By Henri Nouwen

You have to let your father and mother [and parent] figures go. You must stop seeing yourself through their eyes and trying to make them proud of you.

For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. You need not look at that only in a negative way.  You wanted to give your heart to others, and you did so quickly and easily. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you. You must stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self.

Henri Nouwen was a Catholic priest, writer, and theologian.
From The Inner Voice of Love: Doubleday, 1996.