Responding to Misunderstanding

Share this quote:

“We often become a part of [or begin to associate with] what is called a resistance community, a network of persons with similar ideals and goals.  As a result of this involvement, we experience the fact that others—friends, relatives, family, members of our [physical] community—simply do not comprehend what we are about.  We feel misunderstood, alienated, criticized, even persecuted.” -T. Wiesner

Open the floor for people to share anecdotes of experiences or simply vent about times when they have felt misunderstood by “others” — friends, family, or members of our community.

Activity: Ask participants to write a letter to someone they feel misunderstands their call to service and justice work. This should be someone you personally know.  Try to express exactly what you want from them (Do you want to convince them, understand a little better, or just be more respectful?).  You need not worry if this is a realistic demand or not.

Allow about 10-15 minutes to finish letters and time to share letters after completion.

Raising Awareness

Short introduction to the importance of raising awareness and how it connects to VIA’s Way of Dialogue. 

“Our activity in this Way of Dialogue is more often work for social change.  We are more interested than before in devoting our energy to work with the poor for structural change.  The emphasis is more on acts of justice than on acts of mercy on behalf of the poor.”

When we speak of the way of dialogue in the VIA framework, we speak of a time where the people in communities we serve begin to share their stories with us. The problems that they voice are not often those that we once saw and thought to fix. As their stories become more familiar, we begin to join in some of their struggles, especially those struggles towards acknowledgement and recognition. A new form of service presents itself as we seek to promote the voice of the voiceless. Though we still work with those we serve on a personal level to address simple immediate needs, we also seek to work with them to address their more complex and long-term needs. On this, T. Wiesner says:

“We also become engaged in the struggle for social change.  This usually leads to involvement in such things as protest, boycotts, demonstrations, actions of resistance, even civil disobedience, arrest, imprisonment.”

Go with an Inquiring Mind

“We should not go to the people and say, ‘Here we are. We come to give you the charity of our presence, to teach you our science, to show you your errors, your lack of culture, your ignorance of elementary things.’ We should go instead with an inquiring mind and a humble spirit to learn at that great source of wisdom that is the people.” -Che Guevara

Che Guevara was a prominent communist figure in the Cuban Revolution and guerrilla leader in South America. 

Solo Le Pido A Dios

Por Mercedes Sosa

Sólo le pido a Dios
Que el dolor no me sea indiferente
Que la reseca muerte no me encuentre
Vacío y solo sin haber hecho lo suficiente

Sólo le pido a Dios
Que lo injusto no me sea indiferente
Que no me abofeteen la otra mejilla
Después que una garra me arañó esta suerte

Sólo le pido a Dios
Que la guerra no me sea indiferente
Es un monstruo grande y pisa fuerte
Toda la pobre inocencia de la gente

Sólo le pido a Dios
Que el engaño no me sea indiferente
Si un traidor puede más que unos cuantos
Que esos cuantos no lo olviden fácilmente

Sólo le pido a Dios
Que el futuro no me sea indiferente
Desahuciado está el que tiene que marchar
A vivir una cultura diferente

Sólo le pido a Dios
Que la guerra no me sea indiferente
Es un monstruo grande y pisa fuerte
Toda la pobre inocencia de la gente

 

English Translation

“I Only Ask of God”

By Mercedes Sosa

I only ask of God
that I not be idnifferent to pain
That death does not find me
Empty and alone without having done enough

I only ask of God
that I not be indifferent to injustice
That my other cheek not be struck
after being clawed with this bad luck

I only ask of God
That I not be indifferent to war
It is a giant monster and steps down hard
On all the poor innocence of the people

I only ask of God
that I not be indifferent to betrayal
If a single traitor can do more than some
That those few do not forget it easily

I only ask of God
that I not be indifferent to the future
Hopeless is the one who must leave his home
to live in a different culture

I only ask of God
That I not be indifferent to war
It is a giant monster and steps down hard
On all the poor innocence of the people

Mercedes Sosa was a singer and political activist from Argentina. 

Reflection Question:
In the midst of the brokenness of our world, what motivates you to keep from being indifferent? How do you hope to be present to those around you today?

Guiding Principles for Asset-Based Community Development

Text from Steans Center

Most communities address social and economic problems with only a small amount of their total capacity. Much of the community capacity is not used and is needed! This is the challenge and opportunity of community engagement. Everyone in a community has something to offer. There is no one we don’t need.

  • Everyone Has Gifts with rare exception; people can contribute and want to contribute. Gifts must be discovered.
  • Relationships Build a Community see them, make them, and utilize them. An intentional effort to build and nourish relationships is the core of ABCD and of all community building.
  • Citizens at the Center: It is essential to engage the wider community as actors (citizens) not just as recipients of services (clients).
  • Leaders Involve Others as Active Members of the Community: Leaders from the wider community of voluntary associations, congregations, neighborhoods, and local business, can engage others from their sector. This “following” is based on trust, influence, and relationship.
  • People Care About Something: Agencies and neighborhood groups often complain about apathy. Apathy is a sign of bad listening. People in communities are motivated to act. The challenge is to discover what their motivation is.
  • Motivation to Act must be identified. People act on certain themes they feel strongly about, such as; concerns to address, dreams to realize, and personal talents to contribute. Every community is filled with invisible “motivation for action”. Listen for it.
  • Listening Conversation: One-on-one dialogue or small group conversations are ways of discovering motivation and invite participation. Forms, surveys and asset maps can be useful to guide intentional listening and relationship building.
  • Ask, Ask, Ask: Asking and inviting are key community-building actions. “Join us. We need you.” This is the song of community.
  • Asking Questions Rather Than Giving Answers Invites Stronger Participation: People in communities are usually asked to follow outside expert’s answers for their community problems. A more powerful way to engage people is to invite communities to address
    ‘questions’ and finding their own answer– with agencies following up to help.
  • A Citizen-Centered “Inside-Out” Organization is the Key to Community Engagement: A “citizen-centered” organization is one where local people control the organization and set the organization’s agenda.
  • Institutions Have Reached Their Limits in Problem-Solving: All institutions such as government, non-profits, and businesses are stretched thin in their ability to solve community problems. They cannot be successful without engaging the rest of the community in solutions.
  • Institutions as Servants: People are better than programs in engaging the wider community. Leaders in institutions have an essential role in community-building as they lead by “stepping back,” creating opportunities for citizenship, care, and real democracy.

Group Discussion Questions:

  • In VIA, we say that our community partners are our co-educators. When have you learned from and/or been served by somebody you set out to serve?
  • One of the five Vincentian virtues is humility. How do you see this at work when we enter into our service communities
  • Looking at the Asset-Based Community Development principles, which guideline resonates with you and why? Do any of them challenge you?
  • How will you prepare your VIA participants to enter into communities?

Mirror Activity

Part 1 – For the first part one person chooses to be the leader while the other one is the follower. The follower needs to be the exact mirror image of the leader. The leader can move in any way and the follower must follow them exactly. Allow participants to do this for about 5-8 minutes.

Reflection:

  • How did it feel to be the leader? How did it feel to be the follower?

Part 2 – For the second part, ask participants to work together and collaborate in becoming each other’s mirror image. Any participant can decide to move and the other participants must reflect that movement. This exercise is different because both participants can determine the movement but must be open to the movement of their partner and follow that as well.

Reflection:

  • Who was the leader? Who was following? How did this exercise feel different from the first exercise? Which one did you enjoy better? Was it easy to work together?
  • How do you see this reflecting your experience as a VIA leader?
  • How can this reflect how we choose to enter into communities?
  • How does this reflect the importance of dialogue between communities? What are some problems with having one-way dialogue like we did in the first exercise? What are the difficulties of sharing equal leadership? This exercise was a way for us to begin to reflect on how we are entering spaces. How do we dialogue with others?

When you are serving a community, we want to avoid the feeling of the first exercise. We are not there to “save” anybody and lead a community “into the light”. We want to get closer to what the second exercise reflects. We want to listen to each other and have mutual respect for each other, hence in the exercise moving by being true to how we may want to move but also attentive to our partner’s movements and respecting their decisions by following them as well. We are going with open ears and open hearts which will allow us to give back to the community but also receive in return. We are going to learn from each other through the shared dialogue we will have in being with the community.

The ABCD…Zs of Vincentian Hospitality

Building community begins by building personal human relationships. When we are inviting students to become a part of the DePaul community, our first greeting is to affirm the inherent dignity of the person in front of us by placing our attention on them. We strive to see the person as a gift and sacred mystery. The most important person in the world is the person right in front of you.

Acknowledge the students’ existence
-Greet them with an introduction
-Smile
-Introduce yourself – tell them your role depending on setting
-Focus on good eye contact
-Nod and listen

Build a relationship
-Getting to know them:
-Name
-Where they are from
-What they are interested in studying at DePaul, major
-How do they like their experience at DePaul
-What might they be looking to get involved with
-Express your genuine concern for them (ex. I hope you will like it here at DePaul)

Connect them to the community
-Introduce them to another team member or another new student that you have met
-Intentionally introduce to people who share commonalities or help them find similarities
with each other (i.e. people from the same state, same major, etc.)
-Give them guidance to help conversation along

Depart properly
-Intentionally say good bye (ex. It was great meeting you. I’ll see you…)
-Repeat their name

Zero them in
-Connect and direct students to organizations, programs, events, services that match their interest/needs for active engagement at DePaul. This can only be done once we have an understanding of who the student is.

The Audre Lorde Questionnaire to Oneself

Begin by journaling and answering these questions:

  1. What are the words you do not have yet? [Or, “for what do you not have words, yet?”]
  2. What do you need to say? [List as many things as necessary]
  3. “What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence?” [List as many as necessary today. Then write a new list tomorrow. And the day after.]
  4. If we have been “socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition,” ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen to me if I tell this truth?” [So, answer this today. And every day.]

Adapted from “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action,” collected in The Cancer Journals.

Afterward: 

  • Pair and share questionnaire; what did you write down and why?
  • Doing this is being honest with ourselves and where we are at; looking at what we are facing right now; sharing these problems with someone else to maybe lessen the burden a little bit
  • Invitations
    • What is hard about sharing our personal experiences with people? What is something easy?
    • What is a time you shared something and really felt like you were seen?
    • How can you continue/work on being honest with yourself and others?
  • Recognizing the human dignity in others and the power of storytelling; we become closer to others and understand people more

Check-out: Share something you need to do and something you want to do this weekend

The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action

Guided reflection to accompany this piece.

By Audre Lorde

I would like to preface my remarks on the transformation of silence into language and action with a poem. The title of it is “A Song for Many Movements” and this reading is dedicated to Winnie Mandela. Winnie Mandela is a South African freedom fighter who is in exile now somewhere in South Africa. She had been in prison and had been released and was picked up again after she spoke out against the recent jailing of black school children who were singing freedom songs, and who were charged with public violence. . .

“A Song for Many Movements”

Nobody wants to die on the way
caught between ghosts of whiteness
and the real water none of us wanted to leave
our bones
on the way to salvation
three planets to the left
a century of light years ago
our spices are separate and particular
but our skins sing in complimentary keys
at a quarter to eight mean time
we were telling the same stories
over and over and over.

Broken down gods survive
in the crevasses and mudpots
of every beleaguered city
where it is obvious there are too many bodies
to cart to the ovens
or gallows
and our uses have become
more important than our silence
after the fall
too many empty cases
of blood to bury or burn
there will be no body left
to listen
and our labor
has become more important
than our silence.

Our labor has become
more important
than our silence.

 

I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect. I am standing here as a black lesbian poet, and the meaning of all that waits upon the fact that I am still alive, and might not have been. Less than two months ago, I was told by two doctors, one female and one male, that I would have to have breast surgery, and that there was a 60 to 80 percent chance that the tumor was malignant. Between that telling and the actual surgery, there was a three week period of the agony an involuntary reorganization of my entire life. The surgery was completed, and the growth was benign.

But within those three weeks, I was forced to look upon myself and my living with a harsh and urgent clarity that has left me still shaken but much stronger. Some of what I experienced during that time has helped elucidate for me much of what I feel concerning the transformation of silence into language and action.

In becoming forcibly and essentially aware of my mortality, and of what I wished and wanted for my life, however short it might be, priorities and omissions became strongly etched in a merciless light, and what I most regretted were my silences. Of what had I ever been afraid? To question or to speak as I believed could have meant pain, or death. But we all hurt in so many different ways, all the time, and pain will either change or end. Death, on the other hand, is the final silence. And that might be coming quickly now, without regard for whether I had ever spoken what needed to be said, or had only betrayed myself into small silences, while I planned someday to speak, or waited for someone else’s words.

I was going to die, if not sooner then later, whether or not I had ever spoken myself. My silences had not protected me.Your silence will not protect you. But for every real word spoken, for every attempt I had ever made to speak those truths for which I am still seeking, I had made contact with other women while we examined the words to fit a world in which we all believed, bridging our differences. And it was the concern and caring of all those women which gave me strength and enabled me to scrutinize the essentials of my living.

The women who sustained me through that period were black and white, old and young, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual, and we all shared a war against the tyrannies of silence. They all gave me a strength and concern without which I could not have survived intact. Within those weeks of acute fear came the knowledge—within the war we are all waging with the forces of death, subtle and otherwise, conscious or not—I am not only a casualty, I am also a warrior.

What are the words you do not yet have? What do you need to say? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? Perhaps for some of you here today, I am the face of one of your fears. Because I am a woman, because I am black, because I am lesbian, because I am myself a black woman warrior poet doing my work, come to ask you, are you doing yours?

And of course I am afraid—you can hear it in my voice—because the transformation of silence into language and action is an act of self revelation, and that always seems fraught with danger. But my daughter, when I told her of our topic and my difficulty with it, said, “Tell them about how you’re never really a whole person if you remain silent, because there’s always that one little piece inside you that wants to be spoken out, and if you keep ignoring it, it gets madder and madder and hotter and hotter, and if you don’t speak it out one day it will just up and punch you in the mouth.”

In the cause of silence, each of us draws the face of her own fear — fear of contempt, of censure, of some judgment, or recognition, of challenge, of annihilation. But most of all, I think, we fear the visibility without which we cannot truly live. Within this country where racial difference creates a constant, if unspoken, distortion of vision, lack women have on one hand always been highly visible, and so, on the other hand, have been rendered invisible through the depersonalization of racism. Even within the women’s movement, we have had to fight and still do, for that very visibility which also renders us most vulnerable, our blackness. For to survive in the mouth of this dragon we call america, we have had to learn this first and most vital lesson—that we were never meant to survive. Not as human beings. And neither were most of you here today, black or not. And that visibility which makes us most vulnerable is that which also is the source of our greatest strength. Because the machine will try to grind you into dust anyway, whether or not we speak. We can sit in our corners mute forever while our sisters and our selves are wasted, while our children are distorted and destroyed, while our earth is poisoned; we can sit in our safe corners mute as bottles, and we will still be no less afraid.

In my house this year we are celebrating the feast of Kwanza, the African-American festival of harvest which begins the day after Christmas and lasts for seven days. There are seven principles of Kwanza, one for each day. The first principle is Umoja, which means unity, the decision to strive for and maintain unity in self and community. The principle for yesterday, the second day, was Kujichagulia—self-determination—the decision to define ourselves, name ourselves, and speak for ourselves, instead of being defined and spoken for by others. Today is the third day of Kwanza, and the principle for today is Ujima— collective work and responsibility—the decision to build and maintain ourselves and our communities together and to recognize and solve our problems together.

Each of us is here now because in one way or another we share a commitment to language and to the power of language, and to the reclaiming of that language which has been made to work against us. In the transformation of silence into language and action, it is vitally necessary for each one of us to establish or examine her function in that transformation and to recognize her role as vital within that transformation.

For those of us who write, it is necessary to scrutinize not only the truth of what we speak, but the truth of that language by which we speak it. For others, it is to share and spread also those words that are meaningful to us. But primarily for us all, it is necessary to teach by living and speaking those truths which we believe and know beyond understanding. Because in this way alone can we survive, by taking part in a process of life that is creative and continuing, that is growth.

And it is never without fear; of visibility, of the harsh light of scrutiny and perhaps judgment, of pain, of death. But we have lived through all of those already, in silence, except death. And I remind myself all the time now that if I were to have been born mute, or had maintained an oath of silence my whole life long for safety, I would still have suffered, and I would still die. It is very good for establishing perspective.

And where the words or women are crying to be heard, we must each of us recognize our responsibility to seek those words out, to read them and share them and examine them in their pertinence to our lives. That we not hide between the mockeries of separations that have been imposed on us and which so often we accept as our own: for instance, “I can’t possibly teach black women’s writing—their experience is so different from mine, yet how many years have you spent teaching Plato and Shakespeare and Proust? Or another: “She’s a white woman and what could she possibly have to say to me?” Or, “She’s a lesbian, what would my husband say, or my chairman?” Or again, “This woman writes of her sons and I have no children.” And all the other endless ways we rob ourselves of ourselves and each other.

We can learn to work and speak when we are afraid in the same way we have learned to work and speak when we are tired. For we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us.

The fact that we are here and that I speak these words is an attempt to break that silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken.

 

Audre Lorde was an American writer, womanist, feminist, professor, and civil rights activist.