While growing up my main encounters with religion were attending a Methodist church sporadically – if my mom had successfully dragged my brother and me there – and reciting a prayer before dinner: God is great and God is good, and we thank Him for this food…

I didn’t understand “God” and had no real desire to.

But the summer after my senior year of high school, at the insistence of my friends, I went on a mission trip to Tijuana, Mexico. While I did not always agree with what was said in group discussions, I was surprised to discover that I enjoyed the group prayers that began our workday. Addressing God held little meaning for me but I couldn’t argue with the positivity of centering our day’s work in love. While small, my appreciation for our daily prayers reminded me that perhaps religion had more to offer than I was aware.

This realization seemed to set the stage for my experiences at DePaul. For the next two years I had a growing interest in religion, especially after discovering that many of my peers who had inspired me with their dedication to social justice were also people of faith. I added a Religious Studies major, dabbled in meditation, went to a few services at an interdenominational church and started reading about shamanism. I was haphazardly seeking and yearning for a religion, practice or community that felt meaningful – but these efforts were put on hiatus as I left the summer before my junior year to study abroad in Peru.

When I came back to DePaul, I was wrestling with some existential questions that my experiences abroad brought to the surface. I remembered meeting Diane Dardón, one of the Protestant chaplains on campus, my freshman year at a retreat and I reached out to her to talk. We agreed to meet twice a week during spring quarter and through our conversations I slowly began to understand my spirituality, recognizing it as an anchor for all other dimensions of my life. I resumed my efforts of exploring different faith communities, attending Buddhist, Baha’i and Quaker services as well as a meditation class. I initially did not feel drawn to Christianity, but realized I understood very little about it. Pastor Diane answered my questions, explored what I was unfamiliar with, and deconstructed some negative stereotypes I had absorbed over the years. I began attending her Sunday evening worship service and joined DePaul Christian Ministries’ (DCM) women’s group.

As a seeker, confused and questioning, Pastor Diane welcomed me into DCM, offering the insight and support that I was craving. While I still am grappling with the same questions, I no longer have the spiritual disquiet that brought me to her office. I am content with my journey and can even revel in the uncertainties some days – I’m beginning to understand that it will be a life-long process.

Chelsey Sanford is a DePaul senior who will graduate next spring. She is a double major in Religious Studies and Peace, Justice and Conflict Studies

 Photo of Chelsey doing service work during DCM Women’s Retreat courtesy of Diane Dardón.