The Story of the White Tablecloth: Vincentian Hospitality

A common Vincentian story told at DePaul is often referred to as the story of the white tablecloth. This story serves as an example of Vincentian hospitality and holistic care. Vincent de Paul believed in creating spaces of connection and serving both the physical and spiritual needs. 

In the foundational documents and rules established for the Confraternity in Châtillon-les-Dombes in 1617, Vincent de Paul explained the careful attention necessary when seeking to serve those in need. He recommended that missioners lay out a white cloth before serving food to a person in need, and that they engage in kind and cheerful conversation to better understand the context of that person’s story. (1)   

The attentive care communicated through laying down a tablecloth and engaging in conversation reflect a recognition of the sacred dignity of those being served, as well as the essential relational dimension of human interaction, breaking down the distinction between “us” and “them.” 

The VIA Way of Dialogue cannot be accomplished unless we create space in our hearts to listen to the stories of those we encounter. In our interactions, we are invited to practice hospitality and holistic care knowing that sometimes the smallest things can make a very big difference. 

Questions for reflection: 

  • Share a story of how someone has spread a white tablecloth of hospitality for you. How did it feel?  
  • How might you create a space of welcome and hospitality? How do you envision practicing Vincentian hospitality in your service?  
  • When did you experience a moment when you felt the barriers of “us” and “them” were broken down?  

1) See Document 126, Charity of Women, (Châtillon-Les-Dombes), 1617, CCD, 13b:13; and Document 130, Charity of Women, (Montmirail – II), CCD, 13b:40. At: https://‌via.‌library.‌depaul.‌edu/‌vincentian‌_ebooks/‌38/. 

Vincentian historian, Fr. John Rybolt, C.M., tells the full story in this video, describing the spirit with which Vincent wanted his followers to care for the poor: 

The Story of the White Tablecloth (youtube.com) 

Quotes on Dialogue

  • Suzy Kassem:We cannot control the way people interpret our ideas or thoughts, but we can control the words and tones we choose to convey them. Peace is built on understanding, and wars are built on misunderstandings. Never underestimate the power of a single word, and never recklessly throw around words. One wrong word, or misinterpreted word, can change the meaning of an entire sentence and start a war. And one right word, or one kind word, can grant you the heavens and open doors.”
  • Thich Nhat Hanh: “In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.  Continue reading

Friendship with the Poor

“If there is no friendship with them [the poor] and no sharing of the life of the poor, then there is no authentic commitment to liberation, because love exists only among equals.” -Gustavo Gutierrez, A Theology of Liberation

Gustavo Gutiérrez Merino, OP is a Peruvian philosopher, Catholic theologian, and Dominican priest, regarded as one of the founders of Latin American liberation theology.

Social Inquiry/Pastoral Circle

The three steps to the social inquiry/pastoral circle are:

  • See (look, listen): observation, fact gathering, to look and listen
  • Judge (learn): utilizes socio, economic, political, religious, spiritual, cultural, ethnic, psychological critical analysis to ask reflective questions given the particular reality observed–this is a process of assessment and evaluation where critical learning occurs
  • Act (live): in light of what is seen and “judged,” one acts accordingly, one lives. Continue reading

Locked Eyes

Intention: To help participants engage in a form of dialogue that is beyond a verbal conversation. This activity is meant to help people share in an intentional bonding moment that may put them outside of their comfort zone.
Risk Level: Medium
Time needed: Decided by facilitator, anywhere from 5-15 minutes
Appropriate location: A space with low traffic and minimal distractions
Materials needed: Stopwatch/timepiece

Part I. Personal Reflection
Invite participants to think of a time in which they could not effectively communicate an idea or thought. Give them examples of possibly speaking through language barriers or talking to someone who is not listening. Help them think of a time in which their parents or siblings did not understand a choice they made or did not fully comprehend an experience that they wanted to share. Allow silence for reflection after giving examples.

Part II. Paired Activity
Have participants pair up with someone and invite them to stand or sit in front of each other. Have them “blink out” their eyes and shake hands with their partner. Invite them to lock eye contact with their partner until you say “time.” The facilitator has the choice of how long they want this activity to run.

Part III. Discussion
After you say “time,” have the partners discuss their experience with each other. What was the other thinking? What did you assume I was thinking about? What was your comfort level with this activity? How hard was it to keep eye contact with me? How do you feel right now? Next, invite the partners to come back to the big group and discuss as a whole.

Part IV. Close
Reiterate the point that communication goes beyond the verbal discussion. Challenge participants to look for that nonverbal communication in their everyday interactions.

Pro-Tips:
The facilitator should think about whether or not to share the activity time with participants. Telling participants or not telling them leads for interesting twists. There will probably be laughing/awkward giggles throughout the activity. I suggest letting the laughter happen. Although it may be distracting the concentration of other participants, it opens conversation about another form of dialogue and communication.

Troubleshooting for Facilitators

Given the non-authoritative and flexible nature of facilitation, it is not unusual for situations to arise that can compromise the effectiveness of the reflection. Facilitators need to stay alert to these possibilities and be prepared to deal with them. Following are suggestions for handling such situations:

1.) One person dominates the discussion or continually interrupts it.
Make it clear that you want input from everyone: “Can I hear from someone that hasn’t spoken yet?” “I’ve noticed that no women have said anything about this issue. Would anyone like to say something about this?” Continue reading