Wellness Wednesdays

Wellness Wednesday – Mental Health

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Mental Health. Why is it important? Why are you hearing so much about mental health these days? It’s relevant right now because this month, May, is Mental Health Awareness Month. So let’s talk about it!

What is mental health? Mental health refers to our cognitive, behavioral, and emotional well-being. It is all about how people think, feel, and behave. People sometimes use the term “mental health” to mean the absence of a mental disorder. Mental health can affect daily living, relationships, and physical health. Mental wellbeing describes your mental state – how you are feeling and how well you can cope with day-to-day life. Our mental wellbeing is dynamic. If you have good mental wellbeing you are able to feel relatively confident in yourself and have positive self-esteem. Additionally, you can feel and express a range of emotions.

It’s also our ability to handle the many things that come our way. Our mental health is something that is not commonly talked about, and therefore seems to have a lot of grey area around the subject. This makes it even more important to be talked about. The stigma surrounding mental health has built a wall around the topic. Conversations on mental health would end before they even began. The code of silence was (and still sometimes is) real. Let’s work here to break down that wall. 

It’s important we start the conversation because maybe someone might never know that their mental health is connected to their physical health. That’s right; the correlation between an upset stomach and racing thoughts is valid! For many, it’s a relief to know that what they’re feeling is normal. For most, the only way to come to this realization is by talking about it and listening to others talk about it. 

Stressors in our lives will have a substantial impact on our mental health. As college students, we’re well accustomed to stress. I, for one, excel in the fine art of procrastination. I call it an art because the amount of finesse it takes to turn-in an assignment thirty seconds before the submission deadline is one that is is gained only through rigorous practice. I can confidently say this negatively affects my mental health. In our presentation, we talked about the stress curve. I’m sure I won’t be the first to admit that I often find myself in the “zone of delusion”. I may think that I’m doing my best work when in reality I’m not. This kind of stress may only be short-term, but that still is impacting my mental health, as mentioned.

We know that both short-term and long term stress will impact our mental health. If you’re familiar with Hope For The Day (a non-profit supporting proactive mental health awareness and suicide prevention), you might know a little about their soda bottle example. If none of this rings a bell for you, allow me to explain. Think of your mind like a bottle of soda. Stressors of the day, or the month, or the year, etc. all build pressure in our “soda bottle” mind. Without any relief, the pressure would build and we would explode. Think of that stage as a crisis stage requiring immediate intervention. We all have different thresholds. To alleviate some of this pressure we need to make use of “valves” – things that help us decompress and as the word suggests, valve! Personally, I find that making art or working out has become valuable ways to let off pressure in my soda bottle mind but it’s important to understand the actual act of self-care versus coping. They are close, though not identical. Coping strategies help us in the short-term. Long-term success is made easier when we develop healthy self-care strategies. Self-care and coping strategies work together to further improve our mental health and wellbeing. 

Self-care can do wonders in the short term but not every human struggle can be relieved with a simple act of self-care. Medically diagnosable disorders are more complex than just the average stressful day at the office. Biology plays a major role in mental health. A simple prescription can help balance the body’s natural chemicals when something may be off. There’s a common idea that taking medicine is weak. I’m here to tell you that’s the furthest thing from the truth. You’re not weak for taking an aspirin when you have a headache and you’re not weak for taking an anti-depressant when there’s a chemical imbalance in the brain. If we saw someone walking around with a broken ankle we wouldn’t tell them to shake it off; we’d get them professional medical care. We should be doing the same for mental health. I’m going to borrow a well-known phrase here, (another HFTD plug, sorry.) “It’s ok not to be ok.”

As always, all of us at Health Promotion & Wellness are here to support you and if you ever need anything, please, reach out. Our contact information is found on our website where you can set up an appointment or just give us a call and say “hey!”. Outside of DePaul Resources, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-8255, but if you or someone you know is experiencing an emergency and in need of immediate help, dial 911. 

By breaking the silence we tear down the stigma surrounding mental health. Be proactive. Be productive. Start the conversation. 

You can view the corresponding Wellness Wednesday workshop video here!

Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) Round Table

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To honor Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) in April, HPW had a live roundtable around supporting survivors of abusive relationships, whether it’s sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or financial abuse. This blog covers all of the important details of that conversation. Sadly, a lot of survivors right now may not be able to escape their abusive situations. Many people currently can’t leave their houses or go to a friend’s place to escape due to the current pandemic we are living through. Financial situations are also exacerbated right now and may make it even tougher for some to leave an abusive relationship. In our roundtable the other week, we talked about how to be an ally to those in this tricky situation. Watch here, or read on!

What exactly does abuse look like?

Stereotypically, when we think of an abusive relationship, we think of physical abuse. But abuse can be of a physical nature, and emotional one, a sexual one, or a financial one. Abuse does not need to be put into a box, and it’s important to keep this in mind when supporting survivors. Really, at the end of the day, abuse occurs when the power and control in a relationship is shifted to be completely one sided.

 

So, in what ways might we go about supporting someone who is experiencing abuse?

Remaining available to someone in an abusive relationship is one of the most helpful things you can do. There are three great ways to do this: 1) Ask a question, 2) Listen up, and 3) Stay connected. Let’s look at each of these closer.

Ask a question: Asking a question as simple as “Hey, how is it going?” and then really listening to what the person has to say can make worlds of a difference.

Listen up: When you listen, you must listen without having your own agenda. You are listening to hear what this person’s perspective on their situation is. Active listening techniques can be used here to support your loved one. Examples of some things you may say after listening are:

  • “I don’t even know what to say right now, but I’m so glad you told me.”
  • “I’m so sorry that this is happening to you, and I am here to support you.”
  • “I believe you” – saying this and truly meaning it is crucial in supporting a survivor – it is not our place to play detective in these situations; most survivors tell the truth about their abuse, and it can be quite harmful to not believe somebody who has put their trust in you in this situation.

Stay connected: Staying connected can be crucial in supporting a survivor because when a survivor is isolated from outside support, the abuser tends to have more power over them. Your loved one may not be reaching out simply because they can’t, not because they don’t want or need support. Every once in a while, try being the first one to reach out – this can act as a lifeline to your loved one. Avoid ultimatums; although it might be easy to say something along the lines of, “If you don’t leave this person by [said time] I cannot continue to be friends with you,” this is simply not what your loved one needs to hear right now. Abuse does not follow any specific timeline, and there are many reasons why someone may not be able to leave an abusive relationship right away, not to mention it could be quite dangerous to leave an abusive relationship at certain times (more on this below). Tough love is not what people need in these circumstances.

Supporting a Survivor Dos and Don’ts

Don’t: Tell someone to leave – the leaving part of an abusive relationship is the most dangerous phase of the relationship: the point when someone leaves and six weeks after this is the time that this person is most likely to be killed.

Do: Work with your loved one to create a safety plan with tangible steps for this person to use when the time comes that they are able to leave.

Don’t: When it comes to sexual abuse, do not ask your loved one victim-blaming questions. Your initial response in certain cases might be to ask questions such as, “How did this happen – didn’t you cover your drink? What were you wearing when this happened?” But these questions simply contribute to a culture of victim blaming that takes the blame off of the perpetrator and puts it onto the survivor instead.

Do: Reinforce that you believe and support your loved one.

Don’t: Make it about you and your own personal desires as they relate to the situation. Supporting someone who is experiencing abuse consists of allowing the survivor to still have their autonomy. They are otherwise already losing autonomy in their relationship, so when we come in and tell them what to do – i.e. “You should file a police report” – it takes the autonomy away from the survivor. Let them make these decisions on their own time, and support them while they move through it.

Do: Seek help for yourself if you need it personally, but leave your opinions out of your loved one’s decisions.

 

What should you do if you think that your loved one is in a situation that could potentially be very dangerous?

If you hear that something that makes you concerned your loved one is in immediate danger (they are isolated, being monitored or stalked, or the person has a weapon), you – or both of you together – can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to come up with a plan to stay as safe as possible.

Note: It is very important to understand that some societal structures and resources may be safe for certain populations to use, but not for others. (i.e., a person of color may not be comfortable making a call to the police as police are notorious for not supporting the black community equally in comparison to their white counterparts). Don’t assume that calling the police is a given in these situations – it is best to understand the ways in which your loved one might be affected by these societal structures first, and then make a sound decision on next steps.

 

How to Talk to Someone Who is Causing Harm

Abuse, coercion, and control are incredibly common… people that cause harm might be the same people we love and care about. If we are going to address the harm that is being caused, we must learn how to talk to those causing the harm as well. When talking to someone who is causing harm in a relationship, you can use the same tactics as you might when talking to a survivor – 1) Ask a question, 2) Listen up, and 3) Stay connected. Think about how you would like to be treated if you were causing harm, and approach this person the same way. ‘Call the person in’ versus ‘calling them out.’ People don’t listen when they are called out – by inviting the person causing harm to have an open and constructive conversation about their behavior, you might have a better chance of getting through to them. It is important to recognize that change will only be made if both sides are engaged in the conversation. Currently, our justice system focuses more on punishing than restorative justice, but restorative justice can prove to be largely important in enacting change rather than simply perpetuating the norm.

How can I take care of myself when supporting a survivor?

You are actually considered a ‘secondary survivor’ when you are supporting a survivor as this process can be quite emotionally taxing for you as well. So, make sure to take care of yourself through it all, and try to recognize your limits:

  • Practice grounding techniques – breathing exercises can serve as a great way to ground yourself. Box breathing is one good technique to try – there are many others as well.
  • Don’t get so completely invested that you forget about other pieces of your own life/your health, recovery, and healing. You have a responsibility to yourself as first and foremost – we can’t help others if we aren’t doing well ourselves.
  • Keeping healthy boundaries in all relationships is crucial, especially when it comes to supporting a survivor. What are your boundaries and what can you give? What is your personal threshold? Keep these questions in mind as you are helping your loved one, and never feel guilty for taking a step back to preserve your own mental health.

 

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for sticking with us! We hope that you learned something new and are feeling more prepared to help. Remember, take care of yourself, take care of each other, take care DePaul! <3

xoxo,

HPW

Wellness Wednesday – Healthy Relationships

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Hello everybody! Welcome back to yet another Wellness Wednesday blog post from yours truly, the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness (and our guest speakers at Mission and Ministry!). If you’d like to view the video version of this Wellness Wednesday click here, otherwise read on!

 

 

 

 

 

This Wellness Wednesday we were lucky enough to have Mission and Ministry join us for a conversation around healthy relationships during COVID-19. Keep reading for a look into Vinny and Louise’s relationship and how it relates to the times (Mission and Ministry) as well as some of HPW’s tips for maintaining healthy relationships during quarantine!

A message from Mission and Ministry: “You’ve hopefully learned some stories about Vincent and Louise during your time at DePaul. We don’t always talk about the collaborative relationship they had – this dynamic duo that we celebrate today shaped each other to be the leaders that we remember them to be. Vincent would not be Vincent if it were not for Louise’s leadership, and Louise would not have discovered her true purpose and calling if she had not first been sent forth by Vincent. This dynamic duo has much to teach us about healthy relationships.”

“So, learning from Vincent and Louise, what are some things we can do to ensure we are practicing holistic care and being in right relationships with one another?”

  • “We are not meant to balance everything at the same time! Sometimes we need to take off one of our hats and focus on another one.”
  • Boundary setting is something that Vincent and Louise helped each other to do well: “Before addressing any business, Louise and Vincent would take the time to check in with each other. Their letters show that they were not only professional collaborators, but personable friends as well. They would do check-ins asking each other how they were and how their health was doing. Vincentians recognize that healthy relationships are essential for carrying out a shared vision. We can’t do it alone!”
  • “Authentic collaboration takes work – it takes listening, building relationships, understanding where someone is coming from, putting ourselves in others’ shoes, letting go of our agenda, failing, picking ourselves back up and trying again, apologizing and asking for forgiveness. It means being vulnerable and courageous and speaking your truth with love.”
  • Read on to hear more about boundary setting and healthy relationships from HPW!

When we discuss healthy relationships during COVID-19, it might be helpful to break this into two categories: 1) How to maintain healthy relationships and boundaries while living in close quarters with others at home, and 2) How to stay connected with friends and family who are miles away from home. The first section of HPW’s advice below will cover this first point, and the second half will cover the latter point. Read on, reader!

 

What does a healthy relationship at home look like during COVID-19?

First and foremost, it is important to acknowledge that everyone’s living situation looks different right now. Some of us are staying with family, some are staying with roommates, some are staying with a partner, and some even have kids at home to deal with! Some of us may be staying alone in isolation – away from family and friends. And some may be dealing with a toxic home environment. Understanding that we are all coming from different places is important as it can allow us to have more empathy towards each other’s situations and realize that everyone is struggling in a different way (and can use support in a different way).

 

Second of all, it is important to take care of yourself first! It can be tough to give yourself to others/be in relationships with others when you haven’t had a chance to show yourself some love first. That’s why right now, especially, it is important to show yourself some love and care. What does this look like? Here are some tips: make sure you are getting a good night’s rest (see our previous blog for tips on refreshing your sleep), get outside, take a shower and do some skincare, eat healthy foods – you get the idea. Humans are sort of like plants, we need sunshine, water, and nutrients too! Remembering these three simple tenets makes for a healthy day. If possible, try to do at least one thing per day that is just plain fun, like doing yoga, savoring your morning coffee, playing a board game, or reading a chapter of a good book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another important tenet to relationships right now (and always) is boundary setting. Now especially it is important to create your boundaries and stick to them. Living in such close quarters with loved ones can be very enjoyable, but it can also be very tricky. Without any boundaries, we tend to get worn down over time, and don’t always show up as the best versions of ourselves. Remember, boundaries look different for everyone. Perhaps your sister is better at spending constant time socializing with your family, but maybe you need a little more alone time – don’t let anybody make you feel bad for this – we are all different, and as long as we use respect when setting boundaries, it’s no harm no foul! One way of upholding boundaries can simply be creating a physical space to spend time by yourself every once and a while. Find space in your house for your own personal time. If you have a big family and/or no privacy, take morning walks by yourself or with a pet. Take time to collect yourself and spend time with your own thoughts. Sometimes when we constantly spend time around others, we lose track of what it is that is going on in our own minds – it is important to revive this by spending some time alone, no matter how extraverted you are.

If quarantine is proving to be a really tough time for you and you are struggling to maintain a healthy living situation during all of this, seek support. Although they do look different now, resources are still available to you. The Office of Health Promotion and Wellness is still taking virtual appointments via Zoom. Feel free to call us at 773-325-7129 or complete the online intake form on our website (https://offices.depaul.edu/student-affairs/about/departments/Pages/hpw.aspx) to schedule your one on one with one of our professional staff members. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is still up and running as well at 1-800-799-7233. If you are unable to speak on the phone without being overheard, you can also text LOVEIS to 22522. If you would simply like to chat with HPW about more resources at your disposal during this tough time, we are available for that as well via appointment at the contact information mentioned above.

 

What does it look like to maintain healthy relationships while social distancing?

Having a tough time staying connected with loved ones who are farther away or not in your house during COVID-19? You’ve come to the right place. The following are some tips for finding community and connection during this virtual reality we are currently living in.

  • Missing loved ones who live farther away? Set up a recurring zoom call with friends or family. Having a set time each week to talk can provide you with something to look forward to! It doesn’t need to be long if you’re not up for it – even just seeing loved one’s faces briefly can help light up a day or week!
  • If it’s possible in the state that you are living in currently, you can do outdoor activities with others who live nearby, but at a distance, such as going on walks at a 6 feet distance from each other, or putting out lawn chairs to sit and chat outside – just keep your distance here as well.
  • If you miss being able to sit with a loved one and watch a movie or show together, you can use Netflix Party to watch shows at the exact same time while having access to a chat bar as well. You could even Zoom during a show or a movie so that you can have live reactions to it as well! Simply share your screen, mute yourselves when the show/movie is going, and pause to have conversation in between.
  • If you’re someone who misses having in person intellectual conversations with others, you could have a virtual book club with a friend or family member. Simply read the same book at the same time and have periodic Zoom calls with discussion questions to chat about after each chapter or so!
  • If you’re done with so much screen time, but still looking for a meaningful way to stay in touch with loved ones, send notes in the mail. This can be such a nice surprise, especially during these tough times. If you have a printer at home, you could even print out pictures of yourself with the person you’re sending a note to and include those as well!
  • Another kind gesture to a family member or friend who lives nearby could be leaving a baked good, a note, a small art project, or a small gift on a friend’s doorstep for them to find later on.
  • Does one of your loved ones have a birthday during these tough times? If they live nearby you, have a drive by parade for them with signs on each car! If they live farther away, throw a virtual party for them. Reach out to their loved ones and schedule a Zoom call for a specific time – have everyone show up with drinks (of any kind) to ‘cheers’ the person on their special day! You can even incorporate some kind words by having everyone prepare a small speech about that person ahead of time, if you would like.
  • If you are tired of living in our current reality, make some future plans with pals. Obviously, some details will need to be left out for now, as booking travel and hotels is a no go currently, but you can plan generally for where you might want to go and what you might want to do when all of this is over!
  • Simply looking to have some fun and take a break from it all? Kick back with a virtual game night complete with snacks, drinks… the whole 9 yards. Trivia games are easy ones to play via Zoom, but get creative and come up with some other game ideas as well!

Again, it is important to remember that boundaries are still important, even when it comes to online relationships (check out our blog on establishing healthy boundaries for tips on this!).

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for joining us! Hopefully at least one of these tips regarding healthy relationships during COVID-19 has resonated with you. Again, if you are struggling to cope right now and are seeking some support, our office is always here as a resource. Feel free to call us at 773-325-7129 or complete the online intake form on our website (https://offices.depaul.edu/student-affairs/about/departments/Pages/hpw.aspx) to schedule your one on one with one of our professional staff members. Hang in there everybody! We will get through this – together!  

Wellness Wednesday- Mindfulness & Gratitude

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What are you grateful for today?

Hey pals, welcome back for another edition of HPW’s Wellness Wednesday series. Today’s theme is mindfulness and gratitude.

Photo provided by Mindful.org

Mindfulness consists of gaining self-awareness and acceptance towards one’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions without judgment. Below are some mindfulness activities that we encourage you to try!

  1. Meditation

Meditation embraces the present moments by training your body and mind to be relaxed. Find a comfortable place to sit, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Check out The Division of Mission and Ministry’s latest guided Midday Meditation.

  1. Starting the Day with Intentionality

This practice is at best after you wake up in the morning, before starting your work and/or school day and before you check your phone. The first step is to sit up in your bed or sit on a chair with your back straight and close your eyes. Take three long, deep breaths. Then ask yourself “What is my intention for today?” or use these prompts to guide you:

How might I show up today to have the best impact?

What quality of mind do I want to strengthen and develop?

What do I need to take better care of myself?

During difficult moments, how might I be more compassionate to others and myself?

How might I feel more connected and fulfilled?

The next step is to set your intention for the day, make it plan, and write it down.

“Today, I will focus on being kind to and myself”

“Today, I will focus on completing as much as I can until 5:00 PM”

Then throughout your day, check-in with yourself by re0visitng your intention statement.

  1. Five Senses Activity The goal of this exercise is to keep yourself grounded in the present moment by noticing your surroundings.

What are 5 things that you can see?

What are 4 things that you can feel?

What are 3 things you can hear?

What are 2 things you can smell?

What is 1 thing that you can taste?

  1. Mindful Breathing for One Minute.

For one minute, focus on your breathing. Breathe in through your nostrils and out through your mouth. Place your hand on your stomach and notice how your hand gently rises and falls with your breath.

  1. STOP

S: Stand up.  Stand up, close your eyes, and breathe slowly and deeply.

T: Tune in to your body. Notice your bodily sensations, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Breathe in positivity and breathe out negativity.

O: Observe. Open your eyes, observe your surroundings. Lift your eyes and take in your surroundings. Be grateful for your surroundings and embrace the beauty of it.
P: Possibility. Ask yourself what is possible? What is new? What is your next forward step?

For more mindfulness activities, click here.

The Science of Mindfulness

Research studies show that mindfulness decreases anxiety, reduction in perceived stress, decrease depressive symptoms, and improves on emotional and mental well-being. There is an online program that is called  Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR). It is an eight-week evidence-based program that offers mindfulness training to help individuals with their stress, anxiety, depression, and pain.

When engaging in this mindfulness training, MBSR studies show that the left frontal activity of the brain is enhanced which means that the brain is developing resilience. Studies also show that there also an improvement in our immune system when we engage in mindfulness activities. So, our bodies’ ability to fight infection starts to improve when we engage in mindfulness. MBSR studies also show that having mindfulness activities as a part of a treatment plan for individuals who have mental health illnesses, such as drug addiction, obsessive-compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder helps prevent relapse from depression. 

 

Expressing gratitude is another mindfulness activity. Expressing gratitude is showing thankfulness and appreciation to someone, including yourself.

 

Here are some ways to practice gratitude:

  1. Praising the Small Victories.

There is success in the small victories too so let us celebrate them. Remember that progress matters, not perfection. You are still winning, even if it is a small win. Claim your victory.

  1. Keep a Gratitude Journal

Photo provided by positivepsychology.com

Daily, write down the things that you are thankful/grateful for. Start writing down “I am thankful for…”. Once you start, it is hard to stop. After you start writing a list then you will recognize the many blessings that you have received.

  1. Writing an Appreciation or a Love Letter to You and/or a Loved One

Sometimes we emotionally and mentally beat ourselves up to more than we show appreciation to ourselves. Today, we encourage you to give yourself some grace by writing an appreciation or a love letter to yourself. We also sometimes forget to show appreciation and love to our family and friends, so we encourage you to take some time to write a love/appreciation letter to them.

  1. Verbally Telling your Loved One What You Appreciate Them For

Tell your friend and/or family friend how much you appreciate them and remind them that you appreciate them.

For more gratitude activities, click here.

The Science of Gratitude

Research studies show that expressing gratitude increases one’s happiness, energy, self-esteem, and strengthens resiliency. Studies also show it decreases chronic pain levels and reduces blood pressure levels. Showing gratitude starts the production of dopamine and serotonin which are our “feel-good neurotransmitters”. Gratitude also stimulates the hypothalamus and the ventral tegmental area. The hypothalamus’ role is to keep the body in homeostasis, which means to make sure everything is balanced. So, this part of the brain regulates stress and the ventral tegmental area is involved in developing and expressing feelings and emotions such as feelings of pleasure.

Also, the more you practice gratitude, the more you train your prefrontal cortex to retain positive thoughts, emotions, and experiences and kick out the negativity.

Remember, mindfulness & gratitude are not about invalidating difficult emotions—it’s about acceptance. 

Click here for the recorded Wellness Wednesday Zoom session.

Wellness Wednesday- Refresh Sleep

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One of the most important activities in our day is sleep. It is as important as food, water, and air and very much an active period in our day. Scientists are still looking into how and why our bodies are programmed for sleep, but what we do understand is sleep’s critical function and why we need it for optimal health and well-being. In today’s Wellness Wednesday we talked about sleep, but more so how to refresh our sleep. Watch a recording of of it right here.

For university students, good sleep may sometimes be difficult to achieve. You may find yourself pulling all-nighters, feeling groggy during the day, or even find yourself constantly waking up during the night. While studying and ensuring assignments are turned in on time are important for university students, so is sleep!

There are two basic types of sleep; non-rapid eye movement (NREM) and rapid eye movement (REM). Sleep begins with NREM  which occurs within minutes or even seconds of falling asleep. NREM is marked by stages 1 to 4, with stage 2 being repeated before finally entering REM sleep. REM is usually achieved about 90 minutes after the onset of sleep. REM usually lasts only a short time at first but lengthens with each cycle and can last up to an hour.

Stages of Sleep – The Dream Merchant's Shop

So why should you care or even invest in sleep resources? Sleep helps to improve our memory, and decreases stress and anxiety. It is vital for both physical neurological reasons. Sleep helps to repair tissues throughout the body and helps to strengthen our immune system. It’s important to remember that quality sleep improves the brain’s ability to consolidate and process factual information. With good sleep, the brain can better collect and store memories, which is helpful not just in our academic lives, but in all aspects. What would happen if we didn’t get enough sleep? Well, lack of sleep has often been linked to decreased memory, poor immune function, cardiovascular disease, impaired judgement and depression among other health issues.

Now you’ve had the what, asked the why, so here’s the how. As we continue to social distance and stay at home, it is important to keep healthy sleep habits. Things such as alcohol, caffeine, and even technology can interfere in our quality of sleep.  Here are three easy measures you can take right now to refresh your sleep.

  1. Utilize technology

Sleep apps, circadian alarm clocks, or even white noise devices can help you get a more restful sleep. They can help with logging sleep, doing meditation before bed, and even mimic natural sunlight to wake you up more naturally.

 

  1. Keep a sleep journal or routine

A sleep routine is a series of actions you can perform each night before going to bed. These actions can help prepare your mind and body for rest. A sleep routine can help you fall asleep more easily and stay asleep during the night. Your routine is unique to you! Make it yours! Some examples of things you can include are creating a cozy environment, making sure your room is at the right temperature, quiet and dark, reading a chapter from a book or using a diffuser.

 

  1. Try Mindfulness meditation

Studies show that mindfulness meditation is helpful for sleep because it evokes a relaxation response by breaking your train of thought. This technique involves focusing on your breathing and bringing your mind to the present, focusing on the now rather than the past or future. Mindfulness can be practiced at any time of the day and doesn’t have to be done for a long period of time. Even a minute or two can help in practicing mindfulness.

 

So what are you doing to refresh your sleep?

If you’d like more information on how to refresh your sleep make sure to sign up for our Refresh Sleep email-based program by midnight on April 22, 2020. Sign up with this link: https://tinyurl.com/r78xoee

 

 

 

Wellness Wednesday – Sexual Assault Awareness Month

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to another edition of Wellness Wednesday with the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness! Today’s theme was centered around SAAM, otherwise known as Sexual Assault Awareness Month. As you may have heard, April is the month to raise awareness of issues surrounding sexual violence, support survivors, and speak out about the issue of sexual violence and its impact in all of our communities. The recorded Wellness Wednesday Zoom session can be found and watched at this link:

In today’s Wellness Wednesday session, our guest of honor was the esteemed Hannah Retzkin, a case manager in the Title IX office here at DePaul University. Hannah provided an introduction into the world of supporting survivors and everything that the reporting process entails. There are an extensive amount of options for a survivor to pursue at the University should they choose to disclose their experience. In the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness, professional staff members are Survivor Support Advocates. This signifies a safe space for students to express as little or as much information as they choose, without the expectation that they must file a report against the perpetrator. This is an amazing resource for students to learn about their options and turn to someone for support without having to follow through with the University or legal process if they do not wish to do so. Survivor Support Advocates differ from other professional staff members or faculty at the University, as these professions are classified as mandated reporters. If a student discloses an experience related to sexual violence to a mandated reporter, the employee will be required to inform the Title IX office of the student’s experience.

For students who do wish to file a report documenting their experiences, there are several paths one could choose. A student could disclose to a mandated reporter, as they will be directed to the Title IX office. A student could also go directly to Title IX and begin the University process. Generally, a student will be given a set of options as to how they wish to proceed. Students will be placed in contact with the Sexual Assault Prevention Specialist in the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness. As previously mentioned, this staff member is a confidential resource and provides a space for students to talk through and thoroughly understand their options.

The Title IX office, located within the Dean of Students Office, is tasked with protecting against discrimination on the basis of sex including sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, sexual violence, domestic violence, and stalking. These protections stem from DePaul University’s commitment to valuing the dignity of all people, and seeks to implement best practices related to education, prevention, and holistic support of survivors. Through Title IX, DePaul will not tolerate sexual and relationship violence on any level and will work to address incidents and reports swiftly and equitably, according to DePaul’s Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention and Response Policy, which can be found in University Policies and Procedures.

 

There are three main processes available to survivors who wish to report. The processes include the University process, the criminal process, or a civil lawsuit. The criminal process involves reporting to the police and proceeding with a criminal complaint. With this option, a survivor may also choose to obtain a protective or restraining order from the court. A civil lawsuit, which does not require criminal charges to be filed, may be used as an opportunity to recover damages, such as compensation for medical expenses, lost wages, pain, suffering, and emotional distress. If choosing to follow the University process, Title IX will start an investigation into the incident in order to determine if University policy against sexual violence was violated. If so, disciplinary sanctions may include probation, suspension, or dismissal from the University. Disciplinary procedures through the University seek to always provide prompt, fair, and impartial processes and be conducted by officials who receive training on sexual and relationship violence from a trauma-informed perspective. Additionally, the Title IX coordinator will seeks to remain mindful of the survivor’s wellbeing and take ongoing steps to help create a safety plan and protect the student from further harm. Protective measures will be available to the student regardless of whether or not they seek help from the police, and other resources will be provided such as advocacy, mental health services, and legal assistance.

 

For students who seek resources from HPW, it is our goal to provide care from a trauma-informed approach. When supporting survivors, it is important to listen non-judgmentally, provide affirmations, and respect the choices of survivors while also empowering others with information, resources, and choices.

It is our hope that this week’s Wellness Wednesday provided helpful information related to sexual violence response plans on campus in the context of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Any remaining questions can be directed to the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness where we will be more than happy to answer questions related to sexual violence on campus, advocacy, survivor support services, and more.

Wellness Wednesdays- Establishing Healthy Boundaries

jamill Wellness Wednesdays

Welcome back to another installment of our Wellness Wednesday’s series! Over the past couple weeks we have been facilitating bite sized webinars covering different wellness topics.This week we will be covering creating healthy boundaries and what that looks like between different spaces such as relationships, careers, and personal boundaries.

Establishing boundaries is a fundamental part of forming one’s identity and is a significant component of mental health and well-being. Boundaries, as we will discuss can be physical, emotional, and even digital. They can range from being loose to rigid, with healthy boundaries often falling somewhere in between. Our first step to is understand what boundaries exactly are.

Generally speaking, “Healthy boundaries are those boundaries that are set to make sure mentally and emotionally you are stable” (Prism Health North Texas, n.d.). It a tool that helps us communicate to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others to define our own-self. Healthy boundaries allow us to separate who we are, and what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others. Their presence helps us express ourselves as the unique individuals we are, while we acknowledge the same in others. Our boundaries can be influenced by a number of things that make us who we are.

Our boundaries are shaped by

  • our heritage or culture
  • the region we live in or come from
  • whether we’re introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between
  • our life experiences
  • our family dynamics

(Healthline, 2020)

It is important to recognize that we all come from unique family experiences and different cultural that hold different values. This is why we find different meanings to situations that we may encounter. Our boundaries could change as our perspective shifts through the years. That is why there is not one stand alone standard for what our healthy boundaries should look like. Instead, each individual should explore what makes them feel comfortable within the context of who they are.

We can set boundaries for our

  • personal space
  • sexuality
  • emotions and thoughts
  • stuff or possessions
  • time and energy
  • culture, religion, and ethics

                (Healthline, 2020)

Boundaries offer us a sense of ownership over our physical environment, body, and sentiments. All of us carry thresholds when it comes to many things and boundaries communicates those limits.

Now let us continue to elaborate on why we need to establish healthy boundaries and their benefits!

 

  1.  Boundaries improve our relationships and self-esteem

Establishing healthy boundaries in a relationship allows both partners to feel comfortable and develop positive self-esteem. Boundaries safeguard relationships from becoming unsafe. A lot of times, we tend to focus on adjusting to others, taking time away from focusing on ourselves. Setting boundaries for yourself that reflect who you are and who you ultimately want to be will only enhance setting boundaries with your partner in a relationship. With that in consideration, they in fact bring us closer together than farther apart, and are therefore necessary in any relationship.

  1. Boundaries allow us to conserve our emotional energy and focus on self-care

Healthy boundaries are a crucial component of self-care. Your self-esteem and identity can be impacted, and you can build resentment toward others because of an inability to advocate for yourself. Boundaries that let us have different responses depending on the situation or person can also help you maintain enough energy to care for yourself. Setting healthy boundaries can have many benefits, including helping people make decisions based on what is best them, not just the people around them. This autonomy is an important part of self-care.

  1. Boundaries give us space to grow and be vulnerable

During times like these we all have complex feelings to a lot of whats going on. In setting boundaries and then breaking them, when the time is right, you’re showing your vulnerability. This could be as simple as talking openly to friends and family. When we display our vulnerability to someone, we let them know that they’re welcome to open up to us sometime when they need to. This nurtures a space to grow together and learn more about what our boundaries are in many different spaces.

 

Some all this talk about boundaries may leave you with the question of how do I create them in my personal, professional and digital spaces. Here are some steps to take that will help in creating these healthy boundaries:

(Healthline, 2020)

1. Be assertive

Assertiveness in creating boundaries is facilitated in being solidified but warm to others. Assertive language is clear and nonnegotiable, without criticizing or intimidating the recipient. You can be assertive by using “I statements.” I statements demonstrate confidence and good boundary setting by expressing thoughts, feelings, and opinions without worrying what others are thinking.

HOW TO USE I STATEMENTS

I feel ____ when _____ because ____________________________.

What I need is ______________________________________________.

Effective communication Ineffective communication
I feel violated when you read my journal because I value privacy. What I need is a space that I know is private to record my thoughts. Keep your hands off my journal!
I feel overwhelmed when every minute of our vacation is planned. What I need is some time just to relax and see what happens. You’re making this vacation exhausting, and I don’t want to do all the things you’ve planned.

2. Learn to say no   

This can be very difficult but some of us but it is important to know that “NO” is a complete sentence! You can say no without an explanation and without providing any emotional labor to the person you’re saying it to. If someone asks for your number or to dance, you can absolutely just say no. If a co-worker asks you to cover their shift, you can also say no, without offering any excuse.

3. Safeguard your spaces

You can also set boundaries for your stuff, physical and emotional spaces, and your time and energy without necessarily announcing it, too. The features on your tech devices offer some ways of doing this.

Savvy Boundary safeguards

  • Put private items in a locked drawer or box.
  • Schedule nonnegotiable alone time or time when you’re just doing your own thing.
  • Set a cut-off time for answering emails or texts.
  • Temporarily delete email and messaging apps when you don’t want to be contacted.
  • Use the Do Not Disturb feature on your phone and other devices.

Finally, this provides a perfect transition to the final boundary we’d like to cover that we carry everywhere we go. Digital boundaries intersect in a number of different spaces. It can be hard to know where the line between healthy and unhealthy is once a relationship goes online. What are the rules for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat? What should your digital relationship look like? Before you talk to your partner about your online relationship, check in with yourself to see what makes you feel comfortable. Start by considering your digital boundaries:

  • Is it okay to tag or check in?
  • Do we post our relationship status?
  • Is it okay to friend or follow my friends?
  • When is it okay to text me and what is the expectation for when we return it?
  • Is it okay to use each other’s devices?
  • Is it okay to post, tweet or comment about our relationship?

Conversely, we often encounter issues in establishing digital boundaries when it comes to our professional life. It is important to create professional safeguards so that we are taking care of ourselves and not overextending ourselves. If we fail to do this we run the risk of burnout and continued unhealthy habits. Here are some tips to create some healthy digital boundaries as it pertains to work:

 

Digital Boundary Safeguards

  • Set a cut-off time for answering emails or texts.
  • Use the “out of office” responder on email accounts when on vacation.
  • Set “after-office hours” ex. “7pm-9am I will not be taking work request”
  • Send verification of your time off days in advance.
  • Temporarily delete email and messaging apps when you don’t want to be contacted.
  • Use the Do Not Disturb feature on your phone and other devices.
  • Make a promise to yourself not to respond to work messages or calls sent to personal accounts
  • Ask yourself “Can this wait”. Communicate that you will answer later

Take Home Message:

Boundaries are all about respect and are a great way to make sure that each others needs are being met and that you feel safe in your relationship, career, and digitally!

 

Wellness Wednesdays – Using Substances during COVID-19

nsiddi11 Wellness Wednesdays

Welcome back to our virtual spring quarter! While we’re still getting adjusted to being indoors and adapting to our new routines, some of us might be looking towards social media for insight on what’s been going on and staying connected to our communities.

 

Click here to view the Wellness Wednesday Webinar on Substances and read below for more resources and an in-depth analysis of this week’s topic!

 

A recent trend I’ve noticed are challenges, particularly on Instagram, that allow you to pick a challenge, such as recording yourself complete a set of push-ups and tagging your friends. This challenge can range from posting baby pictures to taking shots of alcohol, the latter leading to potential harms and risks.

So, why is preventing substance misuse so important right now? We know smoking and drinking is common among college students but amidst this pandemic, can our habits lead to unintended consequences? Further, it’s important to consider that what’s seen as “normal” is not the same thing as “healthy.”

Let’s talk about why we even use substances, such as drugs and alcohol, in the first place. For some, using substances is a way to increase positive emotions and experiences, such as celebrating a friend’s birthday on Zoom and saying “cheers to that!” Indulging in substances is also a way to lessen negative emotions and experiences. Being isolated from friends and family can trigger feelings of depression and anxiety leading to drinking and using drugs to cope with these emotions. The reasons underlying why we use are valid – connection, celebration, coping, etc. However, especially during this time, it’s important to monitor our relationship use to be proactive and prevent use from escalating.

Use exists on a spectrum from substance use, substance misuse, to substance use disorder; substance use disorder then exists on a spectrum of mild, moderate, severe. It is important to recognize that healthy versus unhealthy use isn’t black-and-white – it’s not usually as easy as “my use is fine,” or “my use is a problem.”

So, when does use become misuse? Consider your relationship with use:

  • Reflect and monitor the frequency of use
  • the duration of use
  • if it negatively impacts any aspects of your life
  • if it is interrupting your ability to function
  • if it is negatively impacting your emotional wellbeing
  • if you’re using to self-medicate
  • if others have commented on your use being unhealthy.

Rather than looking at substance use as right or wrong/good or bad, consider your relationship to it – describe it like you would another type of relationship. For example, if your substance were a partner or friend, would you keep them in your life or break up with them? Is it predictable, mutual, balanced, and positive? Is it unpredictable, chaotic, and one-sided?

So, back to the reasons for using – is your use really meeting the need or addressing the reason for use? If use is meant to cope with depression, is it really helping? Maybe in the moment there is a short-term relief, but does it end up adding to a negative thought cycle? If we’re using substances to have fun, is every occasion of use fun or is it a few times? The fun experiences amplified in our memory while the negative experiences get blocked out?

Whether our substance use is healthy and effective or unhealthy and ineffective, we can create more opportunities and options by adding tools to our toolbox. If substance use is our only option for coping or unwinding, then there is an increased chance of developing an unhealthy relationship to it. Having plenty of options when looking to either have fun, destress, or cope, helps ensure we are not overly relying on substances to navigate the world.

We can practice passive and active coping skills to help balance our relationship with use. Passive coping skills allow us to distract and recalibrate. We can use them when we aren’t ready to dive into the issue at hand and need time before moving through the issue. After using a passive coping skill, the problem is still there, but we may be in a better mindset to handle it.

Some passive coping skills include:

  • TV
  • Sleeping
  • Puzzles
  • Reading

Sometimes passive coping skills and distractions are necessary, but they aren’t your only tools.

Active coping skills allow us to actually work through the issue at hand. After we use active coping skills, the problem is lessened and we feel (at least a little) better.

Some active coping skills include:

  • Therapy
  • Journaling
  • Talking things through
  • Mindfulness
  • Meditation
  • Using art (dance, painting, music making, etc) to express emotions

Now that we have a list of passive and active coping skills, what happens if we’re coping with cravings and urges? If you’re feeling an urge to use, try creating a buffer zone or moment of pause. Utilize a distraction technique or active coping skill (for example, I want to drink to destress, but before that I will call a friend or practice 5 minutes of meditation). Check in after that buffer zone and see if the urge has lessened. Cravings and urges are like emotions – they are temporary and will move through. If we can “surf the wave” of the craving/urge and notice it rise, peak, and then fall, we can avoid the automatic impulse to use and instead select a healthier tool from our toolbox. However, if we choose to use, having this buffer zone/pause will ensure use is informed and intentional.

We don’t need to wait until use is “a problem,” before adjusting our relationship to it. As mentioned before, use becomes misuse before it becomes a use disorder; it is progressive and develops over time, unlike switching it on or off. The more we understand our relationship to use and have a system of monitoring, the more we are setting ourselves up for success.

Here are some tips for getting support and being proactive:

For help cutting down, quitting, and/or understanding relationship to use:

Now that you’re feeling motivated to make some changes or be more intentional, remember it’s ok for motivation to fluctuate. Here are some ways to hold yourself accountable and set yourself up for success:

  • Consider making a list of commitments to monitor your use (I.e “I will know it’s time to cut down use if I start using x amount per week or spending x amount per week”)
  • Talk to others about your goals – sharing them aloud and writing them down can build motivation and accountability
  • Having a goal and having motivation for a goal are two separate things. We can have a goal and our low motivation to achieve it is a barrier for accomplishing it. One way to build motivation is to accurately understand where your motivation lies:
    • Write out your goal(s)
    • Then write your motivation for that goal on a scale of 1-10
    • Ask yourself why am I [insert number] and not [insert number below]? What is in this gap will inform what is motivating you
      • For example, why am I at a 6 and not 5?
      • We know motivation will go down over time; it’s important to identify our motivators so we can keep reinforcing them
    • Ask yourself why am I [insert number] and not [insert number above]? What is in this gap will inform what action steps are needed
      • For example, why am I at a 6 and not 7? What would being at a 7 look like?
      • It can be helpful to look at our motivation and goals incrementally. Rather than taking on the overwhelming task of going from a 6 on the motivation scale to a 10 (so overwhelming we are unlikely to take action), looking at the next number on the scale can encourage use and promote mastery, a key element in continuing in our goals

Since it is a challenging time to process our emotions and manage our time and space, it is important to consider the growth of our emotional and mental wellbeing. While substances can provide relief, help feel connected, or unwind, ultimately they can distract us from our potential and cause unintended harm. Instagram shot challenges might seem like a break from the mundane, seeing friends drinking and having fun, but it can also lead to dependence and misuse. Making sure we know our limits, prioritizing our health and wellbeing, and creating virtual space places for ourselves and our loved ones will empower us to take care of ourselves and our communities.

And with that, take care Depaul ☺

XOXO,

HPW

 

 

Hello world!

Image kwagne26 Wellness Wednesdays

Welcome to our very first blog post!

It has been a wild couple of weeks. We have been challenged in various capacities and are being thrust into technology at every moment of the day. It is our hope that we will all get through this stronger and with a deeper appreciation for the people in our lives.

To help you as we navigate these new and challenging times, HPW has created Wellness Wednesday’s, which will kick off the first week of spring quarter 2020. We will set aside 30 minutes at noon, every Wednesday of the quarter to provide you with bite sized wellness information. This is a time for our entire DePaul community, students, staff and faculty, to check-in with ourselves and one another, and spend time caring for our well-being. These will be facilitated by our HPW professional staff and our Health Education Action Team (HEAT). We will provide perspectives for our students, staff and faculty so that we can all take a beat to think about our well-being. Join us here on zoom every Wednesday at noon, starting next week!

 

For our kick-off week, we had an hour long webinar on Coping with Covid — you can click the below link for full access to the recording.

https://depaul.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=fa44a4bf-85ac-4207-9d79-ab89014bc49d

 

You can also, view our slides with this link 

 

But now, we wanted to provide some deeper resources and information related to our webinar that we hosted this week on Wednesday on “Coping with Covid.” We provided a framework written by Dr. Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap. He’s provided some practical steps for responding effectively to the covid-19 crisis, using the principles of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Below are the action steps that Dr. Russell has provided and we also provided his in-depth analysis of each action step. Below each, you will also find some examples we created to make it a bit more applicable! We thank Dr. Russell for providing a framework that will allow us to process, engage with our new normal and take strides to truly care for ourselves and others.

Take Care DePaul,

HPW

 

 

‘FACE COVID’

How to respond effectively to the Corona crisis

By Dr. Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap

 

F = Focus on what’s in your control

A = Acknowledge your thoughts & feelings

C = Come back into your body

E = Engage in what you’re doing

 

C = Committed action

O = Opening up

V = Values

I = Identify resources

D = Disinfect & distance

 

F = Focus on what’s in your control

The Corona crisis can affect us in many different ways: physically, emotionally, economically, socially, and psychologically. All of us are (or  soon will be) dealing with the very real challenges of widespread serious illness and the inabilities of healthcare systems to cope with it, social and community disruption, economic fallout and financial problems , obstacles and interruptions to many aspects of life … and the list goes on.

And when we are facing a crisis of any sort, fear and anxiety are inevitable; they are normal, natural responses to challenging situations infused with danger and uncertainty. It’s all too easy to get lost in worrying and ruminating about all sorts of things that are out of your control: what might happen in the future; how the virus might affect you or your loved ones or your community or your country or the world – and what will happen then – and so on. And while it’s completely natural for us to get lost in such worries, it’s not useful or helpful. Indeed the more we focus on what’s not in our control, the more hopeless or anxious we’re likely to feel.

So the single most useful thing anyone can do in any type of crisis – Corona-related or otherwise – is to: focus on what’s in your control.

You can’t control what happens in the future. You can’t control Corona virus itself or the world economy or how your government manages this whole sordid mess. And you can’t magically control your feelings, eliminating all that perfectly natural fear and anxiety. But you can control what you do – here and now. And that matters. Because what you do – here and now – can make a huge difference to yourself, and anyone living with you, and a significant difference to the community around you.

The reality is, we all have far more control over our behavior, than we do over our thoughts and feelings. So our number one aim is to take control of our behavior – right here and now – to respond effectively to this crisis.

This involves both dealing with our inner world – all our difficult thoughts and feelings – and our outer world – all the real problems we are facing. How do we do this? Well, when a big storm blows up, the boats in the harbor drop anchor – because if they don’t, they’ll get swept out to sea. And of course, dropping anchor doesn’t make the storm go away (anchors can’t control the weather) – but it can hold a boat steady in the harbor, until the storm passes in its own good time.

HPW thoughts:

  • Being an online student (something you can’t control right now) which includes perhaps living at home again and away from your friends. Pretty much missing that big part of social life at college. So instead focus on what is in our control: how can you set up your environment to be the most conducive to your studies and offer you’re a similar successful schedule like the one you had at school? Penciling in social zoom sessions, monitoring your screen time, getting enough sleep and eating food that energizes you – all things we can control to make our days the best they can be in this challenging time

 

Similarly, in an ongoing crisis, we’re all going to experience ‘emotional storms’: unhelpful thoughts spinning inside our head, and painful feelings whirling around our body. And if we’re swept away by that storm inside us, there’s nothing effective we can do. So the first practical step is to ‘drop anchor’, using the simple ACE formula:

A = Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings

C = Come back into your body

E = Engage in what you’re doing

 

Let’s explore these one by one:

 

A = Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings

Silently and kindly acknowledge whatever is ‘showing up’ inside you: thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, sensation, urges. Take the stance of a curious scientist, observing what’s going on in your inner world.

And while continuing to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, also ….

HPW thoughts:

  • Note your thoughts and feelings – are your thoughts and feeling saying the same thing or are they in different modes? Sometimes our brain is busy processing and preparing us to move forward while our emotions are feeling something else. As these days move, we get overloaded with a lot of information old and new and it is easy to jump from one feeling or thought to the next as we become consumed with all things related to covid. Covid-19 is affecting every part of our lives and just the mere word can invoke strong reactions from us emotionally, physically and mentally.
  • So, note your thoughts and feelings and sit with them. Journal them if you like! And let yourself feel all the range of emotions that you have around covid-19. It is okay to be happy, worried, unsure, relieved, whatever it is just feel it – it’s okay

 

C = Come back into your body

Come back into and connect with your physical body. Find your own way of doing this. You could try some or all of the following, or find your own methods:

  • Slowly pushing your feet hard into the floor.
  • Slowly straightening up your back and spine; if sitting, sitting upright and forward in your chair.
  • Slowly pressing your fingertips together
  • Slowly stretching your arms or neck, shrugging your shoulders.
  • Slowly breathing

 

Note: you are not trying to turn away from, escape, avoid or distract yourself from what is happening in your inner world. The aim is to remain aware of your thoughts and feelings, continue to acknowledge their presence …. and at the same time, come back into and connect with your body, and actively move it. Why? So you can gain as much control as possible over your physical actions, even though you can’t control your feelings. (Remember, F = Focus on what’s in your control) And as you acknowledge your thoughts & feelings, and come back into your body, also ….

HPW thoughts:

  • It can be so easy to let our brain do all the work thinking about all the ways to cope and get through this difficult time. And as you are adjusting to your new life as an online student/employee, remember that we have to work extra hard to get some more movement in our days. Instead of walking to each class or to the student center or the ray – we are walking from our bedroom to our made up student office or living area and kitchen – and/or all of this might be in one room if we are in a studio apartment!! Regardless we are all living in a much smaller world than we are used to. Create space to stretch throughout the day, get outside and walk/run and just slow down and close your eyes and breathe. Remember that wherever you are you always have your breath. Close your eyes and feel yourself in your body – feel the breath in your body and let it flow throughout you

 

E = Engage in what you’re doing

Get a sense of where you are and refocus your attention on the activity you are doing.

Find your own way of doing this. You could try some or all of the following suggestions, or find your own methods:

  • Look around the room and notice 5 things you can see.
  • Notice 3 or 4 things you can hear.
  • Notice what you can smell or taste or sense in your nose and mouth
  • Notice what you are doing
  • End the exercise by giving your full attention to the task or activity at hand. (And if you don’t have any meaningful activity to do, see the next 3 steps.)

Ideally, run through the ACE cycle slowly 3 or 4 times, to turn it into a 2- 3 minute exercise.

If you wish, to help you get the hang of this, you can download some free audio recordings of ‘dropping anchor’ exercises, varying from 1 minute to 11 minutes in length. You can listen to these and use them as a guide to help you develop this skill. You can download or stream them from the left hand box on this webpage: https://www.actmindfully.com.au/freestuff/free-audio/

NOTE: please don’t skip the A of ACE; it’s so important to keep acknowledging the thoughts and feelings present, especially if they are difficult or uncomfortable. If you skip the A, this exercise will turn into a distraction technique – which it’s not supposed to be.

Dropping anchor is a very useful skill. You can use it for handling difficult thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, urges and sensations more effectively; switching off auto-pilot and engaging in life; grounding and steadying yourself in difficult situations; disrupting rumination, obsessing and worrying; and focusing your attention on the task or activity you are doing. The better you anchor yourself in the here and now, the more control you have over your actions – which makes it a lot easier to do the next steps: COVID

HPW thoughts:

  • It can be a really difficult time to set some boundaries as we think about our lives confined in our homes right now and staying focused can be a challenge. To stay focused, sometimes we need to ground ourselves – take screen breaks and look around your room – maybe light a scented candle or open the window to reset and be able to fully dive into whatever assignment or class you are working on. Take breaks and than dive back into your work rather than auto piloting through the entire day. Get acquainted with your body mentally and physically so you can understand its cues of when it is time to take a break and “refill your cup.”

 

C = Committed Action

Committed action means effective action, guided by your core values; action you take because it’s truly important to you; action you take even if it brings up difficult thoughts and feelings. Once you have dropped anchor, using the ACE formula, you will have a lot of control over your actions – so this makes it easier to do the things that truly matter.  Now obviously that includes all those protective measures against Corona – frequent handwashing, social distancing, and so on. But in addition to those fundamentals of effective action, consider:

What are simple ways to look after yourself, those you live with, and those you can realistically help? What kind, caring, supportive deeds you can do?  Can you say some kind words to someone in distress – in person or via a phone call or text message?  Can you help someone out with a task or a chore, or cook a meal, or hold someone’s hand, or play a game with a young child?  Can you comfort and soothe someone who is sick? Or in the most serious of cases, nurse them and access whatever medical assistance is available?

And if you’re spending a lot more time at home, through self-isolation or forced quarantine, or social distancing, what are the most effective ways to spend that time?  You may want to consider physical exercise to stay fit, cooking (as) healthy food (as possible, given restrictions), and doing meaningful activities by yourself or with others.  And if you’re familiar with acceptance and commitment therapy or other mindfulness-based approaches, how can you actively practice some of those mindfulness skills?

Repeatedly throughout the day, ask yourself ‘What can I do right now – no matter how small it may be – that improves life for myself or others I live with, or people in my community?’ And whatever the answer is – do it, and engage in it fully.

HPW thoughts:

  • What do others need? How can I help someone’s day get better? Maybe just a quick text to check in on a friend or a phone call to a loved one. Even though we cannot see all the people we like and care about as much, we can use our technology to stay connected and let others know that we are there for them. Set up weekly zoom chats to socialize with your friends from schoOO. Staff/Faculty, you can still schedule virtual chats, standing check-in meetings and even social hours. Make time to support one another and utilize some of the resources DePaul has like OSI’s new DEN network and some other department’s virtual offerings like HPW’s Wellness Wednesday Zoom sessions!!

 

O = Opening up

Opening up means making room for difficult feelings and being kind to yourself. Difficult feelings are guaranteed to keep on showing up as this crisis unfolds: fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, guilt, loneliness, frustration, confusion, and many more.  We can’t stop them from arising; they’re normal reactions. But we can open up and make room for them: acknowledge they are normal, allow them to be there (even though they hurt), and treat ourselves kindly.

Remember, self-kindness is essential if you want to cope well with this crisis – especially if you are in a caregiver role. If you’ve ever flown on a plane, you’ve heard this message: ‘In event of an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.’ Well, self kindness is your own oxygen mask; if you need to look after others, you’ll do it a whole lot better if you’re also taking good care of yourself.

So ask yourself, ‘If someone I loved was going through this experience, feeling what I am feeling – if I wanted to be kind and caring towards them, how would I treat them? How would I behave towards them? What might I say or do?’ Then try treating yourself the same way.

For more on self-kindness, also known as self-compassion, read this eBook: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1__Q3UcT9Q8VuSbiRm7x7-xjaxy5xkrba/view?usp=sharing

HPW thoughts:

  • I think this one is my favorite – I see this one as what do you to support your well-being?? This can change from moment to moment and day by day. I challenge you to ask yourself this every day and from moment to moment -– what do you need to support your well-being and thrive the best you can under these circumstances? Today it might be that extra 30 minutes of sleep and tomorrow it might mean some extra time away from the screen after your finished with your work. Commit to caring for yourself every day.
  • TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER, TAKE CARE DEPAUL

 

V = Values

Committed action should be guided by your core values: What do you want to stand for in the face of this crisis? What sort of person do you want to be, as you go through this? How do you want to treat yourself and others?

Your values might include love, respect, humor, patience, courage, honesty, caring, openness, kindness …. or numerous others. Look for ways to ‘sprinkle’ these values into your day. Let them guide and motivate your committed action.

Of course, as this crisis unfolds, there will be all sorts of obstacles in your life; goals you can’t achieve, things you can’t do, problems for which there are no simple solutions. But you can still live your values in a myriad of different ways, even in the face of all those challenges. Especially come back to your values of kindness and caring.

Consider:

What are kind, caring ways you can treat yourself as you go through this?  What are kind words you can say to yourself, kind deeds you can do for yourself?  What are kind ways you can treat others who are suffering?  What are kind, caring ways of contributing to the wellbeing of your community? What can you say and do that will enable you to look back in years to come and feel proud of your response?

HPW thoughts:

  • I see this one as staying true to you – let’s not let covid-19 change who we are and how we live our life. Yes, certainly we need to comply with the rules like staying at home for the safety and well-being of ourselves and others. But, we can still be kind, generous, thoughtful and loving. Continue to show your personality through all of your interactions and connections. If you are the type of student that needs a study group – create a virtual study group – or if you like solo studying – make sure you have the space, time and boundaries to do so. Stay true to yourself and what and who you value.

 

I = Identify resources

Identify resources for help, assistance, support, and advice. This includes friends, family, neighbours, health professionals, emergency services.  And make sure you know the emergency helpline phone numbers, including psychological help if required.  Also reach out to your social networks. And if you are able to offer support to others, let them know; you can be a resource for other people, just as they can for you. One very important aspect of this process involves finding a reliable and trustworthy source of information for updates on the crisis and guidelines for responding to it. The World Health Organisation website is the leading source of such information: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019

Also check the website of your country’s government health department.  Use this information to develop your own resources: action plans to protect yourself and others, and to prepare in advance for quarantine or emergency.

HPW thoughts:

  • As a virtual student/employee you have a lot to get used to. Find ways to get acquainted to the new systems you might be using like TEAMS or if you aren’t in D2L that often, take time to get acquainted and utilize some of the online tutorials and emails that have been sent out providing more guidance on learning and using D2L and other systems. But this also includes knowing local resources especially if you have moved back home. This could be food service delivery, maybe health resources and other things like finding a new local therapist or connecting virtually with your therapist. This also can include DePaul resources!! We do our best to get students connected but we recommend getting into DeHUB, Newsline and the University wide calendar and learning about some of the virtual programming going on this quarter. Getting connected to specific departments and especially reading the DePaul Newsline. We have so many resources and if you have questions — just ask us!!

 

D = Disinfect & distance physically

I’m sure you already know this, but it’s worth repeating: disinfect your hands regularly and practice as much social distancing as realistically possible, for the greater good of your community. And remember, we’re talking about physical distancing – not cutting off emotionally. (If you aren’t quite sure about what this means, read this: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/advice-for-public

This an important aspect of committed action, so align it deeply with your values; recognize that these are truly caring actions.

HPW thoughts:

  • I’m sure you have been hearing a lot of this but making sure that we are disinfecting our homes especially common areas and things like phones, laptops, door knobs, surfaces, kitchens, bathrooms, etc. Continually washing our hands with warm soapy water, avoiding touching our face, monitoring our health symptoms, etc. Taking care of yourself the most that we possibly can!! Practicing social distancing as much as this isn’t that much fun but it is so important now as you all know.

 

In Summary

So again and again and again, as problems pile up in the world around you, and emotional storms rage in the world within you, come back to the steps of FACE COVID:

F = Focus on what’s in your control

A = Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings

C = Come back into your body

E = Engage in what you’re doing

 

C = Committed action

O = Opening up

V = Values

I = Identify resources

D = Disinfect & distance

 

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Well, I do hope there’s something useful in here for you; and feel free to share this with others if you think may find it helpful.

These are crazy, difficult, scary times, so please do treat yourself kindly. And remember the words of Winston Churchill: ‘When you’re going through hell, keep going’.

All the best,

Cheers, Russ Harris

 

 

If you made it to the end of this post — THANK YOU!! — Not every post will be this long but we thought this one was super relevant and helpful!

Take care of yourself, take care of each other, take care DePaul

 

XOXO

HPW