By Barbara Deming

The two hand of Nonviolence metaphor comes from the writings of the late Barbara Deming, a feminist writre and activist. In her book Revolution and Equilibrium, Deming’s metaphor of the two hands underscores the creative tension that fuels both interpersonal transformation and social change.

With one hand we say to one who is angry or an oppressor, or to an unjust system, “Shop what you are doing. I refuse to honor the role you are choosing to play. I refuse to obey you. I refuse to cooperate with your demands. I refuse to build the walls and the bombs. I refuse to pay for the guns. With this hand I will even interfere with the wrong you are doing. I want to disrupt the easy pattern of your life.”

But then the advocate of nonviolence raises the other hand. It is raised out-stretched – maybe with love and sympathy, maybe not – but always outstretched with the message that, “No, you are not the others; and no, I am not the others…” With this hand I say, “I won’t let go of you or cast you out of the human race. I have faith that you can make a better choice than you are making now, and I’ll be here when you are ready. Like it or not, we are part of one another.”

Barbara Deming was an American feminist and advocate of nonviolent social change in anti-war and women’s movements.