“Love the whole world as if it were yourself; then you will truly care for all things.” -Tao-te-ching 13:4 (Classical Chinese text)
spirituality
The Invitation
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool for love,
for your dream,
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon.
I want to know
if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become
shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own,
without moving to hide it,
or fade it,
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy,
mine or your own;
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful,
to be realistic,
to remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true. I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure,
yours and mine,
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
‘Yes.’
It doesn’t interest
me to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer is a Canadian writer and mystic. This prose poem offers an invitation to every single one of us to “show up” in the universe.
The Call
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I have heard it all my life,
A voice calling a name I recognized as my own.
Sometimes it comes as a soft-bellied whisper.
Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency.
But always it says: Wake up my love. You are walking asleep.
There’s no safety in that!
Remember what you are and let this knowing take you home to the Beloved with every breath.
Hold tenderly who you are and let a deeper knowing colour the shape of your humanness.
There is nowhere to go. What you are looking for is right here.
Open the fist clenched in wanting and see what you already hold in your hand.
There is no waiting for something to happen, no point in the future to get to.
All you have ever longed for is here in this moment, right now.
You are wearing yourself out with all this searching.
Come home and rest.
How much longer can you live like this?
Your hungry spirit is gaunt, your heart stumbles. All this trying.
Give it up!
Let yourself be one of the God-mad, faithful only to the Beauty you are.
Let the Lover pull you to your
feet and hold you close, dancing even when fear urges you to sit this one out.
Remember- there is one word you are here to say with your whole being. When it finds you, give your life to it.
Don’t be tight-lipped and stingy.
Spend yourself completely on the saying.
Be one word in this great love poem we are writing together.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer is a Canadian writer and mystic.
Do It Anyway
Credited to Mother Teresa
People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest anyway.
What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
St. Mother Teresa was an Albanian-Indian Catholic nun and the founder of the Missionaries of Charity.
Teach Me
Author unknown
Teach me to treasure much
The simple things of life.
The touch of wind and snow, of rain and sun;
And when the hours of work are done,
The quietness of rest, the fair
And healing sustenance of prayer.
Help me keep a shining, singing gladness deep
Within for blessing yet to be
Through all eternity.
At the dawn of a new Millennium:
In a world of darkness, give us your light;
In lands of war and prejudice, grant us peace;
In a world of despair, give us hope;
In a world of sadness and tears, show us your joy.
In a world of hatred, show us your love:
In a world of arrogance, give us humility;
In a world of disbelief, give us faith.
Give us courage to face the challenges
of feeding the hungry clothing the naked,
housing the homeless, and healing the sick.
Give us the power to make a difference in
Your world, and to protect your creation
When Sorrow Walked with Me
By Robert Browning Hamilton
I walked a mile with Pleasure
She chatted all the way,
But left me none the wiser,
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But oh, the things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me!
Robert Browning Hamilton was an American poet.
Unconditional Love
- What is unconditional love?
- How have you experienced unconditional love?
- Is it difficult for you to receive unconditional love?
- When have you been dismissive of unconditional love and why?
- Can you love yourself unconditionally?
- When have you experienced love in service?
Quotes about love:
“I don’t think you can ever really love yourself.” -Lauren Parsons
“A grace given to you by something greater than yourself.”-Lauren Parsons
“Love what you do for a living.” Veronica Tinajero
“I can’t believe I love him so much.” -Brenda Salgado
What is unconditional love? “I don’t think it exists.” -Jamal Mir
“Forgiveness is a lot about trust.” -Sarah Ryan
“It’s easier to forgive than be forgiven.” -Lauren Parsons
“Unconditional love is like a weed that won’t die.” -Chantell Frazier
Change vs Transition
By William Bridges
Transition is very different from change. Change is situational. Transition on the other hand, is a three-phase psychological reorientation process that people go through when they are coming to terms with change. The difference between change and transition can be illustrated with the example of a geographical move. The change is the relocation itself; it involves packing and taking a trip. The transition involves all the confusion, distress, and excitement that you go through. Changes are always unique to the situations in which they take place, but transitions show a remarkable similarity, one to another.
Change:
External
Situational
Event-based
Defined by outcome
Can occur quickly
Transition:
Internal
Psychological
Experience-based
Defined by Process
Always takes time
The Checklist of Change
- Take your time
- Arrange temporary structures
- Don’t act for the sake of action
- Recognize why you are uncomfortable
- Take care of yourself in little ways
- Explore the other side of change
- Get someone to talk to
- Find out what is waiting in the wings of your life
- Use this transition as the impetus to a new kind of learning
- Recognize that transition has a characteristic shape
Transition
Transition is made up of three parts: the experience of an ending, the experience of confusing in between time called the “Neutral Zone” and the experience of a new beginning. It is important to our well-being that we recognize and respect this three-part process, for transition is the bridge which we cross to enter the next chapter for our lives and to renew ourselves.
- Endings: Transition always starts with an ending. Even though change can be initiated by something new, the internal, psychological process that accompanies it always stats by separating from, getting closure on, or bidding farewell to the old reality and the identity that went with it. Even in a “good” change, like starting a family, one has to let go of the old life. You cannot make a new beginning without an ending first. We must deal with the loss before we can have a new beginning.
- Neutral Zone: After the ending has been made, a beginning is possible, but it cannot occur immediately. First you must go through an in-between state that there is no accepted name for, a time when the old reality and the old identity are gone, but the new ones have not yet taken root in your mind and heart. This is called the “neutral zone” to capture the in-between-ness and the neither-this-nor-that quality.
Generally, people who do well during this in-between time are people who have good sources of elements of the acronym, CUSP.
- C: They are people who find things to do that help them to be (or at least feel) more in CONTROL of their situation. Anything that does that helps.
- U: They are people who UNDERSTAND the transition process and know why they are feeling what they are feeling. They also UNDERSTAND (as much as possible) the reason for the changes they are being affected by.
- S: They are people who have a fairly clear sense of PURPOSE to carry them along and help them decide which way to go when they get to a crossroads. It may well be a new sense of purpose, since the change may have rendered the old one obsolete.
3. New Beginnings: The ending disengages us and the neutral zone is a kind of fallow time when old habits are extinguished and the new possibilities are born. It is out of the neutral zone that the third and final phase of the transition (the beginning) emerges. This beginning is not to be confused with the “start” of the new situation, which may have happened on Day One. The beginning is when people really buy in, get on board, and feel at home with the new.
Transition is the psychological process that the person must go through to unplug from his or her old identity and become reoriented to the new one. The person must leave behind an old life, not just a job or relationship. Needless to say, transition takes longer than change. The new circumstances may take shape immediately, but the new life, the new reality, the new identity will take months to fully take form.
To make matters more difficult, there is a third factor besides the changing circumstances and the transition process; that is the personal resonance. Some current situations “resonate” disturbingly because of our past experience with comparable situations. If your parents separated when you were young, the breakup of an adult relationship will stir old fears and resentments that do not exist in someone with a different childhood experience.
Circumstances-Process-Resonance: The circumstances are the situational elements that are changing in the person’s life, the process is the inner transition from the old way of being to the new one, and the resonance is private meaning that is triggered in memory by the present event. The way to deal with resonance is through counseling or psycho-therapy, just as the way to deal with circumstances is through analysis, planning, and careful management.
How do you deal with the transition process? The first thing to understand about transition is that it has three stages or phases: an ending, a neutral zone, and a beginning. The second thing to understand is that the ending comes first, not last. People in transition are always forgetting that an old life, an old way of being, an old identity has to end before a new one can begin.
The external details of the change may be unique and confusing, but the real transitional task is all the same: to let go of some reality or strategy or personal identity that characterized the previous leg of our journey. The question life asks is always, “What is it time for you to let go of?”
Rules of Transition Management:
- You have to end before you begin
- Between the ending and the new beginning, there is a gap
- That gap can be creative
- Transition is developmental
- Transition is also a source of renewal
- People go through transitions at different speeds
William Bridges, PhD was an American author, speaker, and organizational consultant.
Understanding Loss and Death
Based on the work of Ronald Rolheiser.
“This cycle is not something that we must undergo just once, at the moment of our deaths, when we lose our earthly lives as we know them. It is rather something we must undergo daily, in every aspect of our lives. Christ spoke of many deaths, of daily deaths and of many rising and various pentecosts. The paschal mystery is the secret to life. Ultimately our happiness depends upon properly undergoing it.”
“Name your deaths”
- Talk about the suffering that you have witnessed at your site. What has been particularly challenging for you?
“Claim your births”
- What is there to celebrate at your site? Where do you find hope?
“Grieve what you have lost and adjust to the new reality”
- How do you stop yourself from becoming overwhelmed?
“Do not cling to the old, let it ascend and give you its blessing”
- What do you take away from your site, good and bad?
“Accept the spirit of the life that you are in fact living.”
- How does your spirituality help you deal with what you encounter at the site?
Ronald Rolheiser, OMI is a Catholic priest who writes on spirituality and systematic theology.
Learning to See Each Other
A guided mediation for closings.
This spiritual exercise is adapted from the Buddhist practice of the four Abodes: loving kindness, compassion, joy in the joy of others and equanimity. It helps us to see each other more truly and experience the depths of our interconnection.
Sit in pairs facing each other (you can mill first so that people do not feel “not chosen”). Ask people to look into each other’s eyes.
In many cultural settings, it is considered rude to look directly into another’s eyes. In high schools and colleges, sustained eye contact may provoke embarrassment. In such situations, suggest that the partners still sit facing each other, but with their eyes closed, picturing the other’s face in the mind’s eye. Then, from time to time as they wish, they can open their eyes and look at the other’s face to refresh their memory, for as long as it comfortable. Then read the following:
Face your partner with eyes closed, remaining silent. Take a couple of slow breath, centering yourself and exhaling tension.
Open your eyes in soft focus and look upon your partner’s face…. If you feel discomfort, just note it with patience and gentleness, and come back, when you can, to regard your partner. You may never see this person again; the opportunity to behold the uniqueness of this human being is given to you now.
To enter the first abode, open your awareness to the gifts and strengths that are in this being… Though you can only guess at them, there are behind those eyes unmeasured reserves of courage and intelligence… of patience, endurance, wit and wisdom… There are gifts there, of which even this person is unaware… Consider what these powers could do for the healing of our world, if they were to be believed and acted on… As you consider that, experience your desire that this person be free from fear…. Experience how much you want this being to be released as well from greed, from hatred and confusion and from the causes of suffering… Know that what you are now experiencing is the great Loving-kindness… closing your eyes now, rest into your breathing…
Opening them again, we enter the second abode… Now as you look into those eyes, let yourself become aware of the pain that is there. There are sorrows accumulated in that life, as in all human lives, though you can only guess at them. There are disappointments and failures, losses and loneliness and abuse… There are hurts beyond the telling… Let yourself open to that pain, to hurts that this person may never have told to another human being… You cannot take that pain away, but you can be with it. As you draw upon your capacity to be with your partner’s suffering, know that what you are experiencing is the great compassion. it is very good for the healing of our world…
Again we close our eyes, opening them as we enter the third abode. As you behold the person before you, consider how good it would be to work together…on a joint project, towards a common goal…. What it would be like, taking risks together…conspiring together in zest and laughter…. Celebrating the successes, consoling each other over the setbacks, forgiving each other when you make mistakes… and simply being there for each other….. As you open to that possibility, you open to the great wealth, the pleasure in each other’s powers, the joy in each other’s joy..
Now entering the fourth and last abode, your eyes open, let your awareness drop deep within you like a stone, sinking below the level of what words can express… to the deep web of relationship that underlies all experience…. It is the web of life in which you have taken being and which interweaves us through all space and time… See the being before you as if seeing the face of one who, at another time, another place, was your lover or your enemy, your parent or your child…. And now you meet again on this brink of time, almost as if by appointment…. And you know that your lives are as inextricably interwoven as nerve cells in the mind of a great being… Out of that vast web you cannot fall… No stupidity, or failure, or cowardice, can ever sever you from that living web. For that is what you are… Rest in that knowing. Rest in the Great Peace…. Out of it we can act, we can risk anything.. and let every encounter be a homecoming to our true nature.
From Coming back to Life: Practices to Reconnect Our Lives, Our World by Joanna Macy and Molly Young Brown.