Approaching Another

“Our first task in approaching another people, another culture, another religion is to take off our shoes, for the place we are approaching is holy; else we find ourselves treading on someone’s dream. More serious still, we may forget that God was already there before our arrival.” -John V. Taylor

John V. Taylor was an English bishop and theologian.

“Love as the Practice of Freedom” Excerpts

By bell hooks

In this society, there is no powerful discourse on love emerging either from politically progressive radicals or from the Left. The absence of a sustained focus on love in progressive circles arises from a collective failure to acknowledge the needs of the spirit and an overdetermined emphasis on material concerns. Without love, our efforts to liberate ourselves and our world community from oppression and exploitation are doomed. As long as we refuse to address fully the place of love in struggles for liberation we will not be able to create a culture of conversion where there is a mass turning away from an ethic of domination.

Without an ethic of love shaping the direction of our political vision and our radical aspirations, we are often seduced, in one way or the other, into continued allegiance to systems of domination imperialism, sexism, racism, classism. It has always puzzled me that women and men who spend a lifetime working to resist and oppose one form of domination can be systematically supporting another. I have been puzzled by powerful visionary black male leaders who can speak and act passionately in resistance to racial domination and accept and embrace sexist domination of women, by feminist white women who work daily to eradicate sexism but who have major blind spots when it comes to acknowledging and resisting racism and white supremacist domination of the planet. Critically examining these blind spots, I conclude that many of us are motivated to move against domination solely when we feel our self-interest directly threatened. Often, then, the longing is not for a collective transformation of society, an end to politics of dominations, but rather simply for an end to what we feel is hurting us. This is why we desperately need an ethic of love to intervene in our self-centered longing for change. Fundamentally, if we are only committed to an improvement in that politic of domination that we feel leads directly to our individual exploitation or oppression, we not only remain attached to the status quo but act in complicity with it, nurturing and maintaining those very systems of domination. Until we are all able to accept the interlocking, interdependent nature of systems of domination and recognize specific ways each system is maintained, we will continue to act in ways that undermine our individual quest for freedom and collective liberation struggle.

The ability to acknowledge blind spots can emerge only as we expand our concern about politics of domination and our capacity to care about the oppression and exploitation of others. A love ethic makes this expansion possible. The civil rights movement transformed society in the United States because it was fundamentally rooted in a love ethic. No leader has emphasized this ethic more than Martin Luther King, Jr. He had the prophetic insight to recognize that a revolution built on any other foundation would fail. Again and again, King testified that he had “decided to love” because he believed deeply that if we are “seeking the highest good” we “find it through love” because this is “the key that unlocks the door to the meaning of ultimate reality.” And the point of being in touch with a transcendent reality is that we struggle for justice, all the while realizing that we are always more than our race, class, or sex. When I look back at the civil rights movement which was in many ways limited because it was a reformist effort, I see that it had the power to move masses of people to act in the interest of racial justice—and because it was profoundly rooted in a love ethic…

…A culture of domination is anti-love. It requires violence to sustain itself. To choose love is to go against the prevailing values of the culture. Many people feel unable to love either themselves or others because they do not know what love is. Contemporary songs like Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It” advocate a system of exchange around desire, mirroring the economics of capitalism: the idea that love is important is mocked. In his essay “Love and Need: Is Love a Package or a Message?” Thomas Merton argues that we are taught within the framework of competitive consumer capitalism to see love as a business deal: “This concept of love assumes that the machinery of buying and selling of needs is what makes everything run. It regards life as a market and love as a variation on free enterprise.” Though many folks recognize and critique the commercialization of love, they see no alternative. Not knowing how to love or even what love is, many people feel emotionally lost; others search for definitions, for ways to sustain a love ethic in a culture that negates human value and valorizes materialism…

…Choosing love we also choose to live in community, and that means that we do not have to change by ourselves. We can count on critical affirmation and dialogue with comrades walking a similar path. African American theologian Howard Thurman believed that we best learn love as the practice of freedom in the context of community. Commenting on this aspect of his work in the essay “Spirituality out on The Deep,” Luther Smith reminds us that Thurman felt the United States was given to diverse groups of people by the universal life force as a location for the building of community. Paraphrasing Thurman, he writes: “Truth becomes true in community. The social order hungers for a center (i.e. spirit, soul) that gives it identity, power, and purpose. America, and all cultural entities, are in search of a soul.” Working within community, whether it be sharing a project with another person, or with a larger group, we are able to experience joy in struggle. That joy needs to be documented. For if we only focus on the pain, the difficulties which are surely real in any process of transformation, we only show a partial picture…

…The civil rights movement had the power to transform society because the individuals who struggle alone and in community for freedom and justice wanted these gifts to be for all, not just the suffering and the oppressed. Visionary black leaders such as Septima Clark, Fannie Lou Hamer, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Howard Thurman warned against isolationism. They encouraged black people to look beyond our own circumstances and assume responsibility for the planet. This call for communion with a world beyond the self, the tribe, the race, the nation, was a constant invitation for personal expansion and growth. When masses of black folks starting thinking solely in terms of “us and them,” internalizing the value system of white supremacist capitalist patriarchy, blind spots developed, the capacity for empathy needed for the building of community was diminished. To heal our wounded body politic we must reaffirm our commitment to a vision of what King referred to in the essay “Facing the Challenge of a New Age” as a genuine commitment to “freedom and justice for all.” My heart is uplifted when I read King’s essay; I am reminded where true liberation leads us. It leads us beyond resistance to transformation. King tells us that “the end is reconciliation, the end is redemption, the end is the creation of the beloved community.” The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom.

bell hooks was a social commentator, essayist, memoirist, poet and feminist theorist who spoke on contemporary issues of race, gender, and media representation in America.

Reflection Questions:

  • What resonated with you from the excerpts read? What was challenging for you?
    • What is a quote that you want to continue to reflect on after today?
  • How have you seen a love ethic within your day-to-day life OR social change/liberation movements today? How have you seen an ethic of domination in your day to day OR social change/liberation movements today?
  • Are we talking about love enough? Can we learn to practice loving if we don’t have the spaces to actually engage in conversations of what loving means/looks like? How can we engage conversations about loving more?

Intro to Solidarity Reflection

VIA Way of Solidarity

We will reflect by sharing with each other our initial thoughts on what solidarity is/means/looks like. We think this is a good way to start, because how can we live it out if we don’t know what it means or what it looks like?

  • Print and pass out quotes about solidarity. Give everone a minute to look over them.
  • Give people 5 or so minutes to find their own quotes about solidarity (that they like/agree with) OR form their own definition/what comes to their mind when they hear the word.
    • This could be an artsy activity if we bring art supplies, and they can essentially make their own little art/graphic that goes with the solidarity quote/definition.
    • Or if someone resonates with one of the provided quotes, they can draw or sit with that one.
  • Come back and share quotes/personal definitions in a large group.
    • (Food for thought if figuring out their own definition: Have you seen solidarity in action? What does it mean?)

Check-out/Closing: What is one commitment to solidarity that you will take with you after today?

 

Sample quotes to use:

“I don’t believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.” – Eduardo Galeano

“If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” – Lilla Watson

“You didn’t see me on television, you didn’t see news stories about me. The kind of role that I tried to play was to pick up pieces or put together pieces out of which I hoped organization might come. My theory is, strong people don’t need strong leaders.” – Ella Baker

“We’ve got to face the fact that some people say you fight fire best with fire, but we say you put fire out best with water. We say you don’t fight racism with racism. We’re gonna fight racism with solidarity.” -Fred Hampton

“Solidarity does not assume that our struggles are the same struggles, or that our pain is the same pain, or that our hope is for the same future. Solidarity involves commitment, and work, as well as the recognition that even if we do not have the same feelings, or the same lives, or the same bodies, we do live on common ground.” -Sara Ahme

Anonymous Affirmations

Think of an affirmation you’d like to give to someone, not anyone specific, but just something that you would want anyone to know or think they might need to hear. Write it down. Throw it in the middle. We all pick up an affirmation and read it aloud.

Then, after focusing positive energy on each other, we can turn that outward and focus positive energy on people outside of our group:

  1. I would like to invite you to take a moment and look around the room. Take notice of who is here. Who else surrounds you? In whose presence are you in? Who accompanies you?
  2. Now, secretly identify 3 people (perhaps 3 whom you do not know very well, or have yet to have a conversation with). For now I want you to hold them in your heart, we will return to this activity in a moment.
  3. I’m going to ask you now to please close your eyes.
  4. Looking back over the past week, or it could even be today, I invite you to identify 3 independent positive interactions you had with someone from which you felt good energy from, or maybe briefly developed a good connection with. Re-imagine and re-create that experience and moment in your mind.
  5. (Pause and wait about 10 minutes).
  6. Reflecting on these moments, how did it make you feel?
  7. What was the energy like in that moment?
  8. What made that moment have such positive energy?
  9. Bring that feeling of positive energy to the fore front of your mind and hold it there. Try and focus that energy to certain parts of your body as I read them aloud to you. Please feel free to close your eyes and concentrate on the words I am saying. (Read deliberately and slowly, giving space and time to focus attention to each body part intentionally). Feel that energy move throughout: your shoulders and your back. Behind your neck. Your wrists and your knees. Your ankles and your toes. When you are ready, please open your eyes.
  10. Now, I want you to recollect the 3 people you secretly held in your heart and identified earlier. Send them some of your positive energy that you have within.
  11. Feel free to silently say or send a prayer for them.
  12. Take a moment to think about, some concrete ways in which we can share positive energy. Especially with the 3 people we have identified.
  13. When you are ready I invite you back to this space, and feel free to jot down those ways you’re going to share your good vibes with this person and with the world.