Guillermo Campuzano, CM. Winter Quarter 2009

We all know that the main element of Vincentian spirituality is shaped by the direct encounter with the poor. Essentially, what should happen for this encounter to be transformative for people who are engaged in direct-service? The answer is simple: a conversation, a dialogue.

In this sense, Theodore Wiesner, CM is very clear in stating that the way of dialogue leads us to a second essential transformation: by being in front of the reality (poverty) of the other we will find, as Vincent did, our own poverty. O’Donnell writes in Vincent de Paul: His Life and Way, the following: In his experience with the poor, “Vincent knew both the depths of his own poverty and the graciousness of God’s mercy. This prolonged experience of anguish, desperation, and suffering raises the question: Who was the poorest person Vincent ever met? The answer that suggests itself is that he himself was. Vincent knew himself was the Poor One.”

All this happened thanks to an open, honest, and transformative dialogue with the poor.

To have an authentic Vincentian experience of service, be ready to engage in dialogue: with the people you serve, your group, your community, the community partners, and even the neighborhood where your service is located. For this to happen, follow these simple recommendations:

1. Open your eyes. Be attentive. Look at every detail. Be an observer—so you will have real elements of reality to share in your reflection and dialogue. How can you engage in a rich conversation if you are distracted, unaware, or if you do not grasp the main elements of the reality surrounding you?
2. Open your ears. Be ready to listen. The most challenging dimension of dialogue is not in what we say, but in how we listen to what the other is saying. Be attentive to grasp, not just the naked words, but the meaning that is behind those words—including feelings, emotions, expressions, stories, ambiguity, history, context, etc.
3. Shut your mouth. You really want to engage in conversation with others? Do you dream of being proactive in a conversation? Silence is the way. Can you believe it? The great speakers, the most amazing conversationalists of the world are people of silence, people who allow words to grow up within their guts and their hearts before the words come out of their mouths. Don’t say everything you have in your head. Make your words travel inside your life before they travel through the air reaching the ears of others.
4. Pick the right questions. How can you be provoking and challenging and promote a rich conversation with the people you serve and others? Pick the right questions. Always give the opportunity to the other to say, “I do not want to talk about this.” For instance, begin your questions with “Can you…” “Will you…” Invite the other into an opportunity to share the context or history behind their thoughts/positions. Do not ask just rational questions. Explore beyond the heart of the ones who are in front of you, if you really want to know them. Do not be afraid if somebody becomes vulnerable in front of you and begins sharing pain and suffering, especially when this pain and suffering raises you own vulnerability, the fragility of your life. take time to just be there with them.
5. Be countercultural. You will find in the way of your life people who talk a lot. They appear to be smart, assertive, and very self-confident. They are usually praised and awarded in our society. We often think of them as our leaders. Do you want to become a Vincentian in Action? Listen to the voiceless. Look for the words in the margins. Be attentive to the softer and humble voices at the table. Their wisdom is there. Just create the space for them to be able to say their word and you will be surprised and enriched, amazed, by a new way of saying and seeing reality—a new way you need to incorporate in your own vision.
6. Make your best effort to understand—be empathetic. The art of dialogue is also in listening selectively to what people are saying to you. Not all the material in a conversation is important in order to understand the self-revelation of the other through her/his words. If you really want to understand what the other is trying to say to you listen carefully to the subtle emphasis of their words, be attentive to the body language accompanying certain expressions, and grasp the ambiguity or the coherence of expressions and feeling inside the speech. In a word be empathetic—put yourself in the shoes of the other!!!
7. Finally be aware that dialogue is essential in building justice. How can we accomplish justice in a multicultural and interreligious world if not through dialogue? Be ready to accept diversity of words, and points of view when engaging in dialogue with others. Try to find truth while listening to different opinions over same realities. Be humble to admit that you are the holder of just a small piece of the whole truth.