePaul. In the midst of the winter quarter, these groups were just one small manifestation of such an experience. They offered an opportunity to come together and listen to each other in a supportive environment of peers. This meant that for just a brief moment in time, we were able to share what was in our hearts and feel heard. It offered an opportunity to care and, in a spirit of mutuality, to experience being cared for by trusted peers. Engaging in such meaningful experiences has the potential to remind us that another world is possible, a world that is more caring and compassionate, in which all may thrive.

Reflection Questions

How might you/we create more experiences with colleagues that allow for deeper interpersonal sharing, support, and connection?

Think of a moment when you felt you were particularly well cared for at DePaul. Who showed up for you at that time? How have you paid this moment forward? What did that feel like?

Recall a time when you spoke the truth in the face of your own fears. What do you remember of this moment? What did you learn from it?

Reflection by: Siobhan O’Donoghue, PhD, Director of Faculty and Staff Engagement, Division of Mission and Ministry

[1] Constitutions and Statutes of the Congregation of the Mission, English trans. (Rome: General Curia of the Congregation of the Mission, 1989), 109.

[2] Pierre Coste, C.M., ed., Vincent de Paul: Correspondence, Conferences, Documents, ed. and trans. Jacqueline Kilar, D.C. et al., 14 vols. (New York: New City Press, 1985-2008), 12:142.

Take Care of Yourself!

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I have never felt the pressing need for self-care more than I do right now. Occasionally, I find myself ruminating on the state of the world. Over six months of the Covid-19 pandemic with no immediate end in sight. Urgent social justice and human rights issues in our community and country which call us to face hard truths and work for change. A bitter national election entering its final stages. All in addition to the “usual” professional and personal demands that, on their own, seem just enough for the average plate to hold. All told, this is a lot.  Why is it, then, that in the face of such challenges we often forget to treat ourselves with added care and compassion?

I am not sure, but perhaps if the instructions to do so came directly from Vincent de Paul or Louise de Marillac, we might be more mindful of the practice of self-care. To be sure, this was an instruction Vincent and Louise gave many times over, as seen in their voluminous correspondence. We witness Vincent urging a priest in his community, “Please do all in your power to stay well, Monsieur, and to take better care of yourself than you have done.”1 And, writing to a Daughter of Charity, Louise was even more succinct, “Take care of yourself, for the love of God…” she implored her.2

To borrow a contemporary phrase, Vincent and Louise were “creating space” for their community members to recognize their limitations and attend to their needs. Undoubtedly, they were motivated by genuine concern for them, but Vincent and Louise also knew that unless a person takes care of themselves, they will be in no position to take care of others. And, caring for others—especially the sick, the orphaned, the marginalized and poor—has been the mission of Vincentian communities since their beginnings.

For some of us, taking time for self-care may never be easy. But, it is so important! Maybe realizing the connection between our own self-care and how it affects our ability to care for others will help. Or maybe simply remembering that our patrons, Vincent and Louise, believed in self-care will be enough to make us believe in its importance, too.

Sit for a few moments in peace and quiet and ask yourself how, if at all, you may be feeling depleted? What can you do to replenish yourself? Acts of self-care may be big, or they may be small. How might you be called, in big ways or small, to care for yourself these days?

 

1 2905, To Louis Rivet, Superior, In Saintes, 13 July 1659, CCD, 8:31.

2 L.58B, To Sister Élisabeth Martin, 7 August (1641), Spiritual Writings, 56.

Reflection by: Tom Judge, Chaplain, Mission and Ministry

 

Have you shared your input on the Review of the DePaul Mission Statement?

During the current academic year, the Mission Committee of the Board of Trustees is undergoing a formal review of the statement. DePaul faculty, staff, students and alumni are encouraged to participate by sharing their input related to their understanding of DePaul’s mission, how it is reflected in the existing mission statement, and lived in practice. Please take a moment to provide your feedback through this survey.

 

We must go there!

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October 1, 2015.  My family and friends were texting me. “Are you ok?”

I ignored them.

I knew what they were asking and I didn’t want to go there.

I didn’t want to return to a horrible day at Northern Illinois University — Valentines Day 2008 —when a student burst into a classroom and started shooting. Months before this heinous act on a campus that was supposed to be safe, I had begun serving as a campus pastor. Years later as news broke this past Thursday that there was another shooting on another “safe” campus I tried my best to ignore the realities that come with such a tragedy.

I didn’t want to remember the screams of disbelief from friends and family who discovered that a dear one had been wounded, or even worse, killed. I didn’t want to remember the scenes of confusion and cries of terror in the hospital emergency room. I didn’t want to remember the funerals and vigils. I didn’t want to go there.

But tonight, here at DePaul, I WILL go there.

I will stand with students, faculty and staff around the St. Vincent Circle in the heart of campus and I WILL go there. I will enter into the depths of heartache and I will stand with others as a gesture of solidarity against violence in our communities, on our campuses, in our world. I will remember all of the people in a slumbering university town not too far from Chicago who were affected by gun violence. I will reflect upon all of those in Roseburg, Oregon and throughout the country whose hearts are broken and whose lives are disrupted by another senseless killing rampage. And I will pray for peace and yearn for the same in my heart and the hearts of victims of violence.

Taking a few moments to light a candle, to offer prayer and to take a stand against violence may seem like a very small thing to do. But I know–having been with the mothers and fathers, sisters, grandparents, professors, friends, brothers and broken community members—that such a small gesture is more powerful than anyone can imagine. I know how important moments of remembering are for those who are trying to make sense out of the senseless.  I know the warmth and balm that one small shining candle can bring to hearts broken.

Tonight, WE must go there! We must go and stand with our brothers and sisters near and far and pray. We must go there to remember those who have died and those who are dying inside over loss of life and so much more. We must go there to let the world know that this school, built upon the foundations of loving and serving one another, is standing solidly together to offer a bit of balm and a prayer for peace for all those whose lives are ripped apart—or ended—by violence.

Tonight, standing around St. Vincent’s Circle, our lights will burn, our prayers will be offered and we will tell our sisters and brothers in Roseburg and the world that we are resolved to be lovers of peace and caretakers of one another. Tonight we must go there!

Rev. Diane Dardon is a Protestant Chaplain at DePaul.  She invites you to join the DePaul Interfaith Scholars tonight at 6:00p.m.  in St. Vincent’s Circle for a Vigil to honor those slain last week at Umpqua Community College.