By Aisha Sherazi

Communication breakdown
What’s happening today?
We don’t say what we mean,
And we don’t mean what we say.

We trundle along in life,
Not speaking when we should,
We wait until it’s too late,
And then say nothing good.

We don’t look at each other,
Nor smile as much these days,
We are all so busy,
Being busy is the craze.
But what is so important?
That we don’t really talk?
Why don’t we make time?
Instead of running, we could walk.

We use our text messages,
Our computers, to speak for us,
We use our telephones,
And rely on our trust.
It’s hard to know what’s behind talk,
If you’re not face to face,
It’s hard to get a clear message,
Isn’t it a disgrace?

That we don’t meet each other,
And look eye to eye?
That we don’t take the time,
And understand why.

Why it is so important?
We connect and really speak,
Why it is essential,
We truly listen and not freak?

When someone suggests something,
That’s so far from our minds,
World peace depends on these things,
So let’s not be so behind.

We’ve got to make an effort,
And truly realize,
This isn’t really connecting,
It isn’t civilized.

Aisha Sherazi is a Muslim poet and has written many thought-provoking poems on a variety of topics such as gender issues, global warming, and terrorism. She is also known for her stand on humanitarian concerns and is a social activist. 

Reflection Questions:

• Do any of these stanzas resonate with you?
• With whom is it easy/difficult to communicate? Why?
• What communication skills do you see that you have?
• How would you like to grow in communication?

This space will be focusing on how we love ourselves and how we extend that love to others. Today we want to take a step back to allow ourselves to practice self-love and care. We will be extending that same care and thoughtfulness to ourselves with some love letters!

Write a letter to yourself from the future.

• What do you have an abundance of?
• What decisions do you have to make in the future that aren’t rooted in oppression but in communal pleasure?
• What are the words you need today for tomorrow?
• What is it that you love?
• Who is it that you love?
• What do you want to thank your past self (aka you right now) for?

Compassionate Listening requires questions which are non-adversarial and listening which is non-judgmental. Listeners seek the truth of the person questioned, seeing through “masks of hostility and fear to the sacredness of the individual.” Listeners seek to humanize the “other.” Listeners accept what others say as their perceptions, and validate their right to their own perceptions. Compassionate Listening can cut through barriers of defense and mistrust, enabling both those listened to and those listening to hear what they think, to change their opinions, and to make more informed decisions. Through this process, fear can be reduced, and participants will be better equipped to discern how to proceed with effective action.

Form pairs. Have one partner tell a meaningful story about their service site or experience to their partner. The story should be short, to the point, and include valuable moments of vulnerability or emotion. Have the partner practice compassionate listening. Then have the partners switch roles.

Reflection Questions:

1. Using this model of compassionate listening, how did this change the way we engaged in our ability to understand the stories our partners told us?
2. How can we use this as a way to share our stories as Vincentians?