Begin by journaling and answering these questions:
- What are the words you do not have yet? [Or, “for what do you not have words, yet?”]
- What do you need to say? [List as many things as necessary]
- “What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence?” [List as many as necessary today. Then write a new list tomorrow. And the day after.]
- If we have been “socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition,” ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen to me if I tell this truth?” [So, answer this today. And every day.]
Adapted from “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action,” collected in The Cancer Journals.
Afterward:
- Pair and share questionnaire; what did you write down and why?
- Doing this is being honest with ourselves and where we are at; looking at what we are facing right now; sharing these problems with someone else to maybe lessen the burden a little bit
- Invitations
- What is hard about sharing our personal experiences with people? What is something easy?
- What is a time you shared something and really felt like you were seen?
- How can you continue/work on being honest with yourself and others?
- Recognizing the human dignity in others and the power of storytelling; we become closer to others and understand people more
Check-out: Share something you need to do and something you want to do this weekend
The word to fully describe feeling lost as if I’m just floating along in whichever direction. This transition of coming back to the city where I was born and raised feels unfamiliar or just that I no longer belong. Feeling disconnected which has me questioning my decision to why I moved back even though the reason is valid and can be rewarding. Having the sense that something is missing, but not knowing what I’m searching for. The feeling of not being home, just a long visit.
I need to say that I’m struggling, which is the hardest thing to say due to my pride. I expected things to fall into place due to planning ahead but faced hardship. Stranger in my childhood home where friends and family knew me then but don’t know me now. Having difficulty with staying motivated and focused while I keep reminding myself why I came back. Feeling like a hypocrite when I communicate the importance of leaning on your support (family, friends, community etc.) to my clients knowing that I have trouble with that same task in my personal life.
The tyranny that I swallow day by day is the pressure to appear happy and successful. I feel like I must put on this facade that moving back was the best decision I ever made and that everything is going along smoothly and as planned. Trying to live up to others’ expectations of what my life should look like. Accepting this feeling of disconnection is something that I must live with instead of addressing it.
Telling the truth will put me in a vulnerable situation where I can be judged or criticized for my thoughts and feelings. If I don’t succeed, this move will be for nothing, and I will be looked on as a failure and disappoint those who expect more from me. Openness about my feelings may not change anything or may cause isolation.
1. “The “Latina” woman & Pretty Privilege” – I don’t have the words to challenge my brothers and sisters without speaking from a place of personal offense. Eventually I will speak from a place of unity … so speaking from a place where both hurts and needs are addressed are important. I believe that the aim of this issue is togetherness and a celebration of diversity. Creating space for variety and dismantling pretty privilege because it benefits you until you are not the prettiest anymore. | “Mom, you brought me here, Daughter I didn’t know” – I do believe mothers/parents should be handled with patience, at the same time their children should tell them the truth. I don’t know that I always have the words to express to a parent that they are understood, but that in some areas there is room for growth. How can I be part of an effective conversation where immigrant parents begin to see that some of their traditions can be hurtful for 1st gen children, because they are growing in a society where their methods will not work. Older people seem to value tradition and stick to what worked for them. At least in the community that I come from. Open mindedness is rare.
2. The Hispanic face is not monolithic/Latinx and its races. | “Mom, you brought me here. Daughter, I didn’t know.” A better life but the clashes of two societies.
3. Latin America or Hispanics should be represented for what they really look like. | People in underdeveloped countries should be informed of the costs of moving to a developed country, they should be encouraged to weigh the pros and cons even if they will come anyway. This could promote healthier relationships between them and their children in the long run. And those who are already here with unaware parents, despite hardship should be patient, understanding and respectful to their parents while they tell them the truth … because it is hard for immigrant parents as well.
4. Latin America and it’s many faces. – It can be scary because of push back from those who benefit from the Latina stereotype (pretty privilege) as the diversity of Latin faces begin to become embraced. – Open contempt, and rising discrimination as retaliation. – Questions from outsiders that I may not have the answers to. | “Mom, you brought me here, Daughter I didn’t know” – Push back from my very own mother. – Immigrant mothers offended – Wide criticism of younger generation increasing (can cause discouragement hearing poor words spoken from our parents about us) / uncomfortable challenged mothers. – Push back from daughters who feel entitled to respond to their anger with strife and disrespect towards their mothers rather than patience and unfortunately at times respectful distance. We can’t make our parents understand, but we can continue to show up with persistence, and patience and when unhealthy and not possible place distance (despite the pain).